Top Met’ Plods Misuse Anti-Terror Funds

Britain’s most powerful police body - which for some obscure dodgy reason is run as a private business (Greedy_Plod.com) - has spent zillions of pounds earmarked for counter-terrorism projects - such as the vaunted Spot.a.Scally and Manky Mosque Watch Sentinel programmes - on luxury London flats for their senior officers.

The spending on an undisclosed number of apartments (28) in the Westminster area is understood to be about £10.6 zillion quid annually.

The payments are taken directly from taxpayer funding provided to the money-grasping Association of Criminal Police Officers (ACPO) by the Home Office to tackle the fanciful terrorist threat across Britain – which obviously includes buying up luxury apartments that Islamic Jolly Jihadi terrorists might otherwise operate out of.

The funding – £33 zillion last year – is supposed to be used to beef up regional police forces’ anti-terrorism response and pay for crucial hi-tech equipment – such as boots and handcuffs.

Instead, the ACPO’s Terrorist Investigation Tactics (TIT) committee, headed by Assistant Commissioner Jack McKuntt, has used zillions of pounds from the budget to pay for the refubishment of their apartments and the fitting of IMAX home cinemas, saunas and jacuzzi whirlpools – such as evidenced at Mayfair’s Plod Hamlets complex.

Regular readers of the tabloid gutter press will no doubt recall that Assistant Commissioner McKuntt headed the controversial New Labour cash-for-honours inquiry coverup and whitewash in 2006.

Last night the ACPO refused to disclose how many apartments it was paying for, or who was receiving the dodgy perks, but all are said to be well-appointed penthouse suites with a spledid panoramic view of the Scotland Yard gardens and the extraordinary rendition centre's torture chambers.

While the ACPO may well insist all the apartments are ‘occupied’ by their senior officers, one well-placed insider snitch who spoke to the Daily Shitraker on conditions of anonymity (Sgt. Vic McGrasser) related that a lot of the top rank plods actually sub-let their gaffs to banksters, Mossad agents, drug cartel chiefs and other career criminals to finance their Madame Spanker dominatrix fetishes, kinky call boy habits, hard core narcotic addictions and high maintenance gambling manias.

Local estate agents ‘Cardboard Box’ and ‘Evictors’ both related the cheapest three or four-bedroom flats in the area cost £2,400,000 to buy or at least £850 a week to rent - but with the top brass officer class requiring more ‘secure locations’ the flats are rumoured to cost the public purse substantially more.

The ACPO is already under fire for its burgeoning tax-exempt commercial activities. Last year The Sunday Scandalmonger disclosed it was selling information from the Police National Computer data banks for up to £70 a throw to anyone who wanted it.

A further breach of trust was their operating yet another separate private firm Scally.Watch - offering training to speed-camera operators, which was run by a senior officer who had been banned from driving for being pissed behind the wheel and doing a hit-and-run job on a group of Darby & Joan Club pensioners.

This disturbing news led to awkward questions being fronted in the House of Conmans by Tory chief Posh Dave Cameron about the ACPO’s purported central role in policing and evolving tactics on anti-terrorist operations, as well as campaigning on key issues such as the proposed 90-day detention for terror suspects and the enlargement of the national DNA database to impose the compulsary inclusion of every bugger and their dog – and goldfish.

The ACPO president Sir Hugh Deficit responded to government pressures by pledging to reform the organisation, admitting its role as a private firm paid zillions a year from the taxpayer’s purse to effectively run the nation’s police forces was an absolute joke – and not even a funny one at that.

Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary, the toothless police watchdog, went further, stating ‘The ACPO’s status as a private limited company works in direct conflict of interest to transparent accounting when it’s committee are time-sharing with drug dealers, white slavers, kiddie filth pornographers, establishment paedophiles, and other assorted criminal types’.

Conversely Assisstant Commissioner McKuntt told Fux News ‘The ACPO was set up post-9/11 and a massive amount of work was thereafter initiated to ensure that the UK had a national structure in place to tackle terrorism – and to give assistance to our mates from Mossad who were here carrying out false flag attacks on the London Underground – and to provide UK passports for their bungling assassination teams in Dubai.”

“I mean, just look at all the intel’ work we’re involved in for the Ministry of Propaganda and Public Scaremongering alone – arranging frame up jobs on Muslim beardie types like yer 7/7 bombers from Leeds – Mohammed al Patsy and his gang – and people begrudge us a big of luxury comfort to relax after a hard day defending the realm against foreign terrorists and running around like a bunch of blue-arsed flies setting up fall guys to take the blame for the real villains from the CIA and Tel Aviv.”