Friday, 5 March 2010

Rodent Back-Stabs UK Over Falklands

Once again, the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

The super-bitch hypocrite currently posing as the US Secretary of Sleaze - Hilarious Rodent Clinton – joined Argentinian President Chlamydia de Korruptioni at a press conference in Buenos Aires last night – the eye-popping text of which has just been released by the State Department.

The Rodent’s duplicitous remarks represent an astonishing propaganda coup for the Peronist regime in its dispute with Britain over the Falklands, with Clinton – vigorously promoting President Barky O’Barmy’s – and too Washington’s - political positions - brazenly backing the Argentinian claim that the Malvinas Islands (Falklands) are theirs – and Britain are de facto buccaneering interlopers out to exploit the region’s oil wealth.

President Korruptioni told the assembled media “We would like Britain to sit down at the table and address these negotiations within the framework of the UN’s decolonisation statutes and have the US as a country friendly to Argentina to arbitrate the negotiations.”

The Rodent was quick to get herself on camera and pronounced she wanted Argentina and the United Kingdom sat down to resolve the issues between them across the table in a peaceful, productive way - much the same as the US had done concerning its disagreement with Iraq and Saddam Hussein in 2003.

The US Secretary of Sleaze has thus given her full support for the official stance of Buenos Aires, despite the fact that Great Britain has made it clear that the sovereignty of the Falklands is non-negotiable – and that Argentina can “go fuck itself”.

Further the Rodent makes no reference to the fact that Argentina belligerently threatened a naval blockade of the Falklands only recently to disrupt Britain’s scheduled positioning of an offshore drilling rig - or that its close ally (and US arch-enemy) President Hugo Numpty of Venezuela has been threatening war against Britain over the dispute – even though his country is located at the other end of the basket case South American continent – and a zillion sea miles from the UK - or Argentina.

Standing behind her designer teleprompter and sided by personal assistant Sapphie Dildodo, the Rodent further informed the assembled media hacks that “Argentina has been a good friend to Kenyan President O’Barmy and deserves our support on this matter – especially so as the Malvinas Islands are definitely within their geo-political sphere and should be theirs to exploit the oil wealth – with US assistance obviously.”

The Rodent’s hypocritical stance has effected a most adverse knee-jerk response in London where a furious diplomatic complaint was lodged with the US Embassy in Grosvenor Square – in the form of a typed sheet of A4 wrapped around a house brick and lobbed through the Ambassador’s bedroom window by one of MI5’s champion tomcat chuckers.

According to one whistleblower at Whitehall’s Snitch & Grassers Department, the gist of the complaint centres on the strikingly poor judgment of the Rodent – for while currying up favour with the third rate Latin American kleptocracy that Argentina has represented for centuries – just to hear the sound of her own monotonous voice - she is alienating America’s most loyal and valuable global ally.

The diplomatic ‘note’ closes with the message that if the Rodent’s backing of the Argentine regime is now official US government policy, then the US has 24 hours to vacate the military bases – of troops, ordnance and strategic nukes – from the UK’s green and pleasant sceptred isle forthwith.

The intended boycott of all goods originating in the US –and the dissolution of all further support for their rogue client state of Israel - and Zionism in general – will be delivered via the medium of another well-aimed brick once the Privy Council have signed it.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the woods and there’s no-one around to smell it, does it still stink?

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