Sunday, 28 March 2010

Knesset ‘Shakran’ Claims Gaza Not Besieged

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill - providing additional proof that this is the month of the Mad March Hare.

According to Ramaim Ibn Zamel - Israel’s Minister for Euphemisms - the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are not under siege and definitely not enduring a humanitarian crisis, he declared in a briefing to the Knutty Knesset Rashaim Affairs and Genocide Committee yesterday.

His Knesset report follows the recent high profile visits to Gaza by UN Secretary-General Ban Loony Moony and the EUSSR’s foreign policy chief Fellattia Gashton.

Mr Ibn Zamel showed the UN visitors pictures of bustling markets in Gaza – revealing that hundreds of trucks travel into the Palestinian enclave every day - supplying fuel, water, isotonic energy drinks, Hershey bars, tins of Spam, sex toys, depleted uranium, Marvel action comics and medical equipment.

He further revealed hundreds of Gazans visit Israel every morning, seeking medical care for their overnight bullet wounds and white phosphorous burns, and to pray at the St Shylock’s Synagogue.

“Talk of hunger and a siege in Gaza is all anti-Semitic goyim propaganda,” Ibn Zamel stated for the record. “There is no humanitarian crisis and the huge wall we have built around the place is for the Palestinian’s protection.”

“Gaza and the West Bank are very happy places. It is like Disneyland in Florida – everyone smiling and Jews getting along with their Palestinian neighbours. Don’t believe me – just ask Bono.”

Ibn Zamel went on to boast of Israeli stoicism and enduring patience concerning reports there had been a rise in rocket fire from Gaza at Israeli civilians, which he blamed on tension over the illegal Jewish setlements in Jerusalem and told the UN heavies and Pox News he did not believe it would intensify –especially so after IDF troops and bulldozers had levelled the village from where the make-shift rockets were fired - and shot everyone old enough to bleed.

Apparently the incident Mr Ibn Zamel was referring to involved a Hamas militia Kassam rocket being fired willy-nilly from Gaza on Saturday night which perchance struck a Kikester brothel packed with drunken IDF thugs located on the Ashkelon coastal road.

So, where is your family vacation caravan headed this year? Disney World in Paris or Florida – or holed up in some bombed-out bunker in Gaza? Have you ever thought of going totally gaga and investing in a West Bank timeshare apartment to offset the bankrupting financial ravages caused by 13 years of Labour Party mismanagement?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

* Shakran – Heb’ – Liar.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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