Labour’s New ‘Pay As You Die’ Tax Scheme

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

British old age pensioners, of the common penniless and poverty-stricken variety, could face both central government and local authority pressures to sign up for a 'Pay as you Die' council tax scheme, according to rumours being foisted on the gullible public by Posh Dave Cameron and his shit-stirring Tory party stooges.

The Conservatives claim the plans amounted to a 'Death Tax' whereby oldies could have the option to defer council tax bills until after their death - or struggle to survive on their pittance of a pension while paying the exorbitant local authority’s monthly tax bill charges for emptying a garbage wheelie bin every two weels and painting white circles around the neighbourhood’s ubiquitous post-Ice Age potholes.

Under the measures, older people can choose to stop paying local rates - with the outstanding bill, plus lots of mega-percent interest, pillaged from their estate when their property is sold - or they finally do everyone a big favour and croak.

The Tory Party’s ginger minger Shadow Secretary of State for Shit Stirring, Chlamydia Mingerot, suggested that if such were applied to deferred council rates it would simply – by stealth – constitute a 'second inheritance tax'.
'This is yet another of Lord Peter Scandalson’s savage raids on the savings of the elderly. Pension funds were first, then social care, and now it’s people's homes,' the rabid ranga informed reporters from the tabloid gutter press.

'Under New Labour plans supported by the flaccid Liberal Democrats, the vulnerable elderly risk being pressured into signing away their homes' equity to stave off the taxman.”
“This pay-as-you-die tax is just another shithouse excuse to hike up council taxes even more while avoiding the embarassing sight of pensioners being sent to jail for non-payment.”

Mrs Mingerot claims a 20-year deferment on the average home in England would create a £73,000 bill on top of the inheritance levy and possible new charges for personal care – with grasping local authorities raiding estates from beyond the grave to make children pay huge tax bills left by their deceased parents.

Have you signed one of Labour’s ‘Pay as you Die’ tax deals? Did you sign in blood or simply the usual ‘sweat and tears’? Are you aware that your local council is offering a great deal on ‘immortal souls’? How many months council tax will a pound of flesh pay off?

Send your comments using the online post form below. A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and address so a couple of Community Enforcement Officers and council bailiffs from the Renta-Thug Agency can come round and make your life an even bigger misery than it is already.