New Labour Gag Army on Afghan Fubar

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

The UK’s Ministry of Defence has been accused of imposing a “truth blackout” concerning certain questionable aspects surrounding ‘dodgy goings-on’ in the Afghanistan war amid accusations by Ox-Rat – the international grass and snitch / human rights and wrongs charity – that it is attempting to “bury bad news” during the election campaign by adopting a policy that nothing, especially so the iconoclastic Truth, is allowed to stand in the way of Gordon Broon’s chances of re-election.

British journalists and TV crews – and specifically correspondents from the Daily Shitraker and the Scandalmongers Gazette - are to be banned from the Afghan front line embedded press corps once a date for the election has been set, while senior officers will be prohibited from making public speeches and whispering to reporters behind the mess lines toilets in exchange for a quick blow or a spot of gay boy rumpy-pumpy - to minimise the chances of embarrassing disclosures.

MoD websites will also be “sanitised” of all “non-factual” material - including anything containing troop opinions that the war is a big bag of shite and the entire exercise in the basket case country has nothing to do with spreading Democracy and bringing Christianity to the heathen masses - but guarding the poppy crops and providing a massive profit-generating platform for the avaricious commercial interests of the Zionist military-industrial warmongering complex.

The edict finally reaches the public arena as supreme porridge wog Gordon ‘Culpability’ Broon was accused by the Tory opposition in the House of Conmans of using British troops as “political props” by visiting Afghanistan the day after telling a pack of lies before the Chilcot inquiry into that other disaster – the Iraq War.

While in Afghanistan, Broon went into photo-op mode and was repeatedly snapped shaking hands with some Afghan warlord called General Mohammed and signing re-election campaign flyer piccies for his entourage of adolescent catamites who jumped up and down with delight shouting ‘We’ve got Prince Charlie’s autograph.”

PM Broon has been repeatedly accused by former military chiefs of denying soldiers vital equipment and slashing defence budget allotments so he could bail out his ailing Freemason bankster mates - while troopers fighting with the front-line 18th Light Body Bag Brigade and the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment in the ongoing Operation Mishmash, which aims to clear Taliban strongholds – have been surviving on a diet of low-fat Spam and boiled goat clinkers.

Futher, no mention whatsoever has appeared in the UK media concerning the devastating losses suffered by the rookie chav and hoodie recruits of the 42nd Window Lickers Brigade when they were recently assigned to mine clearance duties in the Twat-al-Dork region of Bellend Province – and forced to employ the now-obsolete ‘Hopscotch’ method of enemy ordnance detection while clad in hobnail boots due Broon cutting their new magnetic IED scanner budget to zilch to fund the MPs’ forthcoming April pay raises of £1,000 quid each.

While to the embedded correspondent’s trained eye the so-called Shock & Awe troop surge and Operation Mishmash seem to have left the forces of Taliban Dan and Big Al Qaeda wholly intact, no mention of this has reached the ears of the British public via their home-based news media channels.

Further, the drug-smuggling, extraordinary rendition torture sessions and outright civilian massacres and assassinations carried out by the Pentagon’s Slackwater - XE mercenary contractors have been concealed in a shameful news blackout.

Too, the same methodology of gagging NATO officers has to date concealed the homosexual rape crimes of the Afghan army’s 27th Sodomites Battalion who make an ‘excusable’ cultural practice of butt-phucking kidnapped children and anything else with a cock-sized hole – from goats to gophers – and each other.

Meanwhile on the other side of the Atlantic’s picket fence, the Rothshite stooge and political meddler Zbigniew Brzezinski - along with White House Chief of Staff – the ultra-Zionist Rahm Emanuel - have had strong words in the ear of the Kenyan impostor and told him in no uncertain terms to block the release of photos and video footage showing U.S. troops abusing prisoners in both Iraq and Afghanistan – with federal court orders and the Freedom of Information Act be damned.

According to the Warmongers Gazette this course of action is being expedited out of concern that the pictures would "further inflame anti-American opinion and sentiments" and endanger U.S. forces in Iraq and Afghanistan by exposing them to rightfully just public criticism for breaches of the Geneva Convention and the Nuremberg Code – and leave them wide open for prosecution for their war crimes.

Thought for the day: If the Taliban shit in a cave and there’s no-one around from Slackwater - XE to smell it, does it still stink?