Saturday 31 December 2011

Chavez Fingers CIA Cancer Plot

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Venezuelan President Chavez this week raised the scary spectre that the Great Satan’s CIA dirty tricks division have developed a secret death ray or nasty nano-technology to stricken Latin America’s left-wing leaders with cancer to ensure their demise – as an alternative to the hypocrisy-ridden route of achieving regime changes via UN Security Council resolutions and dispatching the NATO thugs to enforce a Libyan style measure of ‘humanitarian intervention’.

Following his personal surgery and chemotherapy treatment for cancer in Cuba this year Chavez made public his suspicions upon receiving news that President Cristina Fernandez of Argentina has now been diagnosed as suffering from thyroid cancer.

Chavez opined to one press hack from the Snuff Flick Gazette that this phenomenon was worthy of a place in the Guinness Book of World Records - following Fernando Lugo of Paraguay, Dilma Rousseff of Brazil, and her predecessor Lula da Silva, also suffering from cancer – and all Latin American leaders who, like Chavez , are possessed with minds of their own – and brook no time for the Great Satan’s meddling in the socio-political affairs of developing Third World nations – saddling them with a kleptocracy of corrupt puppet leaders, a basket of IMF debts - and then seizing control of their natural resources.

Labelled by the US State Department as ‘Horrible Hugo’, the Bolshie Venezuelan leader speculated further that these instances of cancer were difficult to explain using the law of probabilities or even Koestler’s Roots of Coincidence.
“The CIA want me gone as I am anti-US and oppose their imperialist policies to use the Rothshite banksters to impose an IMF Debtocracy on us. Now they have seized control of Haiti since using their HAARP machines to create that massive earthquake, maybe they have recruited a coven of voodoo witch doctors to blight us with their curses.”

“This type of plot these CIA scumbags tried following their Bay of Pigs fiasco in the 1960’s – targeting my very good amigo Fidel Castro with a carcinogenic agent in his footwear so his beard would fall out and then he would lose his Latin machismo and hence all political credibility. But that failed so then they tried to kill him with exploding cigars – surely the stuff of Wiley T Coyote – thought up by that Watergate bungler Gordon ‘Fuckups’ Liddy.”

“But joking aside, my intelligence agents and science boffins claim this type of cancer death ray is possible as the Great Satan have access to the research and radionics machine equipments of Dr Galen T Hieronymous and George de la Warr – that can either cure or kill a person through a process using the emulsion on a photographic negative of themselves. Very scary – so perhaps time to start wearing my tinfoil hat again.”

“We know what they did to Bob Marley - with a strand of radioactive wire embedded in a pair of trainers given to him as a present from an anonymous ‘fan’. The CIA and US State Department described Marley as the most dangerous black man alive due his anti-war and peace activist songs. Just the same as they had the mind-controlled Mark Chapman murder John Lennon when the ex-Beatle announced plans to get back into the peace promotion side of the music business.”

“Anyone who doesn’t kiss their Ivy League Zionist kikester arses or goes against the grain of their agenda is a danger to be rid of. Just Google up a record of false flag terror attacks that the United States has been involved with - starting with the Maine – then the ever-so convenient fatal strokes and coronaries and diseases - and the air crashes. They’re all only a step less ham-fisted than Mossad’s Mohammed al Patsy 9/11 fubar and the ridiculous Harold Holt drowning fiasco.”

Editorial advisory. Anyone reading this article and inhaling, it might just be good practice to start checking your boots for bits of radioactive wire sticking up - and the trash can for any empty packets with ‘Sellafield’ or ‘Fuckupshima’ printed on them – and don’t leave any photographic negatives of yourself lying around.

Thought for the day. Interesting point that the US State Department have taken time out to even acknowledge what they term Chavez ‘paranoid conspiracy accusations’ – let alone commission a whole series of media reports to promulgate the absolute impossibility of implementing such a ridiculous plot – and too focusing disbelief regarding the existence of the sci-fi covert devices required – to cause cancerous conditions in anti-US political leaders targeted for assassination.
Hmmm, Occam’s Razor strikes again.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known conspiracy theory / propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 30 December 2011

Tory Philistines Want Blood Sports Back

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In the unqualified opinion of Jumpin’ Jim Paice, one of the Tory Party’s psycho pro-blood sports proponents, the 2004 Hunting Act simply doesn't work as foxes can now stand back and laugh contemptuously - shouting “Ha, Ha, Ha - Boom! Boom!” as they imitate the iconic ginger-mingin, anthropomorphic fox raconteur, the star of the Beeb’s Children’s Hour: Basil Brush - at the red-coated morons on their horses as they ‘toot-toot’ then bawl and holler in vain to stop their pack of baying hounds tearing some hapless fucker’s moggy or Pekingese – or toddler - to pieces in the middle of Suburbia.

Paice, the Tory MP for Old Scrotum - and a Ministry of Agriculture jobsworth long past his shelf life - confided to a press hack from the Barbarians Gazette a bevy of his flawed opinions on the hunting ban - which makes it illegal to hunt wild animals using dogs.
“Our green and pleasant land’s fallen victim to all this prissy humanitarian and political correctness bunkum. Don’t forget, it was blood and guts that built the British Empire - one that the sun never set on – not pissing around in the House of Conmans, wasting time and money debating about fox and badger rights.”

”There’s so many of our working dog breeds facing extinction since these do-gooder moralist bans came into force. No more coursing with lurchers and ripping a mad March hare or three to ribbons. No bugger bothers breeding the good old St Hubert’s for tracking down escaped kaffirs anymore since that holier-than-thou prat Wilberforce and his mate Clarkson got slavery abolished.”

“The bear pits have all gone - along with badger baiting and that splendid Victorian seaside pastime of cormorant chucking. Perhaps it’s just my sadistic streak coming out, but really, if it was up to me I’d ditch Scameron’s Big Society and Hug-a-Hoodie doctrines and bring back conscription and organize gladiator training camps for the unemployed. Then see if that motivated them to get off their lazy arses when it came down to a fight for their very lives – tossing them into a pit with a pack of ravenous wolves.”

Chlamydia Mingerot, chief executive of the Countryside Alliance, told the Carnivores Review “Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate’s Residents Committee used to organize a smashing annual Boxing Day event in which Staffordshire Pitbull Terriers were loosed on Scumshawe Park to hunt down and tear to pieces any and all pervy voyeur masturbators, would-be rapists and potential kiddie fiddlers caught lurking in the bushes.”

“That used to keep sex crimes down to a minimum but got banned after a pair of Community Enforcement snitches who were on a stake out in the park, spying on residents shoving their garbage in the wrong wheelie bin, were mistaken for a couple of wankers and got disembowelled by a pack of rabid Rottweilers.”

“Regardless, we are expecting a crowd of some 250,000 peasants to be out and about up and down the country to support their local hunts and hear the piercing howls from the frustrated hounds as they tear the ‘fox scent drag’ to shreds – then start on each other.”

Seasoned hunt saboteur and ‘League Against Cruel Sports’ chief executive Joe Duckfat informed media reporters “There’s no effin’ place fer animal cruelty in a civilised society an’ any fucker wiv two brain cells ter rub together is right behind New Labour's ban on huntin’ wild animals wiv a pack of fuckin’ dogs – even though they do still question wot woz the moral point of bringin’ in the act in 2004 when Bliar an’ Co had illegally authorised a free-for-all shootin’ match in Iraq wiv that other dumb twat Dubya Bush.”

"Now while every sod’s worried about losin’ their jobs an’ fallin’ incomes an’ risin’ prices we’ve got this out of touch Tory-dominated coalition government talkin’ about abolishin’ the act an’ bringin’ huntin’ back. Although I must admit the majority of the public might enjoy seein’ Chancellor Georgie Osborne chased down by a pack of hounds an’ ripped ter bits.”

Do you live in a hunting fetish area? Have you ever been hunted to the point of exhaustion by wild dogs then had your arms and legs torn off? Do you consider blood sports to be cruel? What are your thoughts on hedgehog strangling as a sport?

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Thought for the day: At least bears are now able to shit in the woods in comfort, without having a pack of hounds disturbing them halfway through a good crap.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 29 December 2011

Qatar Suffers Fatal Delusions of Grandeur

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Busy little bully boy bees, al Qatar’s ruling Al Thani hierarchy – meddling in matters far from home and none of their concern – yet a fatal cocktail of political and militarist intrigues that shall prove to be - shaken or stirred – when the proverbial shit hits the fan and the entire Gulf region goes ballistic later in 2012.

While the obscenely obese Al-Thani tribe have been under the City of London’s ‘protectorate’ thumb dating back to the 19th century - and paid-up members of the pro-Zionist arse-lickers club since the advent of the 1990 Gulf War ‘Part One’ – aka Operation Desert Massacre - they went on to consolidate their fealty by obliging the Rothshite crime syndicate with the establishment of the Al Jezeera news media network in 1996 - to act as a pro-Western / anti-Palestinian propaganda machine maintaining the interests of Israel and their Mid-East military hegemony.

Adding to their ‘Yessir!’ subservience, Qatar’s recently rolled out the red carpet to play host to the Great Satan’s New World Order / Foreign Policy Initiative military juggernaut and hordes of GI psychos – and on dog whistle demand funnelled mega-bucks, Jolly Jihadi terrorists and caches of weapons into the effort to overthrow Gaddafi’s benign dictatorship regime - which resulted in the decimation of the entire national infrastructure (so Scallyburton and Bechtel can come and rebuild it all – at great profit) – turning Libya into an even bigger lawless, gun-toting trigger-happy fuck up than Iraq.

But that’s all part of the plan – order into chaos and the creation of a chain of totally dysfunctional Islamic societies that require the West’s guiding Christian Democratic hand to sort their shit out.

Now the al Thani gang are not only sponsoring the Syrian Wahhabi terrorist groups (Free Syrian Army – composed entirely of Libyans and Taliban muhijadeen on vacation) out to overthrow President Bashar al-Assad and install a Western-stooge regime – just like Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya – (all in preparation for the pre-emptive strikes against Iran in the New Year) – but plotting the downfall of the kleptocratic shambles that poses as the despotic government of Saudi Arabia.

The gospel according to an audio file which has gone viral on the Internet, the Qatari ruler, Emir Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani – a triple-chinned fat slob who’s never seen his own feet for years unless he looks in a mirror and is only a couple of steps away from a fatal coronary or a stroke – (or both) - informed one press hack from the Camel Bonkers Gazette that Qatari troops would occupy Qatif in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province and the Al Saud regime will disintegrate.

“The regime of King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Fat Git and his 5,000 hangers-on royal princes is exhausted and powerless to control the country - and the army cannot confront our forces in Qatif now we have the backing of the US bases here in Qatar with their invincible MQ-9 Reaper drones and Shitehawk missiles – hence we shall emerge the dominant Arab power in the region and take possession of their Ghawar oil and gas fields. Insha’Allah.”

Hmmm, sounds like the bonkers al Thani mafia have taken a page out of the warmongering Israeli ZioNazi regime’s Hasbara Handbook with this latest outrage of chutzpah and their ambitions surpassing intellect. While they might well claim hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in the Persian Gulf region, this poses no less that an arrogant display of impotent sabre-rattling – that might just manifest as a terminal attack of unqualified brazen hubris.

Is this ruling dynasty of moronic sodomites and kiddie-fiddlers so fucking stupid as not to understand they’re simply another muppet stooge state to be used as a doormat while it suits the Western aggressors?
Any delusions they have of being a Middle East ‘power player’ in the New World Order / Greater Israel game plan will be dashed when they learn to their dismay that neither the Rothshite crime syndicate's Zionist state or the Great Satan play well with others - nor like to share their toys – or spoils.

Silly Qatar – obsessed with big ideas and reliving the halcyon days of Shaikh Jassim. A deluded little bully state now become - that has the enervated support of Posh Dave Scameron’s Tory-dominated Libservative Coalition government in Westminster – plus a bit of US and Israel clout behind it right now – but just watch the sparks fly when they start sparring up against Iran.

‘Dawlat Qatar’ - this flyspeck peninsula poking out into the Persian Gulf like a festering tumour – or more fittingly – a gangrenous haemorrhoid – hanging off the arse end of Saudi Arabia’s Ash Sharqiyah region – is going to end up in a very sorry state if they continue down this fatally-flawed path of aggression plotted for them by the Great Satan.

Thought for the day. Why can’t Qatar simply be content to become the first Arab state to host the FIFA World Cup in 2022 – a dubious privilege they secured thanks to a spot of all-round bribery and corruption by their bid committee members Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer bin al Thani and the ultra-smarmy disgraced pariah / ex-Asian Football Confederation President Mohammed bin Hammam?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Israel Demands Egypt Bribes Refund

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In yet another typical display of their sickening chutzpah and giving credence to the cultural stigma for money-grubbing, the outlaw Israeli government are demanding a full refund from Egypt’s ruling military junta of the zillions of shekels in bribes they paid to deposed President Hosni Mubarak in exchange for re-writing regional history to make their pariah state look good in Egyptian educational study text books - and put the hard word on the media to play down reports focusing on their true land-grabbing terrorist rogue state image.

A member of Israel's Labor Party (sic) - Binman ben-Eliezer - a lard-arsed slob who looks like he’s two steps away from a fatal coronary or a stroke – or both – has, with brazen hubris notwithstanding, publicly called on Egyptian officials to pay back the illegal bribes that PM Bobo Nuttyahoo’s even nuttier Knesset paid to Cairo’s ruling mafia during the reign of Pharaoh Mubarak.

The bonkers ben-Eliezer informed one press hack from the Baksheesh Gazette – without producing any form of receipt to back up his claim - that Israel gave 300 million dollars to the former Egyptian dictator to change the core content of the national education materials – specifically removing any and all reference and mention of the 1948 Yawm an-Nakbah – (the start of the Palestinian Holocaust) – or the ultra-Zionist racist state’s ethnic cleansing and slow cook genocide policies against the Palestinian population – in order to make Israel look good.

”We paid that scumbag Mubarak good money to have his education ministry sterilise their history books so no reference is made that our Zionist state is governed by Ashkenazi Jews of convenience – nor any mention of our illegal settlements in the occupied territories – or the 700-plus kilometres of Great Apartheid Walls surrounding the West Bank - and besieging the Gaza Strip in the biggest SS-style concentration camp on the planet.”

“We particularly wanted the expurgation of citations to these accusations that our IDF’s Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squad were kidnapping Palestinian children to have them murdered so their internal organs could be harvested for our black market transplant trade – and especially those references that Mossad’s psychos were responsible for the 9/11 false flag terror attacks on New York and the Pentagon.”

“When I spoke to Mubarak on the phone he guaranteed me that once the cheque cleared then he’d have the offending pages torn out of the school history books – and put a stop their Daily Shitraker newspaper referring to us as ‘the ZioNazi state of Israel’ - then calling us - God's Chosen People - hypocrites for accusing Iran of developing nukes and being in a state of non-compliance with their international nuclear obligations when we’ve already got a nuclear weapons arsenal and refuse to sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty ourselves.”

“Then no sooner is the cheque in the post when the next thing he gets overthrown and the entire regime’s out on its ear. We’ve paid to get something done – so it’s a case of non-performance and we want our money back – with interest.”

Hmmm, however much money they throw at PR in an attempt to decriminalise their actions past and present, the stigma of this chauvinist cult of Zionism and the existence of the illegal rogue state of Israel founded on another people’s sovereign lands, cannot be defended - ethically, morally or intellectually.

Further, career kikesters like ben-Eliezer and his meshuggenah mates have got more chance of shoving butter up a porcupine’s arse with a red hot knitting needle that ever seeing a single red cent of their bribe money ever paid back by Cairo’s invested martial law junta.

Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate banksters and their Zionist-Masonic New World Order global capital of Israel.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/218045.html

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 28 December 2011

Militarist Jingle Tops Xmas Carols

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

So, this politically-contrived campaign push to get the Military Wives Choir’s rendition of ‘Wherever You Are – Whoever You’re Killing’ – from its release a week ago, on December 19th - into the 2011 UK Christmas number one spot - has, against the constraints of good taste and moral rectitude, actually succeeded.

Hmmm, one might prudently inquire, why has some amateurish two-versed cobbled-together illiterate ditty glorifying wars of aggression - and the homicidal maniacs expediting them - overtaken our traditional Yuletide carols that were composed to promote the season of goodwill towards all men - and peace on Earth?

Well, that’s all thanks to the media-mesmerised morons who were moved to tears by the hypocrisy-ridden ‘soundbite’ lyrics – (compliments of the brainwashing Tavistock Institute and Scameron’s cabinet Nudge Unit) - such as ‘wondrous star’ and ‘prince of peace’ - glorifying Broken Britain’s neo-colonial / imperialist belligerence and hostilities against a series of hapless Third World dumps – by plagiarising terms traditionally employed to describe Jesus Christ and His role in this world – both etheric and temporal – and not the antics of some army of gung-ho trigger-happy psycho squaddies deployed on active service in Afghanistan – aka ‘The Graveyard of Empires’.

The song entered the UK singles chart, immediately claiming the Christmas ‘Numero Uno’ spot due selling more than 556,000 copies in a single week and knocking ‘Dominick the Donkey’ for a boundary six.

To give added emphasis to the poor taste involved, the smarmy song’s CD sleeve cover art features the emblem of an opium poppy in full bloom on a traditional Islamic green background, with a collage of photos depicting scenes of devastation caused by the NATO troops to Afghan peasant villages.

However the hit single has copped for lashings of criticism from human rights and wrongs groups around the globe, with Baz ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, the director of Ox-Rat, informing one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette “Really, how many copies do yer think have bin bought by the Iraqis or the Libyans – or the Taliban and Afghan peasants wot’s lost entire families ter NATO’s not-so smart bombs an’ the Predator drone’s Shitehawk missiles?”

“Wot I’d like ter see is some lyrics included in this piece of hypocritical bullshit wot tell the effin’ truth an’ not a bunch of emotional tear-wrenchin’ crap wot’s set ter play on the public’s perceptions of the poor soldiers - an’ classifyin’ ‘em as ‘our heroes’ fer invadin’ some hapless fucker’s country an’ brutalisin’ every fucker old enough ter bleed.”

“In my opinion it’s all a poor show of propaganda an’ a typical display of bad taste by this government – blowing the Beacon of Democracy trumpet at Christmas – the traditional time of peace and goodwill to all men on Earth - while the Ministry of Defence psychos have British troops deployed in an aggressive war of occupation in Afghanistan.”
“It’s all linked ter perpetuate this Lest We Forget / Remembrance Day hypocrisy – cos since 1918 we’ve never stopped forgettin’ – an’ are still gettin’ our arses involved in nasty, engineered belligerent conflicts around the effin’ globe.”

“So bollocks ter this Military Wives Choir – wot ter my mind – homophobia besides - is chocker block wiv lipstick lezbo sopranos an’ bull dyke baritones – an’ I’d like ter hear less of the discordant caterwaulin’ an’ hear ‘em do a rap version of the song instead.”

“Ahhhhhh!” they scream as the snipers let fly,
Old Mohammed just copped one, right in the eye.
Wherever You Are – each day must be thrillin’,
Oh what a rush when it’s heathens yer killin’;
But watch out fer the Taliban, keep yer head down,
Then call in an air strike ter flatten their town.

My love is your flack jacket, buttoned up tight,
So no bonkin’ goats in the darkness of night;
Think only of me when you havin’ wet dreams,
An’ no getting’ off on yer child victim’s screams.

Light up the darkness with a load of Willy-Pete,
Pickin’ off kids as they run scared down the street;
Bugger words of ‘peace’ – just leave them in ‘pieces’,
The sons an’ the daughters – an’ the nephews an’ nieces.
An’ I’m keepin’ me promise not ter shag other men
By havin’ raunchy sex wiv some skanger called Gwen.

“Ooooooh! That woz nice”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Huhne’s Ex Missus Bent on Felo-de-Se

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Essex Plod Squad officers have made public their recommendation to the Crown Prosecution Service that Energy Secretary Chris Huhne, the Lib-Dum MP for Fastlane, and his estranged wife Vicky Pryce, both be charged with perjury and perverting the course of justice following an investigation into claims that Huhne conspired to evade the legal penalty for speeding.

A file now with the Director of the CPS reports that Vicky Pryce, Huhne’s wife of 26 years - whom he left in 2005 for a 15-year younger rug-munching bisexual strumpet, Candida Trimingham - should be charged with attempting to pervert the course of justice.

This recommendation derives from Pryce’s personal lemming mode confession – made while dressed only in a penitent’s garb of sackcloth, face daubed with ashes and kneeling before three magistrates and a C of E Bishop – then sworn with her right hand upon the body of a dead heron - that she agreed to commit perjury and take the fall in accepting DVLA penalty points on her licence after her scumbag husband was caught by a speed camera while driving close to Mach 3 down the motorway and wearing a Flop Gear ‘Stig’ helmet so he couldn’t be recognised.

Evidence held by the Essex Plod Squad includes text messages from Pryce’s cellphone in which Huhne told her that there was no case against him unless she decided to “give some legs to it” – and warned that she too could go to prison if she grassed him up over the speeding points issue in retaliation for his shacking up with a younger bit of stuff that enjoyed swinging both ways.

The likelihood of suffering incarceration for her revelations in admitting criminal activity and the prospects of career self-immolation besides, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, as the adage goes – especially when she’s submitted to the indignity of her driving license being loaded up with a bunch of nasty penalty points for her spouse’s speeding offences – only to have the ungrateful bastard toss her aside for some AC/DC minge-eating political lobbyist bitch who’d stab her own mother in the back for a step up the corporate ladder.

The 59-year old Pryce, (nee Vasiliki Courmouzis) - described by friends and family alike as ‘a Greek tragedy looking for somewhere to happen’ – informed one press hack from the Vendetta Gazette “It’s no longer a matter of my nose out of joint. I wouldn’t take the arsehole back even if he crawls naked across a soccer pitch littered with broken glass and anti-personnel mines. Really, on reflection, after 26 years I’m simply fed up with washing his skiddies and getting the damn Viagra prescription renewed.”

“The public might think I’m bent on revenge – and they’d be bloody right too. If I’m going to commit ritual seppuku and go down for perjury ‘and’ perverting the course of justice for saying it was me speeding on the M11 that day, then accepting his penalty points on my license, so be it - but I’m going to take that philandering bastard down with me.”

To add to Huhne’s well-deserved litany of burgeoning woes initiated via Pryce’s classic redux of a Japanese kamikaze pilot’s final act of hara-kiri, he also faces the simmering scandal concerning the nepotistic antics of his opportunist lobbying paramour Trimingham and her blatant influence peddling – arrogantly circulating her CV with conspicuous mention of the fact she has personal access to Libservative Cabinet Ministers and House of Conmans MPs - along with top brass Shitehall civil servants and Upper House peers.

So, for Posh Dave Scameron’s fuck up of a government, following the recent brouhaha involving Tory Defence Minister Dr Liam Pox and his influence-peddling faggot mate Adam Qwerty, another scandal rears its ugly head to add to Huhne’s perjury and perverting the course of justice accusations.

New Labour’s shadow energy minister Frank McScrote, opined to one reporter from the Gold-Diggers Review that “This piranha-toothed skanger Trimingham, wiv her dyke pageboy cut an’ Desperate Dan pugilist’s chin, she’s right out of order - shacked up wiv Huhne as his concubine an’ circulatin’ a CV wot abuses all manner of social connections. It’s bleedin’ incestuous, sendin’ e-mails out ter trans-national energy corporations tellin’ ‘em “If you want a wind farm contract, just let me know – I’ll have Chrissy arrange one for you”.

“It’s bad enough he’s goosin’ a PR consultant wot’s got connections ter most of the major public relations companies in London without her hawkin’ the cabinet minister boyfriend access factor around an’ sendin’ off e-mails temptin’ lobbyists ter – an’ here I quote - “make use of my skills and contacts with Chris’s bent mates”.
“An’ this twat Huhne reckons there’s no conflict of interest. My arse – the whole shebang stinks of graft an’ corruption.”

Conversely and in response, Ms Trimingham has denied she ever boasted to press hacks that “I’m Chris’s committed three-hole whore – he can put as many points on my license as the DVLA will let him.”

Thought for the day: If one was to believe in Karma, and all in the Cosmos turning full-circle, then it might be posited that Huhne’s collective woes are payback for cancelling the Sheffield Forgemasters loan last year. Hmmm, doesn’t God move in mysterious ways.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 26 December 2011

Broken Britain Bails Out Broken Africa

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Well, the UK’s Libservative Coalition Government has its domestic priorities screwed up like a soup sandwich yet again, with 9,000 tons of Christmas hampers and festive goodies being shipped out to the Horn of Africa in ‘food aid’ to feed an estimated 800,000 mooching gits.

International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell, the Tory MP for Slutton Coldfeet, informed one media hack from the Begging Bastards Review that zillions of hapless Third World peasants are in danger of missing out on a decent Christmas dinner as a result of the global economic downturn and deepening depression – which prompted sarcastic wits to question whether he was referring to Broken Britain or Somalia.

Not to be put down or made to look a bigger prick than he already is, Mitchell went into pontification mode, justifying the food aid shipments with reasons of the region being stricken by drought and famine – which prompted an automatic response from critics that “Of course they’re fucking starving – the stupid twats are living in the middle of a sodding desert - what does anyone expect.”

Mitchell claims the latest UN estimate is that in excess of 100,000 people have died since Thanksgiving. "Personally as I sit down to my traditional Xmas dinner of stuffed turkey and cranberry sauce followed by mince pies - and figgy pudding with silver three-penny bits stuck in it - conscience would play havoc with my digestion if those poor little piccaninnys in the Somalian outback who’ve never tasted our Greedy Grocer microwave-ready festive meals or one of Pestco’s Finest sausage rolls – or a Pukesbury’s sherry trifle, didn’t have the opportunity to tuck into even a simple repast of breadsticks and Stilton with a glass of port – and pull a couple of crackers together to cheer up their otherwise shitty pagan existences.”

Conversely, Baz McSkanger, the director of Ox-Rat, the government abuse watchdog charity, opined to gutter press reporters that “Bollocks ter the dysfunctional Horn of effin’ Africa – that smug-faced twat Scameron an ‘ his bleedin’ Tories should be sendin’ food parcels up ter the Horn of Lancashire an' the jobless wilderness of Yorkshire ter help out all the unemployed an’ homeless fuckers wot’s bin hit by this bankster-engineered recession an’ Georgie Osborne’s austerity programme wot’s gutted the welfare benefits system ter the bone – an’ are stuck on some effin’ landfill site freezin’ their nuts off fer Christmas.”

“Have these pillocks never heard the sayin’ that ‘charity begins at home’? So fuck Somalia – they’ve got a thrivin’ shippin’ an’ piracy industry goin’ fer them – an’ ain’t lumbered wiv Brussels’ EUSSR kleptocrats breathin’ down their necks 24/7, demandin’ they bail out the euro an’ save Greece from the Greeks.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 25 December 2011

Phil the Greek Has Boob Job Undone

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While the rest of the UK’s hapless common herd remain destined to lie bleeding in excruciating agony on a roadside pavement waiting for an NHS Trust ambulance to turn up following a violent mugging or car accident, the Duke of Edinburgh – aka Prince Philip – was rushed to Twatsworth Hospital in Middlesex - the UK's largest specialist transgender and cosmetic surgery centre – via RAF helicopter on Friday night after suffering a severe anxiety attack while watching a televised media report on the carcinogenic French breast implants scare.

Apparently the headless chicken cancer panic has resulted in some 30,000 split-arsed Frogs rushing off to have their ‘PIP’ Pound Stretcher boob job prostheses removed before they rupture during a rampant session of tit-mashing sexual foreplay and leak their toxic industrial silicone / tyre inflator filler to mingle freely with the recipient’s DNA, resulting in an outbreak of festering tumours.

Lady Fellattia Mingerot, the official Buckingham Palace spokeswoman, informed press hacks that the ill-mannered 120-year old Greek scrounger had undergone a minimally invasive surgical procedure to remove the pair of now-condemned ‘Poly Implant Prothese’ – installed two years ago to enhance his sagging ‘man tits’.

“The Prince is now recovering and almost back to being his normal rude self – insulting the foreign nurses, calling his doctor an ‘infidel kaffir’ – and threatening to be reincarnated as a deadly virus and wipe out all the ‘useless eaters’. He cheered up a bit after lunch – although complained that his kebabs were not as good as the ones he gets from Kosta’s Hellenic chew and spew take-away in Battersea Park.”
“He will be checking out tomorrow and travelling to Sandringham to spent Christmas with the rest of the Royal Family, and is expected to take part in the traditional Yuletide ‘Peasant Bashing’ horseback chase on Boxing Day.”

This is the second such psychological distress incident suffered by the Prince in recent weeks – the first when his Winter Fuel Allowance giro failed to arrive on schedule – and then upon eventual receipt discovered it had been hit with a £50 quid reduction under Tory Chancellor George Osborne’s austerity measures.

Prince Philip was hospitalised earlier this year at the prestigious Harold Shipman Centre for Excellence in Health Care after a sense of humour transplant rejected him – a condition further complicated by the Royal’s fetish addiction for guacamole enemas which had left him chronically constipated – or as the red top tabloid gutter press described it with a fitting graphic banner headline at the time: “Phi the Greek Full of Shit”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Xmas Skewed News Roundup

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Sectarian clashes broke out in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve between the occupied West Bank’s Palestinian Authority officials and agents of Israel’s Ministry of Expropriation – backed up by the IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade thugs.

Apparently the disturbance centred around the lucrative collection of ‘tributes’ paid by foreign pilgrims and tourists visiting the Church of the Nativity – the speculated ‘manky manger’ birthplace of Christ – with Rabbi Sheldon Scumbaum leading the affray and declaring to one press hack from the Chosen People’s Gazette that “Jesus was born a kike to a Jewish mother and would have supported the Zionist state of Israel – so the collection money belongs to us.”
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In his annual Urbi et Orbi speech to the crowds of gullible sheeple gathered in the Vatican’s St Peter’s Square last night, Pope Benny, the Mk XVI German ‘Ratflinger’ built-to-last model, last night went into total hypocrisy mode, condemning Christmas as being ‘commercialised – totally missing the point that his own Roman Catholic church has spent great industry and effort over the past 2000 years commercialising the very ‘religion’ that remains their lucrative bread and butter.

The ex-Nazi Pontiff, shuffling along on a Zimmer frame - and wearing his customary fishtail hat to amuse the children – plus being adorned in gold vestments to fully compound the hypocrisy - urged worshippers to see through the superficial glitter and discover the joys of emptying their wallets into the offertory plates.
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At the Old Bailey on Friday - in a pre-Christmas ‘Triple-S’ surprise sentencing special - an unemployed homeless person who pushed a top ranking HSBC bankster under a Tube train in central London last October has been cleared of murder - but found guilty of fly tipping – a lesser offence.

It is expected that upon appeal this verdict will be overturned and one of ‘justifiable homicide’ returned.
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A Boxing Day strike by London Underground Tube drivers is set to go ahead after a High Court judge refused to halt it.

Aslef, the union representing the Tube drivers, are demanding quadruple pay and two days off in lieu for working over the Christmas bank holiday.

Mr Justice Numpty refused to grant an injunction halting the 24 hour strike as he personally couldn’t give a flying shit if the tube trains ran or not - and in his opinion everyone should stay home at Christmas and play with their new toys.
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13470731

One of the world's largest insurance companies has organised a Christmas party orgy with prostitutes for its top salesmen at Berlin’s notorious Tekem Orloff Lap Dancing bar and strip joint - rumoured to be owned by the Ukranian mafia.

Dildo-Staffel, a division of the German underwriting firm Munich Humpers, candidly confirmed that the party took place.

Gerhard Schnitcher, an investigative journalist for the media organisation Deutsche Grassup, told the BBC 2's Scandal Hour programme: "There was plenty of alcohol and 20 naked prostitutes on hand."

"They had colour-coded arm-bands, apparently. Turquoise for second-hand virgins - black for BD/SM Dominatrices - and red for the old toothless ‘suck n swallow’ blowjob slags - with white ribbon bands identifying the three-hole whores that had a genuine up-to-date VD/HIV clearance certificate – and who were all reserved for top management."
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Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 24 December 2011

Scameron Pledges Problem Family Action

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Libservative coalition PM, Posh Dave Scameron, has tasked the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money and the House of Conmans ‘What Can We Fuck With Next’ select committee with a joint venture project to finally sort out the worst of Broken Britain’s ‘problem families’ – with the immigrant ‘Wicked Windsors’ still topping the shit list in number one place for the Nth decade running over their continued abuse of pomp, circumstance and privilege.

A network of ‘Troubled Families’ teams will be given responsibility for locating and co-ordinating help for delinquent household units facing multiple challenges such as a disproportionate sense of personal entitlement and benefit privileges, a delusional ‘divine right’ propensity for land-grabbing, chronic unemployment – and congenital insanity issues caused by swimming for too long at the shallow end of the gene pool – aggravated through generations of interbreeding with their mongrelised regal blood relatives.

Speaking to one press hack from the Benefit Scroungers Gazette, Scameron declared he wanted to see leadership at the top – with action encompassing the entire social spectrum via local authority councils to tackle the problem – and turn around the lives of 120,000 dysfunctional families by 2050.
To this end he was placing DWP Minister Iain Duncan Smith in charge of making a primary case in point of the sponging Windsor clan to act as an example to all that being a bunch of social parasites, living off the backs of others, is not acceptable in polite society.

The Cabinet’s Behavioural Insight Team - aka the ‘Nudge Unit’ - have modelled this flawed strategy on the family intervention project adopted by Tony Bliar’s New Labour government in which a single social worker was sent on a suicide mission to gain an overview of the problems facing a family living on a sink or swim council housing estate - and to recommend the best course of action: get the lot on an AA rehab’ programme - or throw them in prison - or let them starve.

In the case of the elitist Windsor pariahs, who apparently have a family tree history of unemployment and milking welfare benefits that goes back a couple of centuries, Duncan-Smith related that “These sponging bastards have taken the taxpaying public for billions – so I intend to make them a one-off settlement of £448 million quid to move out and go back to where they came from – Germany and Greece.”

“For Christ’s sake, they’ve got Buckingham Palace through the social housing scheme – with the rent and council tax paid – then my DWP staff discovered they have a second home up in Scotland at Balmoral. Talk about Benefits Britain and bleeding the welfare state dry – these people have been getting away with blue bloody murder and taking the cream off the jug every time.”

“Plus what is getting right up the noses of the public is the fact they’re all a bunch of bloody immigrants too. The old lady, Lizzie – the one who wears that silly crown and wanders around waving at the peasants, is a Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Kraut. Let’s not forget Mr Virus Man either – her sponging Greek git of a husband Philip Schlewig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Gluckburg – he might well go round wearing that Admiral’s Royal Navy jacket he got from Oxfam, but he’s been on the dole since Louis Mountbatten sneaked him into the country in the late 1930’s to keep him away from his Nazi friends in Europe.”

“Then you have their eldest lad Chazzer, the nutty one with the wingnut ears who’s just like his idle-arsed father – never done an honest day’s work in his life – and another suitable case for treatment who has his non-occupation on the Jobseekers Allowance form listed as a Plant Whisperer, for God’s sake.”

“Chazzer’s influence-peddling little shit of a brother, Andrew – we caught him out claiming benefits and disability allowance while he was working cash-in-hand for a bunch of arms dealers – bloody cheek. The sister, Anne, she’s another one who thinks she can get away with pulling a fast one on us – and we find out she’s got her own horses and stables – all funded out of her benefit fiddles.”
“As to the youngest lad, Edward – well, he definitely is a hopeless case, lacking the brain power to shit straight and wipe his own arse. The only thing they’ll trust him with is going out to fetch a bucket of coal and take the corgis for a walk.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 23 December 2011

Mulholland’s Lockerbie Hypocrisy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

To mark the 23rd anniversary of the Pan-Am Flight 103 bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland, a somewhat morbid round of memorial services are being staged by the good ole US of A to remind everyone and their dog – yet again - what a bad set of bastards the followers of Islam really are – and provide a fresh boost of support for the never-ending war on terrorism.

Speaking from his imminent deathbed at Tripoli’s St Shylocks Hospital for Latter Day Stooges, Lockerbie bombing suspect and fall guy Mohammed al Patsy has given what he described to media hacks yesterday as his ‘last of the last’ interviews - and again denied any involvement in the 1988 plot to blow up Flight 103 and the team of CIA snitch and grasser agents who were on board.

Diagnosed as stricken with Galloping Prostate Rot – a virulent form of terminal cancer - Mr al Patsy was released from Scotland’s Grassy Knoll top security prison on compassionate grounds in 2009 and returned to Libya to fester and croak at home.

While al Patsy and his suspected cohort Wormhole bin Jaffacake had a long history of involvement in black operations, and were bollocks deep in drug trans-shipments from the Middle East via Europe, and onto the States, it was a simple matter to write them into the script of the Pan-Am Flight 103 purposeful sabotage scenario and claim they shipped a bomb rather than the suitcases of heroin from Syria and Lebanon.

Once again, when we have Wiley T. Coyote in cahoots with Wallace and Gromit planning these ‘amateurs posing as professionals’ style black op’s they have a tendency to be more full of holes than an Irish colander.

First off, with Pam Am Flight 103 we have a scenario so reminiscent of the Mossad false flag terror attacks on the WTC twin towers on 9/11 – when Israeli-related interests in New York were receiving texts, e-mails and Chinese whispers from a certain Freddy Fagin in Tel Aviv not to go anywhere near Manhattan on that fateful day – and sell short on United Airlines stock.

A partial list of US and South African officials who suddenly backed out of travelling on Pan-Am Flight 103 to New York on the 21st December 1988 were John McCarty, US ambassador; Steve Green, assistant administrator, office of intelligence DEA; Oliver Revell, son of Buck Revell, coincidentally FBI-head investigation for the Lockerbie case; John McCarty, US ambassador to Cyprus; Pik Botha, the former South African foreign minister; General Van Tonda, head of the South African Secret Service (BOSS) and Defence Minister General Mallon – plus Botha’s entire 22 head diplomatic delegation.

Conversely one group of the CIA’s own, a Middle East team who had knowledge of rogue CIA illegal drug and weapons operations, didn’t receive word of the covert “don’t fly!” alert . These were CIA agents Charles McKee, Matthew Kevin Gannon, Daniel Emmet O'Connor and Ronald Albert Lariviere – all of whom perished – as planned - in the explosion of Fight PA-103.

Chaz McKee and his team had a ‘conflict of interest’ bee in their proverbial bonnet concerning CIA weapons shipments to Syrian terrorists - along with supplies to Hezbollah and Hamas - as well as the large quantities of drugs the CIA was facilitating for shipment into Europe and the US to finance their black op’s.

Top brass at Langley had attempted to stonewall their demands for answers - as has been the case in several other documented instances involving drug operations with the military and the DEA - but to no avail.
Hence McKee’s team of seasoned field intelligence vet’s were, out of frustration, flying home of their own accord – and against orders - to present their documented evidence to Congress.

This posed such a substantial threat to the CIA’s black op’s team in the Middle East that it was decided to eliminate the problem before it reached US turf and blew the rogue CIA-Jolly Jihadi terrorist group weapons and drug smuggling ring wide open.

In an obnoxious Busby Berkeley pantomime display of political posturing and self-promotion, Scotland's new Lord Advocate, Frank ‘Three Chins’ Mulholland, has travelled to the US to show his porcine face at the Flight PA-103 memorial service and laid a wreath in remembrance of the victims.
Further to the above fiasco, the flabby Mulholland met FBI director Robert Mueller and US attorney general Eric Holder to discuss the ‘more scent than substance’ opportunities for stepping up the investigation in Libya into the bombing.

Full of his own exaggerated importance Mulholland informed press hacks "I think I would be failing in my duty if I didn't seek to take advantage of the opportunity that has opened up with the fall of Gaddafi regime – hence I am determined to get the answers about who else was involved with Mohammed al Patsy in the Lockerbie bombing – and if the evil Colonel Gaddafi was indeed the one who ordered it as he hated our democratic freedoms."

Quite agree there Frank – why not read the opening paragraphs of this blog for starters – steer you straight around the past media bullshit and put you on the right track.

Hey, maybe Frank does intend to up-end a can of worms the CIA want leaving undisturbed. Better you take a boat home – and definitely not fly, laddie.
Oh well, any effort is an improvement on no effort – and with a focus on hypocrisy, that’s a lot better than flatulent Frank’s doing back at home in bonny Scotland.

Since taking over his job at the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service as Lord Advocate from the departing corruption-smeared Elish Angiolini – Frank’s continued her insidious ‘Mired in Mendacity’ policy of ignoring / covering up the disgusting sexual abuse and serial rape pederast scandal surrounding the Ferryhill Freemasonic cabal of establishment elitist paedo’s – the Grampian Gropers - in Scotland’s kiddie fiddling and crime capital of Scaberdeen.

These local worthies have, for decades past - and continue to – prey on special needs children with impunity – and use their official influence to thwart and persecute – and if necessary murder – any fucker and their dog who would attempt to expose their perverted criminal activities.

So hopefully – or perhaps in conjunction with – his campaign to expose the CIA’s global black op’s and drug-running (and clear the maligned name of Mohammed al Patsy) – he’ll find time to kick start a long overdue investigation into the Hollie Greig ritual sexual abuse scandal and call a halt to this Machiavellian ‘Breach of the Peace’ prosecution (read ‘persecution’) vendetta being acted out in true Groundhog Day fashion at Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court against pilloried Sassenach Robert Green – the sole crusader of moral conscience expediting a humanitarian campaign and attempting to achieve justice for Hollie and her mother Anne.

Anyone wanting to wish Frank luck with his endeavours against the Scaberdeen Masonic Mafia can contact him on: ps_copfs@scotland.gsi.gov.uk
Go on, drop him a line – it is the Christmas and Hogmanay festive season, after all.
While you’re at it, drop one to Aileen Campbell, the Minister for Children and Young People – I’m sure in her official capacity she’d love to expose this den of paedo’s. Aileen.Campbell.msp@scottish.parliament.uk

You might even try to enlist Scotland's ‘Commissioner for Children and Young People’ – one Tam Baillie. inbox@sccyp.org.uk
And Gillian Wade too – as head of the National Sexual Crimes Unit (NSCU), based at the Crown Office in Edinburgh, Gilly’s got to be keen on investigating this gang’s criminal antics. gillian.wade@copfs.gsi.gov.uk

Let’s have the lot heading down to Scaberdeen at a full gallop, mud-splattered and high in oath - all out to put the cuffs on Sheriff Graeme Buchanan and his kiddie fiddling Tartan Tadger Masonic cohorts.

Thought for the day. Reflecting on Scotland’s Crown Prosecution Service and the Holyrood Parliament’s joint conspiratorial complicity regarding the inaction of investigating ‘with intent’ the Hollie Greig sexual abuse scandal, one calls to mind the words of John Locke, the 17th century ‘Age of Enlightenment’ English philosopher and empiricist – and founder of Liberalism - who observed that “Where the law ends, tyranny begins” – as is visibly evidenced by this Edinburgh and Scaberdeen based criminal cabal’s vendetta against Robert Green to ensure his silence and and continue to conceal the truth of the Scottish establishment’s tolerance of (and indulgence in) disgusting sexual perversions – specifically kiddie fiddling.

Links:

http://holliedemandsjustice-robertgreensblog.blogspot.com/

http://holliegreig.info/

http://www.sacl.org.uk/

http://www.firstfoot.com/scotchmyth/ssoemembers.htm

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 22 December 2011

Libservatives Think Wood Grows on Trees

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Zillions of hectares of Britain's woodlands are being covertly flogged off by the Forestry Commission as it struggles to deal with the draconic cuts to its annual operating budget and meet the ridiculous financial targets imposed by Chancellor George Osborne and the Libservative coalition government - who can afford to invade Libya and make a total fuck of their infrastructure with mega-bucks of high tech’ military ordnance but won’t cough up a few bob to maintain our ancient forests for today - and the youth of tomorrow.

A detailed inventory of our once-sceptred isles sylvan lands, sold off by the dodgy Forestry Commission’s directors - which was, to all intents and purposes, charged with protecting our arboraceous reserves for future generations - reveals that it has raked in millions from sales to private companies, most of which have no aesthetic interest in the dendrologic aspects of Mother Nature and whose commercial purpose for existence is the production of firewood and pulp for the manufacture of environmentally-friendly Kindle e-books.

Although the Tories’ ginger-mingin Environment Secretary, Caroline ‘Nannygate’ Spelman, she of the Desperate Dan chin and the type of moron who still thinks wood grows on trees, disingenuously claimed to have abandoned plans to sell off England's 258,000 hectares of state-owned woodland in February following the hue and cry from nature lovers - already one ‘greatly undervalued’ clandestine deal has gone ahead (in secret until the FC’s Frank Snitcher grassed them up) with the sale of the 712 acre David Kelly Memorial Woods in Oxfordshire for a measly £2.7 milion quid to the Sahara Forest Trading Company – along with Smegmadale’s iconic Grassy Knoll Park thrown in for an extra £50,000 nicker.

New Labour’s shadow Environment Secretary, Douglas Fir, informed one reporter from the Scandalmongers Gazette that “The Forestry Commission is a self-supporting entity that can easily run at a profit were it not for political appointees shoved in there to head the outfit – and who obey their Master’s voice when instructed by Spelman and her Tory cronies to flog off our historic woodlands for a fraction of their worth to party donors.”

Tree huggers and like-minded campaigners are complaining that commercial buyers have barred the public from their newly acquired woodlands, despite signing legally binding contracts stating they will preserve traditional Right to Roam access for ramblers, leaf-pressers and pine cone collecting aficionados - plus the legions of squirrel ticklers and sheep shaggers – which might once again come down to a repeat of the 1932 Mass Trespass ‘Battle of Kinder Scout’ Mexican standoff and butting heads with ‘Graball Enclosedland’ style corporate bosses to regain access.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No woodpeckers, squirrels, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals – otters, stoats or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of trees ended up at B & Q as decking planks.

Thought for the day: How can bears – or Ray Mears - continue to shit in the woods if they’re no more trees to provide a spot of privacy – and leaves for bum-wiping?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 21 December 2011

Riot-Related Arsonists to be Shot on Sight

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A radical review jointly undertaken by Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary, in conjunction with the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next, has concluded, after long minutes of protracted deliberations - and e-mail input from Flop Gear’s Jeremy ‘Gobshite’ Clarkson - that Broken Britain’s Plod Squads should be sanctioned to shoot – on sight - rioters displaying an inclination for a spot of arson – with that proviso to include anyone in possession of what appears to be a box of matches, lighting up a rollie or a bifta – or caught in possession of a Molotov cocktail with an octane content of more than 75% ABV.

The review found that police training, equipment and organisation were developed largely to deal with set-piece single site confrontations, and not prepared for the widespread, fast-moving and opportunistic tactics employed by the ‘young, upwardly mobile’ protesters last August who, unlike the police, were generally composed of ranks of street smart, intelligent radicals, all able to think on their feet - and not dependent on radio orders from some faceless ranking uniform in the Plod Squad Fuhrer bunker.

According to the Met’s iconic Bully Boy Handbook, officers need to be mob-handed and outnumber rioters by between three and five to one if they are to effectively move forward and make arrests – and not get their own arses kicked in the process. Hence to sharpen up the odds in the police’s favour, a technological edge is required – and with light sabres still being the stuff of Star Wars fantasy, then guns would be the preferred medium of advantage.

Thus, applying subjunctive retrospect and 20/20 hindsight, the review concluded that the use of firearms would be justified given the immediacy of the risk and gravity of possible consequences - if the unemployed Bolshie bastard protesters currently comprising the ranks of the ‘We are the 99%’ get tired of sitting on their arses and ‘Occupying’ some insignificant public edifice – such as the Cottagers Heath public toilets - and decide to target high value commercial properties belonging to the City of London Corporation, or the Freemasons, or some panjandrum council chief’s theme park – or a few banksters’ mansions – or, Heaven forbid, the Royal Family – or the House of Conmans.

Such a ‘domestic terrorism’ scenario response would therefore, to the stagnated intellects of these self-proclaimed elitists now running Broken Britain, be warranted to protect their property from the rage of the disaffected and marginalised common peasantry – the lowly hewers of water and firewood – those that society’s crème de le crème (the Tories) regard with utter and visible contempt.

So that’s the powers-that-be game plan – done and dusted – kit the police out with firearms and live ammo – and shoot would-be arsonists in front of their families. Thank you, Jeremy.

Whoa! Let’s just take a cautious and reflective step back here. Kitting your regular pigshit-thick Plod Squad morons out with handguns and Black Talon ‘scally-stopper’ bullets? Oh no – for fuck’s sake – it was the misuse of guns by the Met’s trigger-happy Shoot First Squad that caused the Tottenham riots in the first place! Bad boy Mark Duggan - targeted for extra-judicial termination and illegally killed (read ‘murdered’) in a one-sided shoot-out.

“Oh yeah, right - he had a gun – we found it 20 meters away from the minicab on the other side of a garden fence – which is where he must have chucked it after he shot PC Dildo’s radio then obliterating all traces of his blood, fingerprints and DNA on the weapon. Sounds reasonable – the Independent Police Coverups Commission will no doubt swallow that one whole” – and did – hook, line and sinker.

Fortunately the canny public, primed to detect a set-up after watching years of CSI repeats, didn’t and smelled a rat from day one – especially after the murder crime scene witnesses reported seeing one plod tossing a handgun over the afore-mentioned garden fence.

The IPCC’s bungling besides, the review maintains that the UK’s Plod Squads need to be better prepared, trained in the ‘rules of engagement’ and ready to fulfil their primary purpose for existence and protect the establishment’s property.
Thus the government are pushing to improve on last August’s pathetic response to violence and looting, when in the New Year socio-economic hardships and tensions, currently building up at a geometric rate, reach a critical mass state and erupt once again into a nation-wide display of civil disobedience which could rapidly become a ‘circus without a tent’ scenario of further riots.

To combat this predicted eventuality, the Met’s Territorial Support Group’s Thug Squad are currently undergoing Taser deployment drills - plus water cannon training - with the use of hose pipes in Scotland Yard’s car park until the actual £1 million quid apiece ‘real thing’ arrives.
However, following a bout of incidents involving severe electric shock trauma being suffered by officers it has now been mandated that further Taser training will be undertaken indoors and not while stood in puddles or handling hose pipes.

Ms Candida Mingerot, head of the House of Conmans Home Affairs Select Committee, today commented to one press hack from the Fubar Gazette that “Water cannons are a good option to protect vulnerable areas and premises – especially if they’ve been set on fire - but I concede they need to be deployed in pairs to be effective and make sure protesters – or rioters - get really wet."

“Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that the police response to last August’s riots was a total clusterfuck – amateurs posing as professionals. But it’s hard to justify mobilising the military to deal with a public disorder situation – especially as most of them would have to be flown back from Afghanistan on short notice and doubtless arrive jetlagged and good for nothing – apart from going to sleep – and we already have the numpty plods doing that.”

“I suppose the Territorial Army could be used to take over logistical roles to free police officers for public order duties – but conversely that’s precisely the role for which our traffic wardens were promoted to form the ranks of these ubiquitous and officious jobsworth Community Enforcement Officers we now have infesting our neighbourhoods, is it not? And all bestowed with Stasi-like powers and licensed to kick in front doors and search private properties for evidence of subversive activities – such as dumping recyclable garbage in the wrong coloured wheelie bin as they spot-fined my Mother £60 quid for last week.”

At the opposite end of the socio-political spectrum Frank McSkanger, the director of ScumWatch, a volunteer group of whistle-blowing snitches tasked with scrutinising government abuses, opined to the media that “Well, fuckin’ well – so apart from being economically fucked wiv a large capital F, Broken Britain’s about ter go right over the top by sanctionin’ the imbecilic Plod Squad morons ter shoot on sight any fucker an’ their dog wot resembles an arsonist.”

“For fuck’s sake, we can’t even trust them with Asp telescopic batons cos they go inter homicidal thug mode and beat innocent passer-by news vendors ter death – live on camera – like wot that PC Simon Harwood twat did ter Ian Tomlinson at the 2009 G20 demo’. A real April Fool’s Day all round that woz indeed.”

“Really, wot the fuck’s next? If we didn’t have enough wiv MI5’s psycho security forces suicidin’ the UK’s top weapons inspector fer tellin’ the truth, then blowin’ up London’s underground tube trains on 7/7 an’ blamin’ it on Mohammed al Patsy an’ his mates Larry, Shep and Mo' from Leeds – then multi-tappin’ a Brazilian electrician on his effin’ way ter change out a blown fuse at the local tannin’ parlour – just cos he looked ‘a bit Muslim-ish’, I ask yer.”

“Now the intent is ter use the August riots as a qualifyin’ factor excuse fer bestowin’ these hoodlums in uniform wiv the divine right ter shoot people on sight – an’ that’s the catalyst fer creatin’ a state of ‘impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’: ‘impunity always leads to greater crimes’.”
“But that’s the New World Order agenda isn’t it, eh, This is wot the powers that be have bin ordered ter do – elbow out democracy fer technocracy – and usher in it’s bed partner fascism, right alongside it. They want the creation an’ maintenance of a dysfunctional society – an’ the wholesale disruption of British society is toppin' that agenda.”

“They might well be spoutin’ off that the use of rubber bullets an’ baton rounds an’ CS gas an’ water cannons worked ter great effect ter control an’ counter civil unrest in Northern Ireland - but that woz a militarised operation."
"An’ here yer see the truth in wot this effin’ Libservative government want - a state of military confrontation wiv their own citizens ter usher in their Big Brother martial law state like the Yanks have wiv their Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention bill an’ the National Defense Authorization Act.”

“Wot it comes down ter is this: the government need ter solve Britain’s socio-economic problems an’ create some effin’ jobs then if every fucker’s in work yer won’t get any Oppositional Defiance Disorder riots or lootin’ or arson.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 20 December 2011

Ali G’s Manor Gets Snobby Re-Name

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Surrey township of Staines – aka Linoville – is to be re-branded as Staines-upon-Thames in a pathetic and fatally-flawed bid to give the dump ‘tourist appeal’ – under the faulty reasoning by town council leader Alderman Frank Dorkbury that “Well, it worked for the Polacks with Auschwitz so it might do here as well – and don’t forget, we are part of the Surrey stockbroker belt.”

With the main topic on the agenda at an extraordinary meeting of the borough council’s Committee for Wasting Time & Money last week being ‘Renewal’ - councillors voted in favour to change the town's name to Staines-upon-Thames, with the aim of promoting its riverside location and boosting the flagging economy.

To achieve this end they have further sanctioned the expenditure of tens of thousands of pounds in council taxes to be squandered on the staging of a spectacular Busby Berkeley style ceremony to mark the official renaming at the annual May Day celebration next year in which the May Queen (normally a second-hand virgin) is ritually drowned in the Thames as a sacrifice to the (as of lately absent) gods of capitalist commerce.

Staines councillors have been acutely sensitive concerning the town's negative image in the past mainly due fictitious resident of the ‘West Staines Massiv’ Ali G referring to the place as ‘the next thing on the deprived scale to a Third World landfill site’ – and ‘the dungheap God chucked over his shoulder then forgot about’.

Councillor Bev Titwank recently hit out at toxic media reports following a statement by the local indie band ‘No Shit’ which classified Staines as ‘not so much a ghost town – just a fuckin’ dump’.

Speaking to gutter press reporters Ms Titwank admitted “I know we’ve had problems with attracting not only start up business ventures but also shoppers due our lack of modern malls and entertainment facilities. However there’s always Staines Football Club – and while we did get a disappointing result in today’s match due Larry the goalkeeper being asthmatic and not so quick on his legs since his hip replacement op’ – last week we copped for that hard-earned draw against the Henshawe Blind Institute’s league-topping first team.”

Soccer disasters and council chamber ire besides, it is an established fact that Staines only claim to fame was as the site of Frank Walton’s 19th century lino factory – long ago shut down in the Thatcherite era campaign of de-industrialising Britain so as to piss the unions off and achieve the nation’s current ‘Broken’ status.

However, there to commemorate Walton’s cheap floor covering empire is a conspicuously gaudy bronze statue in the High Street of two blokes ignoring all HSE manual handling regulations while wrestling with a roll of lino and looking like they’re both going to be ringing in sick the next day with hernia problems (especially with a ‘bronze’ roll of lino being ten times the weight of the real thing).

Conversely, regardless of the borough council’s enthusiasm for the re-naming, members of the younger generation are more critical.
Baz McScrote, a 16-year old unemployed apprentice skateboard mechanic, opined to one press hack from the Vulgarians Gazette "That is so effin’ sad – the attempt to make Staines sound more posh than it is. Where the fuck did I put my barf bag?"

Fellattia Mingerot, a 17-year old mother of three, told the media “Wot a waste of fuckin’ money by our dog-wankin’ council. It’s absurd an’ all a bunch of pretentious bullshit cos people are still gonna call it Staines – even if it is in effin’ Surrey. Why don’t they just re-name it Booyakashaville’?”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Bankster Bailout Bill to be Scrapped

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the Libservative coalition’s Business Secretary Vince Cobblers, proclaimed from up on high this past weekend, states for the public record that the Independent Commission on Banking report’s conclusions and recommendations, researched and compiled by Sir John Vickers, will be enacted in toto – with Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown’s 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill – (later amended by the Tories to become the Bankster Bailout & Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010) – ditched along with the bathwater, baby and all.

Alas the sad – and too perplexing – news is that the statutes will not be in force until 2019 – another eight years hence. Que? Hello - WTF? If it was another piece of post false flag Big Brother anti-terrorist legislation like the 7/7 Mohammed al Patsy fiasco, to lock up some hapless twats sporting a sun tan and in possession of mosque membership cards and an A300 flight manual then it would be passed into law and enacted tomorrow – never mind eight fucking years down the road.

Hence, we are thus inclined to believe the semi-substantiated rumours that the big banks have been working flat out like a lizard drinking - lobbying the Tory Chancellor, Georgie Osborne, to have him dilute Vickers’ hard-arsed banking reforms down to a truly homeopathic ‘one part per zillion’ level – or delay their enforcement until Hades freezes over – both factors that now bear an undeniable quality of verisimilitude.

Well, ‘tis the very fabric that conspiracy theories are woven from – and a sure fire fact that senior banksters acting on behalf of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s interests have met with Osborne and / or his ginger-mingin assistant Danny ‘The Rodent’ Alexander more times than enough since Vickers published his damning landmark ‘Ream the Banksters’ report in September – and it wasn’t to discuss the fucking weather.

Apparently the wholly incompetent Financial Services Authority is carrying out a half-arsed investigation into unsubstantiated reports concerning a clandestine meeting between the Commercial Secretary to the Treasury – the-now ‘Vermin in Ermine’ Lord Ja’akoff Baboon – (himself a former investment banker for the SG Warburg group) – and Mr Wormhole Jaffacake, the vice-chairman of Barclays - in October at Soho’s notorious Takem Orloff Lapdancing Club.

Frank McSkanger, the director of the ScumWatch public office abuse charity opined to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker “It’s just the effin’ same as when that prick Andy Coulson woz in Downin’ Street openin’ the access hatch fer the Mudrock’s media whores – an’ that other influence peddlin’ Adam Qwerty mate of Liam Pox’s at Defence. All a bunch of jukebox politicians – stick a few bob in an’ they’ll play any fuckin’ tune yer want.”

Whistle-blowing Treasury moles working for the snitch and grassers watchdog Ox-Rat have revealed that in a fit of infantile dummy-spitting pique, the bankster bosses of the largest offenders – the gambling addicts running Barclays, Lloyds, HSBC and the Royal Bank of Scumland, have warned the Treasury mandarins that the Vickers’ reforms, if enforced in their current concentrated state, could harm the economy even more than the bankster’s customary incompetence in matters fiscal - and have threatened to move their headquarters out of Britain to pastures new – and tax-free – such as Liberia - in a pathetic attempt to generate government sympathy*** and concessions for their long overdue censured predicament. (*** sympathy – a word found in the dictionary right between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’).

So the top rank banksters, infected with the highly contagious 'Greedy Bastards' cognitive dissonance syndrome, are fighting furiously behind the scenes for the very survival of their obnoxious ‘win or lose’ mega-bucks performance bonus culture - and to limit, if not actually abrogate, any and all negative changes to their current criminal modus operandi of usurious Debtocracy.

This Rothshite Shylock controlled cabal of shulhani and neshekers are backs to the wall and hell bent on thwarting the Government's plans to implement Vickers’ draconic recommendations and overhaul the capitalist system – one currently based on the fatally-flawed principle of fractional reserve lending and granting 125% mortgage loans to punters on the off chance the recipient will win the Lotto jackpot at some point in the future and pay off the principle - as well as shedloads of rapacious interest.

Sir John Vickers’ commission recommended that with the City’s money lending and counting house institutions currently operating with a financial stability mechanism that is as reliable and balanced as a paraplegic meerkat on a pogo stick, they should henceforth be required to ring fence their high street banking operations away from the condemned casino ‘money to burn’ derivatives and ‘credit default’ speculations - and the defective loan-swap investment operations.

Such a mandate is intended to eliminate the necessity of the hapless British taxpayers being forced to rescue them yet again – with the added proviso that if they refuse to conform then the Darwinian-Reykjavik doctrine of survival of the fittest should be applied to all troubled and insolvent bankster institutions – and let them go under like a concrete duck.

Thought for the day. In a world where the pursuit of personal ambition and material wealth over all else has become a religious catechism, then the sheeple, bolstered by the human nature factor of selfish greed surpassing any semblance of Biblical virtue, are intoxicated with illusions from the earliest stages of their youth.
Regardless, fuck the Rothshite’s bankster crime syndicate and their corrupt politico muppets – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 19 December 2011

Harassed in Hebron: Life Under the Jackboot

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Yep, that’s the banner headline: Harassed in Hebron - a life of subjugated repression under the rogue Israeli regime’s ZioNazi military state jackboot as the Christmas Season of Festive Goodwill to all Men on Earth draws near.
And following the worst of shitty Shylock ‘schadenfreude’ traditions, Hebron has been bestowed with the whole schlemiel too.

Curfews, checkpoints, land confiscation, home demolitions, a constant rain of harassment and gratuitous violence from IDF troops and illegal settlers – plus a host of other insidious aspects provided by the Zionist’s criminal annexation of the misappropriated lands all add to the fun and games of a Palestinian’s daily struggle for survival in the rapidly-diminishing postage stamp sized West Bank.

And the undying ignominy of this felonious occupation that has worn Palestinian patience and dignity to the point of violent reaction bears the official imprimatur of PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and his fellow ‘Jews of convenience’ Satan worshippers that avoid the synagogue like the plague yet compose the ranks of the corruption-ridden Israeli Knesset and arrogantly declare themselves to be the Rothshite chosen elite - the ‘crème de la crème’ of Israeli society and the ‘Jewish state’ - yet are diametrically opposed to any and all of the more magnanimous teachings and principles of the Pentateuch / Torah.

These Khazar-Ashkenazi impostors make us sick with their hypocrisy - promoting their aggressive Israeli unilateralism while waving the Māḡēn Dāwīḏ and their ubiquitous Holohoax banners and howling ‘anti-Semitism’ at every instance of stricture or criticism directed at their disgusting treatment and human rights abuses of the Palestinian population of the usurped state of ‘Palestine’.

Yes Palestine – the country they stole from the rightful Muslim Semite owners in the 1948 Yawn an-Nakbha (Day of the Catastrophe) when kikester terrorist groups, comprised of the refugee scum of post-war Europe and Russian, drove out the Palestinian people and, applying rhetoric over common sense and logic, declared it was their Manifest Destiny – as God’s ‘Chosen People’ (legitimised as their Promised Land by a 1917 memo from the batshit crazy Lord Balfour to Baron Rothshite – the next best thing to an actual divine Deity / Jehovah) to establish the outlaw state of Israel on someone else’s property - and world opinion be damned.

So, back to the daily sufferance of the marginalised population of Hebron - and specifically the plight of the schoolchildren – suffering under the despotic iron fist of the IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade bully boy psychos and the unprovoked aggressions of illegal Zionist settlers - plus the Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squads who make great industry of the slaughter of innocent Palestinian civilians.

Hebron’s Qurduba School has once again become a target for harassment by the IDF’s homicidal thugs, as new restrictions on freedom of movement bring a wave of vicious settler attacks and military violence.
To reach school each morning, pupils between the ages of 6 and 13 - and too their female teachers - must navigate a maze of checkpoints and dangerous rabid settler-inhabited streets and endure a stream of constant physical and psychological assaults.

Since 2005, teachers and pupils attending the Qudruba School coming into the Israeli-controlled Old City had secured the right, through demonstrations, to bypass the daily metal detector scans and bag inspections at the checkpoint. Instead, they were able to pass through a side gate to reach their school.

However, in a typical display of kikester vindictiveness, on the 11th October the local IDF commander, a psycho meshuggenah named Major Sheldon Scattstein, revoked this right for no reason.
In response to this injustice, teachers refused to submit to inspection, and held a demonstration with more than one hundred of their students, who left their empty classrooms to join the teaching staff at the checkpoint which, following a typical demonstration of brutality by the IDF’s homicidal maniacs, nine of the pre-teen children ended up in hospital with injuries.

The brutal repression of that October checkpoint protest struck a chord in the Hebron community and inspired an outburst of support in a city all too accustomed to violations of the right to freedom of movement.
Over the next two days, community members and representatives from the Hebron governor’s office, along with the director of education in Hebron, stood in solidarity outside of the checkpoint with the students and teachers of the Qurduba School, who held the school day’s lessons outside of the checkpoint.

On the third day of demonstrations, IDF soldiers projected the high-LRAD sound cannon, nicknamed "the Supersonic Screamer," to burst the protester’s ear drums – then fired rounds of tear gas to forcibly scatter the crowd – dragging scores of teachers and pupils off to jail in the aftermath.

A recent report circulated by the Ox-Rat and Amnesty human rights and wrongs charity groups cites the testimony of Raghad Hashim Younis al-Azza, a ten-year-old student of the Qurtuba School, originally published in the Pound of Flesh Gazette.
"In Novermber I was going to school with a bunch of my classmates and came round the corner of the St Shylock Temple for Latter Day Kikesters when we saw Freddy and Felix – the Fagin twins - across the street, outside the entrance to our school – daubing the wall with graffiti that read “Jabotinskyism Rules!” and "Gas the Arabs! - Jewish Defence League." (obviously an idea picked up from Hitler’s lads during the Holohoax).

“When we shouted at them, they called a gang of their mates who attacked us with stones while the IDF troops watched – laughing. Then when some of our male classmates ran out of the school playground to defend us and started throwing stones back at them, the soldiers fired baton rounds at us and one hit my friend Abrar on the head.”

“We all ran screaming into the school and told our teachers who came to the assistance of Abrar but her body had gone and the soldiers said she had been taken to the hospital. But later her mother went there and was told her daughter had been killed – and when she claimed the body from the mortuary it had been cut right open and stitched back up again – and her heart, liver and kidneys stolen for the IDF’s criminal black market transplant organs trade.”

Thought for the day. The tactics of the Israelis and their strategically-invested Western government / media lobbies plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency - and include character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record and the fabrication of falsehoods - plus an utter disregard for the truth.

The chauvinist cult of Zionism and the existence of the illegal rogue state of Israel cannot be defended - ethically, morally or intellectually – and the only thing missing from over the IDF checkpoints in the West Bank and Gaza Strip is a fucking swastika and an ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ sign.

Regardless, bollocks to the Rothshite bankster’s crime syndicate base and their New World Order.

A word to the wise for these ZioNazi scumbags – beware the Jaysh al-Usra and the Jaysh al-Hisbah and the coming Third Intifada.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ ultra-Zionist nutters and may contain traces of Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of kikester chutzpah and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tories Cop for Nazi Sympathies Scandal

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

During an interview with a press hack from the Fubar Gazette, the hapless Burley claimed he should have left the stag party earlier, prior to the erotic floorshow by Takem Orloff’s Stuttgart Strippers Revue, and not hung around enjoying himself, getting drunk, throwing Sieg Heil salutes and engaging in a risible session of black humour concentration camp jokes about the SS versus the Jews at the Auschwitz sports day.

Due the current brouhaha concerning the scandalous juvenile behaviour of Aidan Burley, the Tory MP for Cannock-on-the-Rhine, who attended a Nazi-themed stag party at the Vichy French Alpine ski resort of Klonkers - where the minimum wage pikey immigrant waiters had their forearms tattooed with profane German graffiti, and were then subjected to ridicule - and urinated on from a dizzy height by vulgarian Kraut guests pissing through the banquet hall’s balcony rails.

After photos and video footage of the hell-raising event were leaked to the Whistle Blowers Weekly and posted on Facebook and YouTube – which included Burley toasting Hitler and the Third Reich then snogging a pig dressed in a pink tutu and wearing an Angela Merkel mask - he was summarily sacked from his lucrative House of Conmans post as the PPAL (Personal Private Arse-Licker) to Transport Secretary Justine Greenfly.

Downing Street spokeswoman Fellattia Mingerot informed press hacks that ''Aidan has been a very wicked boy, wearing that silly Adolf style toothbrush moustache and a swastika armband – and then doing the goosestep to the tune of the Lambeth Walk. That’s why Posh Dave’s ordered his name entered into the Big Black Naughty Book.”

In relation to the afore-mentioned Burley faux pas and ensuing scandal, the paranoid-psychotic ex-FIA boss Max ‘Spankies’ Mosley has issued a press release denying he was present at the party and that his Gruppenfuhrer uniform is currently away at the dry cleaners having jizz stains removed.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 18 December 2011

UK Unemployment: Order into Chaos

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

One glance at the state of the UK’s unemployment crisis is enough to kick start any socio-political anarchist type into storming out of their state of complacency to oil the wheels of the tumbrels and put a shaving edge on the guillotine blade – then make ready to storm the ramparts of the over-privileged elitists and bring the entire corrupt ‘Debtocracy’ edifice of this crony capitalist government crashing down upon their treasonous skulls.

Broken Britain’s gone ‘down’ the tubes – yet conversely, in a total diametrically-opposed heading the jobless working class are ‘up’ shitcreek without a paddle. And why are we in this dire predicament we might well ask? Because to emasculate our insular self-sufficiency potential ready for EUSSR domination our once-sceptred isle’s entire paddle making industry was outsourced to fucking India and a host of other contemporary Third World landfill sites in the 1980’s by Slaggie Twatcher’s Tory administration and their self-immolation policy of de-industrialisation.

But of course the superbly arrogant Posh Dave Scameron, even though gifted with 20/20 hindsight when purveying the reasons for Britain’s demise as an industrial power and manufacturing colossus, will doubtless avoid acknowledging the blatant fact that his split-arsed predecessor, Slaggie Twatcher, that shot-up Grantham grocer’s daughter, was personally responsible for making a bollocks of British industry – plus being the causal ‘first draft’ author of our nation’s current socio-economic plight.

Though one is prompted to speculate who, in their profound ignorance, bestowed Twatcher – (the same parsimonious Tory bitch who scuttled the schoolkids’ free milk concession in 1971) – with the Prime Ministerial authority to give the unions the big finger and make a fuck of the UK’s iconic manufacturing cornucopia – and devastate the careers of tens of thousands of skilled engineers and artisans – and doom generations of youth to come to an existence of unemployment in a jobless - and skill-less - environment?

To wit, UK unemployment rose by 128,000 in the three months to October, to a gob-smacking 2.64 million - the highest level recorded since 1945 when the majority of British troops not required at the farthest reaches of the Empire to bang Bolshie native’s heads together and put down Independence movements were demobbed back in Blighty as there were no more nasty Nazis left to kill.

Respectively, in the same period, youth unemployment rose to 1.27 million, the highest since records began in 1066, beating the previous chart-topper set in the reign of William IV, when an age limit of 10 was imposed for hiring child chimney sweeps in 1834, casting legions of sooty little underage waifs and strays out of work and onto the streets to beg and starve – a shocking figure that the Office of National Statistics have since referred to as ‘an awful lot’.

Conversely the number of people out of collar and claiming Jobseeker's Allowance rose by a further 30,000 after November 5th when part-time recycling work on Bonfire Night fuel collections and Guy Fawkes impersonations ceased – yet the rate of increase in the claimant count has been displaying signs of slowing down as more unemployed peasants fail to qualify for benefits after completing the mandatory Stage 4 ‘Work or be Damned’ programme in a jobless wilderness and coming up empty-handed – thus can’t be arsed turning up at the Jobcentre to sign on every fortnight and get sweet fuck all in return for their efforts.

As Bev Titwank, a 16-year old mother of three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate told one Daily Shitraker gutter press hack outside the Scallyshawe Jobcentre this week: “Yer not gonna get any effin’ Jobseekers Allowance if there’s no fuckin’ jobs ter seek, now are yer, eh? Stands ter effin’ reason, don’t it. Yer don’t need a fuckin’ NVQ1 degree in Rocket Science ter work that one out. So it’s no effin’ wonder we’re all on drugs an’ binge drinkin’ an’ shit when yer trapped in this vicious cycle of joblessness, anxiety an’ depression."

“I woz down here at the Jobcentre last week coz I wanted ter use their phone ter call me mate in Albania wot got hitched ter this pikey swan poacher - an’ got me arse dragged in fer an ‘employment status review’ – an’ woz offered two weeks seasonal work as a turkey plucker’s mate fer £3 quid an hour. Well, it woz that or a job at Poundland as a Santa Claus – but yer had ter grow yer own beard. So I looked at this ‘personal counsellor’ bitch an’ sez “Are you takin’ the piss or wot?”
“That’s why I’m leavin’ the sprogs at me Mum’s an’ headin’ off inter town every night floggin’ me golly fer £200 quid a poke – an’ £50 nicker extra if yer want a round-the-world three hole suck an’ swallow job thrown in. All cash in hand an’ tax free too, thanks very much.”

However, pursuit of the second oldest profession besides, Broken Britain’s youth continues to bear the brunt of the lack of jobs in the UK - a problem shared by many other countries around the world – apart from West Africa where they can join up as ‘Child Soldiers’ with the local militia’s Popular Front Army as soon as they can walk, wipe their own arse – and learn to load and cock an AK47 assault rifle.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.