Plods Prepare for Peasants’ Revolt II

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A recently-leaked review of the ‘Stand Back & Do Nothing’ tactics employed by the UK’s Plod Squads to deal with the unprecedented social-political unrest and ‘Looters Delight’ riots which swept across Broken Britain last August following the premeditated illegal killing (read ‘murder’) of Tottenham bad boy Mark Duggan by the Met’s SO19 ‘Shoot First’ Armed Response Unit reveals that the UK’s police forces have now applied for a budget increase to fund the purchase of scores of water cannons to tackle the predicted 2012 nation-wide outbreaks of public disorder, kick started by continued government incompetence and the sheeple’s burgeoning economic plight.

The high pressure cannons, originally designed for descaling barnacles and associated sea growths from the hulls of ships in dry dock - and extinguishing BP’s oil rig blazes - have, with typical malice aforethought, been adopted by despotic Third World regimes to suppress and disperse marches by dissidents – and are currently being employed with great effect in Bahrain to rip the clothes – and skin - off Arab Spring socio-political reform demonstrators – plus wash away all blood splatter evidence of the police’s violent crackdowns.

Whistle-blowing snitches of conscience working inside Scotland Yard have leaked details to Ox-Rat, the human rights and wrongs abuse watchdog charity, that Met’ Commissioner Hulk ‘Scouse’ Hogan has initiated discussions with the Association of Chief Police Officers to go ahead with the purchase of three of the water cannons to be deployed around London and the South East in the event of further demonstrations and protests by the massed ranks of the common herd who become infected with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and adopt a tendency to graphically display their negative opinions of government policy via the riot, pillage and burn doctrine – as per violent extensions of the current pacific ‘Occupy’ protests by the great unwashed 99%.

Speaking with media hacks following the embarrassing expose by dissident elements inside his own organisation, Commissioner Hulk Hogan related “Personally I’d sooner it not come to street demo’s by having the option available to pre-empt these social aberrations by arresting likely anarchist types prior to the event on ‘Though Crime’ charges, same as we did to ensure Prince Willy and Kate Middleclass’s Royal Wedding went off without some Bloshie sods waving ‘Wills is the Anti-Christ’ banners and pissing on their special day bonfire.”

“Obviously anything these aggro-bent morons do is easy to track, as up to now they’ve been too thick to realise that we’re monitoring the Facebook and Twatter social networking websites – and too e-mails and cellphone chats and texts discussing their next nihilistic moves – and these are the best mass surveillance devices ever introduced and accepted whole-heartedly by the sheeple without a shot being fired.”

“That’s why I’m pushing the House of Conmans to amend the Police Reform & Social Responsibility Act and boost its powers to the same Orwellian Big Brother level as the new US ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ – and its ‘National Defence Authorization Act’ partner – then we can go out to detain and ‘disappear’ every fucker and their dog that dares say ‘Boo!’ to a goose – and habeas corpus be buggered in the defence of the realm.”

“In the meantime, until these moronic MPs in Parliament wake up to the fact we need to abolish critical thinking and impose martial law before the entire UK economy goes tits up and the only people left with jobs are the MPs and my Plod Squads, we’re going to have to fight fire with fire – well, with water actually – hence the plan to buy the high pressure cannons and increase the number of the Met’s officers trained to use baton round guns, Tasers and pepper spray – and stun grenades – and obviously avoid being filmed by some unpatriotic sod with a cellphone when they have to beat the odd alcoholic newsvendor to a pulp.”

“We’ve already placed an order for the cannons with Israel’s IWI supplier for the same units used by the IDF’s 18th Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Battalion. While we won’t be spiking our cannon truck’s water tanks with highly toxic cocktails of live salmonella and botulism viruses – or MRSA bacteria – or depleted uranium radioactive waste like the Israeli psychos do to spray Palestinian protesters, we might well adopt a strategy of adding an indelible purple dye to make it easier to round up the scallies involved post-demo.”

Hmmm, so much for Hulk Hogan’s public declaration regarding the abuse of civil liberties and the right to protest. As we saw with Hitler’s Nazis and now with the rogue state of Israel’s inhuman treatment of the marginalised Palestinians – and we’re going to see across the US and Canada very shortly following the traitorous duo of Barky Obama and Stevie Harper signing the totalitarian Beyond Borders Agreement into law (sic).
Ah well, as the old Latin adage quoted by the Roman political provocateur Epictetus (actually plagiarised from the Greek frondeur and barrel-dweller Diogenes) goes: ‘Impunitas sempre ad deteriora invitat’ – ‘Impunity always leads to greater crimes’.

Thought for the day. Due the systemic failure of the UK’s three party government structure, the establishment frowns on individuality – people who think for themselves – as they’re a threat to the ‘status quo’ order of things – and while they do pay lip service to the common herd, we are actually regarded with utter contempt.

Peaceful political activism is not a criminal offence that falls under the heading of ‘domestic terrorism’ - and the desire to participate in democratic decision-making ought not be a concern of a civil Plod Squad in any free society – even one that is infested with more CCTV cameras than street lights.

Herein lies a major reason for the state of Broken Britain – a national Plod Squad that, as an institution founded to protect the public, has been perverted from its original intended purpose and function so that it now criminalises peaceful political activists for their objections and dissent – while focusing an all-out effort on the preservation of the crooked capitalist system and safeguarding its infidel agents of Mammon and the properties of money-grubbing commerce.

Regardless of the Tory-dominated coalition pushing their EUSSR doctrine of Technocracy along with its inevitable and insidious bed partner, Fascism, onto us – and water cannons besides – never forget the classical lessons of 1789 and 1917: from little Anarchists do great Revolutions grow! For us to foresee the potentials of the oak tree within the acorn is what the control system fears.

Do they fear an army? No. What they fear are the Mohandas Gandhi’s, the Martin Luther-King’s, the Bob Marley’s, and the John Lennon’s. All those they’ve gone out of their way to assassinate. Those that promote a concept that, if nourished, will bring a timely end to global conflicts. Nothing holds a greater potential than an idea whose time has finally arrived. Cometh the hour, then cometh the man.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Zionist Freemasons and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.