Monday 31 October 2011

Labour Renamed ‘Conflict of Interest’ Party

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Britain’s old New Labour Party is now notorious in the annals of political infamy for telling mobs of porky pies, running up a pantomime catalogue of scandalous graft and corruption cases, misuse of political office by MPs, spicing up dodgy WMD dossiers, ordering the assisted suicides of weapons inspectors with a conscience, illegally invading Mid-East sovereign states - and conspiring to murder their own voters with the 7/7 false flag terror attacks on the London Underground tube train system – plus a double decker bus – just to demonise Muslims and Islam and move one step closer to their planned Big Brother panopticon surveillance state in the process.

So, to offset the ignominy rained down on their collective heads by the above index of abuses – crowned in the final death throes of their misrule by PM Gordon ‘Incompetence’ Broon re-inventing super-fudger Peter Scandalson as Vermin in Ermine and his Business Secretary – then referring to one pensioner as ‘a bigoted old twat’ – Labour’s stalwarts have been fighting a losing battle trying to re-brand the party after a star-crossed 13-year spell in government, mismanaging the affairs of our once-sceptred isle and achieving the current state of Broken Britain so adequately set in motion by Maggie Twatcher in the 1980’s.

During their party’s annual conference last month, the most memorable remark by its juvenile leader Ed Millipede was “I am not Tony Bliar – I don’t tell a porky every time my lips move. Super New Labour will be even more transparent than Posh Dave Scameron’s silly coalition – and purer than Caesar’s wife. Well, purer than that dumpy dwarf Hazel Blears – or Jacqui ‘Porno DVD’ Smith anyway.”

To the contrary, Millipede’s commitment doesn’t appear to have affected Labour’s hypocritical stance on Middle East policy as the ginger-mingin shadow Foreign Office minister, John Spellar has been exposed as having an especially incestuous relationship with London’s BICOM pro-Israel lobby – quite possibly through the nefarious web of Labour’s Friends of Israel Club.

Spellar’s Parliamentary declaration of interests reveals that he travelled to the Herzliya security conference in Israel last February – with airfare and accommodation paid for by Shylock Scumberg, a director of the British Israeli Research Centre (BICOM) – a lobbyist outfit dedicated to creating a more supportive environment for Israel in Britain – by suborning and corrupting British politicians to do its bidding and partake of Baron Ja’akoff Rothshite’s venal munificence – usually manifest as 30 pieces of silver.

So, anyone smell a conflict of interest rat around this pile of steaming excrement?
Will boy wonder Ed Millipede be putting his foot down with a firm hand and abolish the stigmatic Labour’s Friends of Israel Club? Will Hell freeze over? Will Shergar run in the next Grand National? Watch this space – but don’t hold your breath.

Obviously this man Spellar and his dodgy associates are working from a most sinister agenda that is wholly in conflict with the national welfare of Britain and too the socio-political views and will of the British voters whose interests he was elected to represent – to serve and defend.

Thus, while we’re confounded by the duplicitous Tory Party going against the national sentiment and ‘modifying / amending’ the Universal Jurisdiction law solely to facilitate Israeli war criminals visiting Britain with impunity - indemnified from being arrested for a catalogue of crimes that would have seen them found guilty and hanged at Nuremberg - and further ignoring the opinion of the UK public who whole-heartedly support the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign against the rogue, pariah state of Israel over their inhuman treatment of the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip - this Super New Labour gang – or certain members thereof – specifically the shadow cabinet member Spellar – seem to have their own pro-ZioNazi agenda that runs contrary to the wishes – and interests - of the British public.

Hence we pause to ponder and speculate how far the Israeli / Zionist vermin have infested our ‘hallowed’ (sic) halls of government to acquire a veneer of the legitimacy, and political spin – to positively propagandise this hypocritical beacon of Mid-East democracy that denies the entire Palestinian people their most elementary rights – after stealing the Holy Land from them in 1948. War criminals - that label isn’t even in it.

Hmmm, down the rabbit hole we go. MP Spellar’s Parliamentary researcher Linda Smith is the partner of BICOM staff member Luke Akehurst - an ex-arms industry spin doctor – with both serving as Super New Labour members of London’s Hackney Council. Ouch!

Spellar’s connection to Israel’s rogue regime raises hackles – especially so regarding the all-too recent controversial scandal involving Israeli meddling in the UK’s Mid-East foreign policy via the slimy Adam Qwerty - whose jet-set lifestyle was being bankrolled by three prosperous Zionists - which resulted in the resignation of his faggot boyfriend, Tory Liam Pox MP, as the Libservative Coalition’s Defence Minister.
To add to the calumny, alike Spellar, when Adam Qwerty attended the 2009 Herzilya conference, his expenses were also covered by BICOM.

Thought for the day: The Rothshite crime syndicate’s kikester stooges expend almost as much fiscally and effort-wise on the establishment and upkeep of internationally-based Zionist support groups and the promulgation of positive propaganda for the illegal rogue state than Israel’s racist, warmonger-infested Knesset do on building their Great Apartheid Walls around the illegally-occupied West Bank and the besieged Gaza Strip – now classified as the biggest concentration camps on the planet.

As to Labour’s man Spellar - the old maxim goes: “If treason doth prosper, none dare call it treason".

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 30 October 2011

Cat-Burgling MP’s Ex Gets Jail

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The wife of a Librarian-Dummercrat MP has been slapped with a twelve month hard labour jail sentence – on a chain gang in Dartmoor’s Marmite bogs - for stealing a manky moggy from the home of one of her adulterous spouse's motley collection of renta-fuck three-hole concubines.

Christine Lemming, 69, whose ponce of a husband, John ‘Six Chins’ Lemming, is the incumbent Lib-Dum MP for Smegmashire’s twinned Dogger’s Wood / Slutt’s Common constituency, was found guilty at Rutting Downs Crown Court of aggravated cat burglary last Friday.

Her fervent protestations of innocence and denials of guilt notwithstanding, Mrs Lemming was captured on CCTV footage removing Tiddles, the cat in question, from the Slutt’s Common home of her husband’s current paramour, Candida McSkank, on the 29th September last year.

Defending, Ms Sue Fleecem QC, of Upshot, Bagrot and Shitpot, told the court that Lemming pleaded not guilty to the actual burglary charge as she had no clear recollection of removing the cat from the house on Strumpet Street – possibly due omitting to take her prescribed medication and being extremely stressed out at the time owing to a chronic intravenous high octane cappuccino addiction - and her errant husband pissing off with yet another slapper with the moral standards of a sewer rat.

The court was further provided with a psychological evaluation and medical evidence of the accused being a woman of quite limited intellect who often encountered grievous memory problems associated with wiping her own arse and spelling her name correctly - and had suffered from a chronic case of Galloping Kleptomania since childhood.

Lemming stated for the record that she had gone round to the McSkank household to deliver a bundle of her husband’s mail, discovered the front door ajar and wandered inside – a fact supported by the CCTV footage – but had no recollection of carrying a 5 gallon jerry can of petrol with her and a pick axe shaft - nor of stealing the cat from the home of her priapic husband's nympho trollop – claiming she was stressed and had reached the end of her tether and quite possibly suffered a severe and protracted ‘blonde moment’ – regardless of being a brunette.

Over the duration of the three-day trial, the court heard how Mr Lemming and his wife had been involved in a complicated love triangle with Ms McSkank, who at the time of their first meeting, worked as a ‘rub and tug’ therapist at the town’s Happy Ending massage salon.

Mrs Lemming informed the court "It was an extremely stressful time for me as any woman in the same ‘reverse cuckold’ situation will realise – with my cunt of a husband unable keep his cock in his pants for more than two minutes at a time and off on yet another of his Viagra-fuelled rampant sexual escapades - and apt to shag anything with a hole.”

To emphasise this factor, defence attorney Ms Fleecem submitted a copy of the results of a Sunday Shitraker competition for Love Twat of the Year 2005 – in which Mr Lemming was awarded a joint first place with Latino crooner, Tony Berlusconi – brother of notorious under-age whore-monger and part-time Italian PM, Silvio Berlusconi.

Under cross-examination, Mrs Lemming revealed in one of her infrequent periods of lucidity that "I didn't realise the fucking cat was with me until I returned home and there it was in the back of the car. I simply assumed it had followed me out and jumped through the open window."

Lemming claimed to have driven back to Strumpet Street and put Tiddles over the garden fence of Ms McSkank’s next door neighbour - thinking the cat would find its way home – and denied accusations of stitching Tiddles inside a Pestco Greedy Grocer ‘Bag for Life’ along with three house bricks and dropping it into the canal that night – the same type of bag that was fished out of the Scumwater Canal by a locks operator later that week – containing the body of a drowned cat which the local Plod Squad identified as the missing tonk by the sub-dermal Verison microchip embedded in its neck.

Cornered by gutter press hacks after the trial, Mr Hemming, speaking in his own defence against public accusations of being the progenitor of the entire clusterfuck and unfit to act as an MP, opined that "I really don't think the stupid common herd vote for members of Parliament on their abilities to be role models of moral rectitude” - and denied reports he’d been ‘intimate’ with 26 mistresses while he was married – stating “That's not actually true – it’s closer to 35 – not including the short time pikey whores I’ve shagged from our local traveller’s camp site.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 29 October 2011

Retailers List Top Ten Toys for Xmas

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Top Ten Toys chart drawn up by the retail industry’s Shylock Profiteers Association features items ranging in price from a mere £19.99 to a staggering £890.00 – with the ‘Gotta Have’ dozen including Starbucks’ innovative Milky the Bunny, an interactive cuddly rabbit that wanks itself off and ejaculates condensed milk into your cappuccino or latte when you tickle its genitalia.

The toys were being showcased at the annual ‘Let’s Bankrupt Mum n Dad’ pre-Christmas event at Earls Court in London this week, with the SPA’s prediction of the festive season’s best-sellers being:

The ‘Hurt Locker’ inspired booby-trapped Hopscotch board (£28.99) – which is basically a high-tech digital rehash of the iconic IRA mine detector game - but comes with a flak jacket, bomb-proof boots and several genuine black pepper and bleach thermal explosive mix charges – as used by Muslim terrorists to blow up tube trains.

Coming in at a joint first place on every youngster’s wish list is the Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster paint gun from Japan, which uses actual radioactive Fuckupshima nuclear reactor glow-in-the-dark paintballs (£44.99). This little baby has a stack of optional extras and comes locked and loaded with depleted uranium ammo to level next door’s shed or the neighbour’s car - plus for another £5 quid on top you get the thermobaric explosive attachment to fry the entire neighbourhood – or your local school – for a shock n awe ‘Nerfageddon’.

Next on the top-sellers list is the Huntingdon Life Sciences all-new junior vivisectionist kit –which enables kids from 5 years onward to take their pets to pieces – hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits or Granny’s cat – and see what’s inside and really makes them tick. Just imagine the fun – knocking out that nasty ‘attitude problem’ Pitbull terrier from down the road with a shot of chloroform, then performing a ‘Jaws to Gums’ cosmetic conversion job by pulling all its teeth out with the kit’s Dento-Pliers. Complete with a pick n mix selection of miniature body bags and cardboard coffins (£120.55).

Anybody who’s been nagging Mum for a puppy might change their minds after cleaning up Doggy Doo (£24.99) – or Der Kackel Dackel as the hound’s known in Germany. This is a fun ‘roll the dice’ game for all the family – just watch as the greedy little pup gobbles up his yummy treats then shits all over the living room carpet - with the first player to scoop three piles of steaming crap being the winner.

Still as popular this year as last, the Fireman Sam Pontypandy Rescue Set (£29.99) is a top item on kid’s Xmas wish lists posted off to Santa Claus - that iconic old white bearded elf-fiddling paedo’ at the North Pole. The set includes Fireman Sam himself, a model Pontypandy town, Achmed the naughty Muslim arsonist from the Jolly Jihad Gang - bent on hellfire and conflagration as he hates the Pontypandy population’s democratic freedoms. The set includes a hose pipe and asbestos blanket, plus two litres of decaffeinated petrol and a box of matches (fire extinguisher refills extra).

The ‘Let's Rock Elmo’- Tourettes version (£69.99) is bound to be a sensation this holiday season. Sesame Street favourite Elmo has been an integral part of the British youth’s experience in growing up, teaching the alphabet and the corresponding phonetic sounds of each letter.
Now the 2011 Xmas edition is loaded with the latest profanity software with curses and swearwords to suit every social or schoolyard confrontation kids from 5 years upwards are likely to encounter in their daily lives. Tourettes Elmo contains an extensive vocabulary ranging from Arsehole to Zoophiliac – with Motherfucker placed perfectly in the middle – and is also available in several foreign language versions - including Arabic, Mandarin, Russian, French and Serbo-Croat.

A great innovation from Wimpey’s is the Moshling Tree House kit (£199.99). Starting off with a basic two-bedroom style flat pack build, this is a handy place to shack up when you all get evicted from your home by some shitbag building society or banksters as your Dad’s out of a job and can’t pay the mortgage. Recently touted to be the number one 2011 Xmas seller by Homeless magazine, this kit definitely presents a far superior option to living on a landfill site or a motorway bridge abutment. (Tree extra: Oak, Beech, Giant Redwood or Sequoia available).

Last but not least, for schoolgirls with a will of their own and a Dominatrix bent, there’s the Barbie and Ken BD/SM dungeon set, complete with bondage frames, hemp ropes, nipple clamps, cattle prod, whips, shackles, chains and leather fetish gear – with guaranteed ‘safe words’ included (£75.99). Touted a number one best-seller by Max Mosley and Formula One Perv’s magazine.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 28 October 2011

Conspicuous Numerology

Is the jinxed 27 member European Union set to join Amy Winehouse, Brian Jones, Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain as a member of the star-crossed Forever 27 Club?

Or will Greece be the first to get hoofed out, making it the '26 Club', with the fatally-flawed union spiralling on downwards like the Ten Little Indians tale – 25, 24, 23 – until there are none - as each member nation disappears up its own fiscal black hole of monumental indebtedness?

Tories to Scrap Unfair Dismissal Laws

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The heretical gospel according to a top secret report leaked by whistle-blowing moles at the Ministry of Chaos recommends that unproductive employees in what remains of Broken Britain’s devastated industrial and commercial sectors should lose their right to claim unfair dismissal – and instead be replaced by migrant workers from the 27 member EUSSR community who can speak a few words of basic English and scribble their signature on the company’s HSE handbook’s induction page – plus are prepared to work for minimum wage – or less.

The report - commissioned by the UK’s duplicitous twat of a Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron – presents an argument that employs Stalinist rhetoric to defy logic - that such an approach would mean more capable people replacing those sacked - thus boosting industrial output and economic growth.

The Daily Shitraker quotes the report as saying that under current rules legions of apathetic workers are allowed to coast along at a snail’s pace as it is nigh on impossible to sack them without costly Employment Tribunal proceedings - which habitually result in mega-bucks payouts to the dismissed workers.

Conspiratorially, as what is viewed as a sop to Eurosceptic back benchers, the Tory leadership yesterday warned it might demand Britain's exemption from European employment protection laws as a condition for any treaty change needed to help save the worthless and doomed euro currency.

Oh, very fucking nice indeed – British workers cop for all the crap that comes out of Brussels but get denied any beneficial legislation - and now Scameron’s trying to appease Tory back bench rebels with this proffered concession that threatens the common herd’s employment rights.

As if to confirm precisely this speculation, the moronic Minister of Education Michael ‘Rubberlips’ Gove, informed one press hack from the Serfdom Gazette that he personally would like to see legislation imposed governing "whom we can hire, how we can hire and how long they work" taken away from Brussels.

The Ministry of Chaos report - which was never intended to be seen by embedded civil service snitches and grassers or made public - was written by Adrian Snide-Twatt, a self-promoting venture capitalist and Conservative Party donor – known to friends and business associates alike as a right nasty little shit whose favourite subject is himself.
However, Snide-Twatt’s report actually recommends putting an end to unfair dismissal altogether, so anyone whose face doesn’t fit or turns up late to clock in for two mornings in the same month gets a DCM in his pay packet (Don’t Come Monday).

A Daily Shitraker editorial warns that regardless of incapable workers being left to coast along, many firms also fear expanding due the fact that under the EUSSR’s moronic employment laws governing the hire of new staff they’ll get lumbered with some Easter European pikeys – or otherwise unknown quantities who are impossible to sack – as instanced with our incompetent Prime Minister and his zillionaire’s cabinet of elitist dog-wankers.

However, the Libservative Coalition has now sworn on the body of a dead heron and in the presence of three bishops and a magistrate that they’re committed to reforming the UK’s employment statutes, with our elitist poof of a Chancellor, Georgie Osborne, announcing new measures aimed at restricting the number of unfair dismissal claims.
Osborne intends on pushing legislation to ensure dismissed staff must have at least ten years service with a company before being able to make a claim for unfair dismissal.
“Really, if employers don’t have to pay out lots of unfair dismissal compensation, then they can pay more in taxes, which enables me to send a bigger postal order to Brussels every month to pay off the arrears on our EUSSR Club membership dues.”

On hearing this, Genghis McGnasher of the Hammer & Sickle Comrades Union went into attack mode, informing the media that Snide-Twatt’s recommendations would horrify workers and perhaps result in industrial action.
“Who is this spoiled prat anyways, never done a decent day’s work in his effin’ life an’ is out ter shitcan established equality and employment rights. Dave Scameron needs ter chuck this effin’ report straight in the shredder – like wot Tony Bliar did wiv Scotland Yard’s Operation Ore report on kiddie fiddlin’.”
“It’s all a crock of shite really cos the clue’s in the name – ‘unfair dismissal’ – an’ employers already have more than enough powers ter make 'fair' dismissals.”

“I wish one of these fuckin’ idiots would explain ter me just how reducin’ employment protection laws is gonna make the economy boom again and create growth - it's all a pile of absolute bullshit.”
“Wot the twats need ter do is focus on Britain’s productivity problems – wot’s all down ter crap investment sense, piss poor training - an’ mismanagement on a scale that should be classified as criminal negligence. Never forget it woz that old bastard Maggie Thatcher wot de-industrialised Britain an’ broke it back in the 1980’s."

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 27 October 2011

Kikester Venom Turned on Palestinians

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ref: http://badrachel.blogspot.com/2011/10/gilad.html

In the 18th October blog post - url pasted above - applauding the recent release of the hapless IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade soldier, Gilad Shalit, held captive in grotty Gaza by Hamas militants for what horologists term ‘a very long time’ – the US-based ultra-Zionist bigot, Rachel ‘Dexter’ Abrams, had obviously forgone her medication and ignored the strictures of polite society, and too the statutes of racial hatred incitement laws, when she issued a clarion call for the complete genocide of the Palestinian people.

Oh yes, not just the Palestinian Hamas militia besieged inside the Gaza Strip, behind the Israeli’s 30 foot high Great Apartheid Wall, in the biggest concentration camp on the planet - but the entire marginalised and disaffected Palestinian race, wherever they might be found: the occupied West Bank or the myriads of ‘displaced persons’ refugee camps in Lebanon, Syria and Jordan.

According to the gospel preached in Abram’s jingoist diatribe, not a single soul is to be spared of these very same ‘Palestinians’ the Israeli terrorists stole ‘Palestine’ from in the 1948 Yawm an-Nakbah (Day of the Catastrophe) – to serve as the foundation stone of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s personal outlaw sovereign state – from where they would finally begin their campaigns of Moharebeh (waging war against Islam) and Fesad fel Arz (spreading corruption across the face of the Earth).

What the deranged Abrams - so cosy in her unqualified arrogance and Zionist shell - is calling for is that Israel toss released Palestinian prisoners - whom she describes ‘quote’: as "child sacrificing savages" and "animals" - along with "their offspring" - "into the sea, to float there, food for sharks."
(Hmmm, hopefully not the ubiquitous blood-sucking Shylock ‘loan shark’ variety – out for a pound of goyim flesh wherever they can grab it).

Alas, this is Rachel the Schnoz blabbering on. A person cursed with more of the mongrel in her Khazar-Ashkenazi genes than ‘God’s Chosen’ pedigree, it does appear to all intents and purposes to look like she fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

So, while described affectionately by friends and associates alike as a prehensile-toothed harpy whose prognathous jawline and fucked up dentistry have equipped her with a set of gnashers that can eat an apple through a chicken wire fence - (or bite Muslim baby’s heads off in a single snap) – obviously from the homicidal racist comments contained in her recent Gilad!!!!! blog, her capacity for forgiveness – and too her sense of empathy – are sadly lacking to the point of moral and spiritual desolation. She is, like Hitler and his Nazis before her, devoid of humanity and compassion.

However such is hardly surprising when considered she’s the wife of the Iran-Contra felon and disgraced former Assistant Secretary of State Elliot Abrams, and the daughter of career scumbag Midge Decter and the step-daughter of neo-con founding father Norman Shylock Podhoretz. Hmmm, there we go - it’s a proven fact – you can’t sculpt masterpieces out of a pile of shite.

Abrams, obviously a woman of limited intellectual abilities, a fact which shines through in her blog’s bloviated scribblings – which reveal a rabid fervour for Israeli right-wing politics closely in line with the country’s Likud Party and those of the pro-Jabotinskyist PM Bobo Nuttyahoo.
Yet another good ole patriotic American - who puts Israel first and foremost. Alas, if treason doth prosper, none dare call it treason. Consult Poxman's ADL and AIPAC on this little home truth.

The cursed Abrams is also a board member of the right-wing Emergency Committee for Israel, which recently broadcast a typical kikester canard claiming the Occupy Wall Street movement is anti-Semitic – and it’s participants all Holohoax deniers. Que? WTF? Is this woman wired up right?

Jennifer Scattstein Rubin, a Washington Post ‘journalist’ (sic) and one of Abrams' closest allies in the gutter press, pens the neoconservative Right Turn blog and re-tweeted the link to Abrams’ exterminationist post to her followers - obviously approving of its content for the mass murder / genocide of the Palestinian population.
Hence responsible moral jurists might well call into question the actual policy of the Washington Post regarding the promotion of incitement of racial hatred and mass murder by its staffers.

Oh yes, the mass genocide of the Palestinian people, whose lands the Israeli terrorists stole by force of arms in 1948 – obviously the same brand of genocide the pro-Zionist kikesters are forever pontificating over that Hitler’s Nazi hordes visited on some fantasist and grossly exaggerated six million of their number during the WW2 Holohoax.

Thus, forget all the self-promoting hype about Jewish superior intelligence and culture – Abrams comments, and Rubin’s – and the Washington Post’s – implicit approval and endorsement of them - just go to prove what a gang of war-mongering shits the Shylock kikesters really are – and every fucker and their dog’s fed up with the Zionist Chosen People’s contempt for the rest of the global ‘goyim’ population.

Thought for the day: As to hateful Rachel ‘the Schnoz’ Abrams and her exterminationist blog post viz the Palestinian population - within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Abrams or her ultra-xenophobic condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a joint human rights synod and a Muslim solidarity jirga that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Hmmm, as to Israel - Sic Temper Tyrannis. Quote Jeremiah 12:7 - We shall bury them in Tophet until there be no place left to bury.

There exists now a maxim agreed between Christians and Muslims, and too Jews of conscience alike, that there will never be any form of peace for the dispossessed Palestinians or the Holy Land until the last Zionist usurper is strangled with the disembowelled entrails of the last of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s scumbags.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Church Slams Latest Gay Demands

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Spurred on by the latest batch of asinine equal opportunities legislation manipulated through Parliament by deviant MPs with a fetish for things anal, the UK-based branch of Gay Arrogance, having won their case for same sex church weddings, is now citing government endorsement of the Paralympics for disabled people as a criterion for establishing a Gay Olympics venue to be juxtaposed with the London-hosted 2012 games.

This demand has elicited a frenzied negative reaction from the evangelical Pastor Frank McSkanger, leader of the Smegmadale-based ultra-fundamental militant Pancake Tuesday Adventists Christian movement.

The controversial and outspoken Pastor opined to a gaggle of red top tabloid press hacks, anxious to record his vitriolic and customary belligerent reactions to the news, that “So, the Church has sanctioned, if not actually bestowed blessings upon, gay marriages in the eyes of God - which jeopardises the credibility and sanctity of the entire Christian faith and threatens to make us a laughing stock.”

“The concept of Holy Matrimony is that mixed sex couples come to the altar to be joined in wedlock alike Adam and Eve - not Madam and Eve or Adam and Steve – flaunting themselves up the aisle to the iconic strains of Here Comes the Bride – modified to Here Comes the Bitch. Really, are we going to be swamped with bearded transvestites in bridesmaids gowns sporting size 10 feet and stinking of Old Spice or whatever it is these tosspot poofs splash on to smell nice?”

“These shit-stabbers have not only forced the Archbishop of Canterbury’s hand via rhetorical sophistry and political correctness arguments into sanctioning church weddings for same sex couples but now want their own Gay Olympics – with the perverted sport of felching approved as a recognised event. Doubtless the RSPCA are going to be voicing a legion of objections on that proposal.”

“I mean, it’s not a matter of homophobia, but nice people – Christian members of polite society – do not – even behind closed doors and between consenting adults – go round sticking small furry rodents up each other’s arseholes.”
“It was even on last night’s news, with that disgusting felching addict Lord Peter Scandalson – the effeminate Vermin in Ermine – voicing his support for a Gay Olympics to a reporter from the Golden Enema Gazette - while brazenly cuddling his pet gerbils Fudge and Scatt in front of the cameras.

“We’ve all read about this perverted ‘felching’ practice raving faggots have – especially the recent case of a certain gentleman from Old Scrotum in Oxford, who, while attending a Gay Masons BD/SM induction night, found himself seized, blindfolded, then bent over a table, bound and buggered – and had his rear passage dilated with a bovine speculum and a hedgehog rammed up – nose first – which resulted in a clinical extraction conundrum that it took the combined skills of a team of medical specialists comprised of two proctologists, an RSPCA vet, and the man from Dynarod to resolve.”

“Personally, and you can quote me on this one, I blame the Libservative Coalition, dominated by public school Tories, all of whom have been force-fed on a diet of semen-swallowing and buggery, corrupting the society of our once-sceptred isle with promiscuity, vice and perversion - and encouraging decent God-fearing folk to play the beast with two backs.”

“And we all know what God thinks about fudging turd burglars, now don’t we. He condemned the practice of men sticking their cocks up each other’s bums as an abomination – then dispatched a band of four-winged Archangels to the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah with a couple of ten megaton nukes and wreaked brimstone and fire down upon them.”

“So, what’s going to come next I dare not ponder. Will they want a law passing that makes homosexuality compulsory – such as in those paradises of sodomy known as Her Majesty’s Prisons - or perhaps legislation to legalise kiddie fiddling, to accommodate the perverted tastes of our ranking pederasts in government. Then England and Wales will be on an equal footing with Scotland and their paedophile-ridden crime capital of Scaberdeen.”

“Oh yes, Westminster and Parliament are infested with poofters and venal paedos – plus the internet’s crammed with evidence and data concerning the criminal actions of Tony Bliar and his stamping on Scotland Yard’s Operation Ore – and how rogue elements at all levels of government have been involved in systematic child abuse and paedophilia to feed the base desires of key politicians in Whitehall and the Houses of Conmans and the Lords."
"But don’t worry – God’s watching and it’s all down in the Day of Judgement book - then they'll cop it - an eternity in Hell getting buggered 24/7 by some demon with a red hot twelve inch willy.”

Thought for the day: Should young married couples be Frank and Earnest – or Man and Wife?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

House of Conmans Bullying Culture Rife

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following complaints being filed with Scotland Yard, the Met’s Plod Squad are investigating reports of a culture of systematic harassment and bullying directed against a number of House of Conmans MPs who have had the temerity or audacity to display indications of thinking for themselves and going against the party line.

This latest grievance, voiced by a Scottish Affairs Select Committee MP this week, follows on the heels of scandalous reports of intimidation and oppressive bullying by the Tory’s psycho whips to enforce compliance to PM Posh Dave Scameron’s directive that his party’s back benchers cease and desist from all forms of rebellion and dissent when casting their ballots on whether to hold a nationwide ‘in or out’ referendum vote on Broken Britain’s continued EUSSR membership last Monday night.

Following the 483 to 111 ‘referendum’ ballot result, over a dozen MPs were reported missing by their families, with several hospitalised after being sadistically dumped in the hours of darkness on the A & E forecourts of various London medical centres, all bearing a mixed bag of injuries consistent with the type of wounds visited on Palestinian activists by the Israeli Defence Force’s thugs – specifically bludgeoning, ribs kicked in with a jackboot, garrotting and being subjected to cigarette burns on the face, torso and genitals.

The body of the Tory back bench rebellion ringleader, Jarvis de Ffinch-Spatchcock, MP for Smegmashire’s Old Scrotum constituency, was discovered yesterday morning by one pensioner out jogging with her dog – the corpse sat propped against a tree in the David Kelly Memorial Woods at Grassy Knoll Park.

Although first responder paramedics described injuries to the body as consistent with being battered from head to foot with a pick axe handle, plus the victim’s left wrist slashed with a blunt gardening knife, the on-scene Plod Squad pathologist determined that death was self-inflicted – a verdict supported by the suicide note written in blood and pinned to his chest.

This latest allegation of physical threats by Ms Eilidh Whingeford, the SNP’s ginger mingin MP for Bumph and Bootleg, has been lodged as a formal complaint with the House of Conmans speaker as well as Scotland Yard – with the piqued Ms Whingeford withdrawing from the Scottish Affairs Select Committee after she was threatened by its chairman Ian ‘Pitbull’ Davidson, the Labour MP for the Glasgow Pillocks constituency.

Davidson, who is rumoured to have a reputation for dominating susceptible children, small dogs and the meeker members of the opposite sex, is alleged to have threatened Ms Whingeford with ‘a doing over and a good seeing-to’ if details of a controversial committee discussion were leaked to the gutter press.

BBC Scotland has reported that officials on the committee raised the allegation with Parliament’s Chief Clerk for Bullying, the most senior official in charge of Westminster's intimidation and harassment procedures.

Whingeford contacted all members of the cross-party committee, informing them that she was withdrawing from the work of the committee until Davidson has relinquished his position.
In her communication to MPs she stated for the Hansard record: "I do not believe this intimidating behaviour is compatible with the position of chair of a select committee, and therefore do not intend to return to the committee while that bullying dingbat Davidson remains in the chairman’s role. Really, to have this despicable Gorbals thug threatening to give me a good seeing-to - only my hubby does that on a Saturday night - if he remembers to take his little blue pills.”

Conversely, MP Davidson, in his role as chairman of Westminster's Scottish Affairs Committee, is no stranger to controversy due his propensity for failing to engage brain before opening mouth – hence his sobriquet of ‘Old Gobshite’.
Davidson stirred up a shit storm last June when he branded the Scottish National Party as a bunch of "neo-fascists" during a House of Conmans debate on the Scotland Bill – a comment that Edinburgh’s Holyrood Prime Minister Alex ‘Six Chins’ Salmond demanded an apology for – as did New Labour MPs when he branded them Maoists and Trotskyists during a 2008 Parliamentary debate - both without much success.

Ah well, as the Chinese sage Confucius once stated: “The best you can ever get from a pig is a grunt.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 26 October 2011

UK Political Correctness Gone Mad

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Racial harassment charges have been dropped against Mrs Gladys McScrote, a Smegmadale-on-Sea pensioner, whose whingeing darkie neighbour complained to the local police authority that she had purposely and with malice aforethought stood a two-foot high golliwog doll holding a bunch of plastic bananas in the parlour window to taunt her.

The 96-year old Mrs McScrote, of Xenophobia Lane, had her front door kicked in, copped for a faceful of pepper spray and was subsequently arrested in a dawn raid following a string of complaints filed against her with the town’s Plod Squad by a black African neighbour, Mrs Twatcha N’kunta Jaffacake.

WPC Glenda Skank, a spokeswoman for Smegmadale Police, informed press hacks that "We conducted a thorough investigation into the incident and following several water-boarding sessions and getting half her fingernails ripped out Mrs McScrote confessed to her crime. The information extracted was then passed to the Crown Prosecution Service who, at that stage, decided there was sufficient evidence to charge her with an incitement of racial hatred offence, which prompt stacks of decent media coverage and is always good for a few political brownie points.”

However, appearing before Smegmadale Magistrates' Court yesterday and speaking in her own defence Mrs McScrote denied displaying an item likely to cause racially-aggravated harassment, and stated for the record that: “There was also a Basil Brush soft toy in the window too, but I’ve not had any complaints from the local hunt, nor the urban fox population who pass by every night on their wheelie bin scavenging excursions. Plus the Holly Hobby doll in her black see-through lingerie doesn’t seem to have inspired charges from troubled parents that I’m inciting latent paedophiles – or priests from the local Roman Catholic seminary - to go into kiddie fiddling mode and commit sexual offences against their children.”

Waving a ‘World’s Gone Mad’ poster outside the court, the Big Brother Watch civil rights and wrongs activist, Fellattia van der Gamm, told one reporter from the Jingoist Gazette that “Talk about tryin’ ter cash in on offended sensibilities, this is political fuckin’ correctness gone barmy. Like that bloke up at Twatford wot got his hapless arse cuffed and charged wiv breaches of the equal rights act an’ harassment an’ taken ter court last July by the cops cos some psycho tosspot midget wot lived down the road complained the bloke had a family of concrete gnomes in his garden sat round a fishpond - an’ the paranoid short-arsed neighbour reckoned they woz put there ter take the piss outa him.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK MPs - Like Lambs to the Slaughter

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Today’s gutter press banner headlines are blatantly plastered with the fact that Posh Dave Scameron has defeated a House of Conmans vote - 483 to 111 - to finally grant the cheated British public their thrice-promised ‘in or out’ referendum on continued EUSSR membership, despite a focused rebellion by back bench MPs.

Well, of course the public school prat’s beaten them - after resorting to dirty deeds and sending the party whips (read ‘thugs’) round to give every fucker and their dog a Chinese burn and a dead-leg if they didn’t obey their Master’s voice.
Scameron had his heavies impose a three-line whip - the strongest order a party can give - on Conservative MPs, meaning that any who voted against the government would be struck off the Tory Christmas card list, have their Masonic advancement careers blocked, and be black-balled from all future summer garden parties – and possible New Year’s honours.

Monday night’s five-hour debate on the issue was prompted after a petition was signed by more than 100,000 members of the common herd who took the trouble to get off their apathetic arses for a change and put pen to paper to express their disgust with decades of catastrophic government mismanagement by both the Tories and Labour – and at being forced into a state of involuntary membership of the kleptocratic den of graft and corruption that represents the Brussels-based EUSSR Debtocracy.

Regardless of the outcome of the rigged Parliamentary vote, public sentiment is still dead set against PM Scameron for abandoning a manifesto pledge for a one-off ‘in or out’ referendum on continued EUSSR membership.

Further ire was also directed towards the Tory’s closet case Foreign Secretary Willy Vague, viewed by friends and political associates alike as a right nasty little piece of work - and the type of person who gives faggots a bad name – who displayed his capacity for duplicity and hypocrisy to their full advantage by shedding his Eurosceptic mask and contrarily attempted to quell the back bench rebellion on Scameron’s behalf by calling the motion "a piece of juvenile graffiti that should be pissed on from a dizzy height.”

Er, hang on a fucking minute – isn’t this supposed to be a constitutional democratic system with the statues written in stone - where each MP holds a personal opinion and is entitled to stand up and be counted on the strength and conviction of their own beliefs - and not what some bullying public school oick orders them to say and do?

However, this is the imbecilic Vague, not a person reputed for his polymath abilities, but more one whose principle interests - hobbies perhaps - focus on career advancement and self-preservation first; plus hanging around public lavatories and Hampstead’s Cottagers Woods with playmate Chrissy Myers – and trying on his hapless wife’s erotic lingerie.

On a separate and perhaps scandalous note, Westminster’s rumour mill is currently churning out calumnious gossip that Vague was recently interviewed – along with Lord Peter Scandalson - by the Met’s Plod Squad and RSPCA officials regarding acts of cruelty relating to the sexual abuse of a gaggle of gerbils during a Gay Arrogance extravaganza party at Soho’s Felchers and Scat Club.

Conversely to the rigged outcome of the Parliamentary vote, and Posh Dave Scameron’s disingenuous statement that a referendum on continued EUSSR membership would present an irresponsible distraction from dodging the current eurozone snafu – and the impending bankruptcy flack and associated fall-out – the man is still faced with growing criticism over putting the Tory Party’s interest before the national interest – both of which shall serve to further contribute to his rapidly diminishing authority and credibility.

Acting on orders from his Zionist kikester bosses, Scameron announced he opposes a public vote on the UK's continued EUSSR membership and has sought to shift attention from the pathetic financial state our de-industrialised Broken Britain is in, to helping solve the Gordian knot eurozone crisis which is fated to see the entire 17 eurozone membership nations forming a queue outside the NM Rothshite pawnshop before Christmas – with Greek islands going for £5 quid each (deposit required).

So, regardless of getting a bollocking off the French Presidential midget Nicky Sarkozy last weekend for poking his nose into eurozone discussions and told to “put up or shut up” for criticising the pathetic state of the eurozone’s economies when Britain aren’t part of it – quote: “This merde Scameron – he can go and fuck spiders, telling us what is good for the euro when they still have their silly old pounds and pennies” - Posh Dave’s going to try and gate crash the scheduled meeting of the heads of the 17 nation eurozone in Brussels this week with representatives of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s insolvency / fire sale group: Bailouts-R-Us.

Thought for the day: The entire Parliamentary hierarchy is riddled with conflicts of interest – by parties of self-interest with a sworn duty to the voting public whose welfare and that of our nation they are in office to supposedly represent and guard.
Alas, as the old maxim goes: “If treason doth prosper, none dare call it treason".

The only solution to restoring the voting British public’s economic liberties and our system of constitutional representative government is a revolution – peaceful if the crooked / corrupt scumbag MPs infesting the House of Conmans agree to go quietly – or violently (tumbrels and the block) if they so refuse.
Regardless, fuck the EUSSR and the eurozone and Globalism - and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 25 October 2011

MUFC Enter Annals of Infamy

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following Man United’s six goals to one scandalous Premier League defeat by their historic arch-opponents - Man’ City’s boys in blue - last Sunday on their home ground’s hallowed turf, the local undertakers have been doing a roaring trade due the cult-like suicide pact autos-da-fé committed by fans unable to face the spectre of humiliation and goading when they turned up for work on Monday morning - or went for a post-match pint to drown their sorrows down the local pub.

Spontaneous self-destructive acts of martyrdom and ritual seppuku were triggered as the final whistle blew, with several fans garrotting themselves with their scarves, while others resorted to venting their frustrations and ignominy by ripping their own heads off. A legion used borrowed angle grinders to remove their stigmatic MUFC tattoos then disembowelling themselves with the razor sharp edge of their season tickets - while one supporter doused himself with the contents of his hip flask then struck a match and self-immolated – setting fire to the stands in the process.

Thousands of MUFC supporters, heads hung in shame, marched from the Old Trafford ground in a virtual funeral procession along Chester Road through Stretford and up the hard shoulder of the M60, to the centre span of Barton Bridge, then divested their once-iconic Nike / AON red shirts before hurling themselves en mass, lemming-fashion, into the murky and chilling toxic depths of the Manchester Ship canal 30 meters below.

Rumours that one Executive Club group of irate VIP fans who lost a bundle in ‘to win’ wagers placed on the match with Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, have put out contracts on several of the overpaid £150,000 quid per week Man United prima donnas – with mega-bucks bounties placed on the heads of manager Alex ‘Incompetence’ Ferguson and centre-back Rio 'Two Left Feet' Ferdinand – still remain unsubstantiated as of going to press.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK Winters Snap-Freeze Oldies

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to an official study commissioned by the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money reveals that in excess of 2,700 people are dying of hypothermia each year in England and Wales due the scandalous fact they cannot afford to keep their homes warm enough during the winter months – September through June.

Little wonder too, on their miserly pensions and paltry winter fuel allowance – further reduced by £50 quid for the 2011 Festive Season thanks to Posh Dave Scameron and the Libservative Coalition bailing out the doomed eurozone - and diverting funds for the RAF to do their bit with NATO - bombing Libya back into the Stone Age.

This ‘freeze factor’ is contrarily juxtaposed with an earlier 2007 study which revealed that Al Bore’s anthropogenic global warming fantasy was likewise killing off legions of pensioners who couldn’t afford to run electric fans or air conditioning units – or even leave their fridge door open - and succumbed to the double whammy effects of heat stroke and scare-mongering propaganda – until the AGW fiction was dismissed as a total scam with Rajendra Pachauri’s IPCC and University of East Anglia joint Climategate dodgy data swindles exposed a couple of years back - when Britain was hit with the worst winter weather since the end of the last Ice Age.

This latest study has concluded that the Russian and European money-grubbing energy suppliers who operate on a ‘Shylock system’ of ‘the bigger the profit, the better our bonuses’ – have purposely manipulated the cost of gas and electricity into an upward spiral that, combined with the impact of the extortionate green taxes, is putting the health and lives of senior citizens at risk.

Now the anthropomorphic-caused global warming scam has been blown wide open and proved to be more at scent than substance, and conspiratorially renamed ‘Climate Change’ to salvage the Rothshite banksters’ carbon credits cap and trade exchange swindle - and up the ante on green taxes - the actual profits of the major energy suppliers to the UK grid have risen by £125 quid a year per individual customer / household - a figure banksters refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’.

This has resulted in a kick-back effect where legions of cash-strapped pensioners are putting excessive pressure on the National Ill-Health Service due a smorgasbord of sub-temperature related physical ailments – from respiratory problems to galloping chilblains to suffering from frostbite while watching the telly.

However Dr Morton Fawkes, the Minister for Shivering, told one press hack from the Arctic Gusts Gazette that “Never mind blaming the government for this problem – at least we’ve introduced the Warm Home Discount, which will knock £120 quid off electricity bills for around 600,000 of the poorest households this coming winter. All pensioners have to do to qualify is wrap themselves up in woollies stuffed with newspapers then turn the electricity off at the mains – then they’re bound to save money. – and hopefully stop bloody whingeing.”

Conversely, the opinion of Bazzer McScrote, director of the senior citizens consumer group Old Farts Action, claims ”Too little and too fuckin’ late – this should have bin sorted effin’ months ago. An’ wot pisses us right off is the fact that it’s not British firms wot’s hikin’ up the prices of gas an’ electric an’ over-chargin’ the crap outa us – it’s a bunch of effin’ twats from the EUSSR.”

“Yer got that Russian tosser, wot’s the chairman of that Premier League soccer team, Dipshit United – an’ he owns fuckin’ Gulag Gaz in Siberia wot sells us 75% of the UK’s supplies. Yet when he woz interviewed last week about chargin’ too much fer his gas an’ pensioners freezin’ ter death cos they can’t afford the bills, the arrogant twat just comes out wiv some bullshit about his snow-bound 85-year old Granny in Murmansk wot has ter go out chopping wood every mornin’ ter keep warm – and reckons Brit’ oldies are a bunch of wimps.”

In support of Old Farts Action, Sir Dinsdale Fuctifino, director of the Government’s Fuel Poverty Advisory Group, described the frozen pensioner death statistics as a disgrace, which reflected very badly on PM Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society concept.
“Really, the figure for deaths of oldies freezing is higher than the number of people killed on the roads – so forget this arbitrary 2,700 croaked last winter as the true number of premature deaths linked to cold exposure is considerably higher by far and exceeding 6,000.”

“I do realise that it doesn’t help matters with this global warming / climate change thing drastically altering the British climate to three seasons – almost winter, winter, and August. However, if British pensioners have been saving up for a trip to Dignitas in Switzerland to end their misery in comfort, then we definitely don’t want them freezing to death before they’re ready to pull the plug – regardless of what Scameron and that little oick bastard Georgie Osborne would like to see. Cull the oldies through the winter months and save a stack on weekly state pension pay-outs – plus they’d have all those nice death duties rolling in too.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Jobcentre ad’

Unemployed gate in need of post – any vacant opening considered.

Monday 24 October 2011

Did Winehouse Die of Old Age?

The Metropolitan Plod Squad this morning confirmed that a highly confidential report into the circumstances surrounding the death of star-crossed singer Amy Winehouse had been sent to a complete stranger.

According to Scotland Yard spokeswoman Chlamydia Mingerot this course of action wasn’t expedited accidentally and yet another Plod Squad snafu as reported earlier, but with purpose aforethought, in the hope of getting an independent neutral and unbiased opinion from a member of the public not involved with the forthcoming post mortem inquiry into what actually snuffed her.

“We were originally contemplating posting a Facebook page for “Amy’s death – what do you think?” – but that might have attracted the attentions of far too many fans with quirky ideas of their own - and not enough impartial opinions.”

While the autopsy toxicology report revealed no really-illegal substances in her system at the time of her death it still remains a matter of conjecture whether or not the singer died of old age.

Since her death, Winehouse's 2006 album ‘Back on the Crack’ has become the UK's bestselling album of the 21st Century – surpassing sales of her contemporary ‘Gone at 27’ club members' releases: Brian Jones, Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain.

Frogs Tell Scameron: Keep Your Beak Out

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Broken Britain’s Libservative Coalition Prime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, has clashed with France’s dwarf-troll President, Nicolas Sarkozy, over the UK's involvement in discussions concerning the eurozone crisis.
Sarkozy, the type of person who gives sex offenders a bad name, opined to one press hack from the Insolvency Gazette that the final talks, scheduled to take place on Wednesday, should be restricted to the 17 EUSSR member nations which actually use the worthless euro – and not busybodies who love the sound of their own pontificating pedantry.

“This merde Scameron, it is bad enough that we all consider him a moronic arsehole, without opening his stupid mouth and confirming the fact. Why does this shit-for-brains six foot penis-on-legs think he has answers to the eurozone problems when his country still have their pounds and pence and do not use the euro? Brussels is sick of his fanfaronade and hypocrisy.”

The clash erupted when EUSSR leaders agreed to change the Union's constitutional treaty if necessary to resolve the fiscal quagmire that’s currently on a self-consuming destruction derby course and heading at a geometric rate velocity towards a tragic destiny – with Greece due to disappear down the Debtocracy plughole before the year’s end.

On hearing that news, Scameron went into headless chicken mode, demanding that all EUSSR leaders be present to debate issues which could affect them, “You blokes don’t realize I’ve made another promise to the British voters that they’re not getting an ‘in / out’ referendum on continued EUSSR membership – unless Brussels attempts to alter the treaty. So you’re putting me and my government on a very sticky wicket if you even contemplate changing the rules in mid-game.”

That outburst prompted Sarkozy to jump up on his Napoleonic mini-Me box so the assembly might see him, then declared he was pissed off with reading in newspapers about advice Mr Scameron and his Chancellor Georgie Osborne were offering the eurozone.
“We are sick of you criticising us and telling us what to do. You say you hate the euro and now you want to interfere in our meetings. You are no better than the dogshit I tread in on the street this morning. You and your Bullingdon Club aristocrat cronies can kiss my spotty French bottom."

In an attempt to calm tempers and an all-out fistfight kicking off, the EUSSR’s Catweazle look-alike president Herman van Rumpy said that members would explore the possibility of limited change and any likely modifications to the treaty would involve closer fiscal integration – with all members declaring bankruptcy and their national economies going tits up simultaneously.

So, it’s time for even more debt swaps and quantitative easing. For Christ’s sake, the entire capitalist financial system’s fucked with a large F and can’t be fixed. The whole shebang needs ditching and replacing with an organisational format that isn’t based on the fatally-flawed processes of fractional reserve lending and non-existent derivatives – and is devoid of the levels of cannibalistic usury that’s got the global economy where it is today – up shitcreek without a paddle.

This panacea of all fiscal ills - quantitative easing / printing more money - could well be defined metaphorically with closing the windows at Herculaneum and Pompeii to keep the dust out when Mt Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD.

Thought for the day: Perhaps, for once in his insignificant existence, the diminutive parrot-faced Sarkozy’s right. Dave Scameron’s self-preservation outburst concerning the euro currency is reminiscent of the institutional hypocrisy of the Catholic Church and its administrative den of iniquity in Rome – the venal Vatican – and their duplicitous preaching of the do’s and don’t of sexual congress to the faithful while being supposedly celibate themselves (apart from their proclivity for rampant kiddie-fiddling).

Oh, and by the way, fuck the EUSSR and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 23 October 2011

Libya Mission Accomplished: Iraq Mk II Fubar

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Typical of his over-privileged public school elitist class, the UK’s Tory Slime Minister, Posh Dave Scameron, has, assigning faulty rhetoric to take precedence over logic and rationality, moronically hailed the street justice murder of usurped Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi as a definite step towards establishing a civilised, democratic Big Society future for the North African nation.

Speaking to one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette in Downing Street moments after the Grim Reaper website posted a tweet officially confirming the bonkers Colonel’s execution, Scameron declared he was proud of the role Britain had played in facilitating RAF air strikes in conjunction with a belligerent NATO’s indiscriminate saturation bombings – all to protect Libyan civilians - after the Rothshite-funded Movements.org conspired Arab Spring rebellion against Gaddafi's regime kicked off in February.

Scameron, morbidly joking over the Libyan leader’s murder, opined to salivating media hacks that now was perhaps the time to remember Gaddafi's victims.
“Well, that’s got him back with knobs on for Lockerbie and Pan-Am Flight 103 – even though it was really the CIA covering up their Mid-East drug trade operations that put the bomb on the plane. Plus it’s payback for PC Yvonne Fletcher’s shooting too – even if it was one of Mossad’s Kidon assassins who pulled a false flag op’ and snuffed her to get Gaddafi and Co in the shit. And let’s not forget all the victims of IRA terrorism - who died from Libyan-supplied Semtex bombing campaigns in their bid to escape the yoke of 900 years of imperialist aggression by the British Crown.”

No sooner was Gaddafi senior’s death announced by the National Transitional Council’s rebel leader, Mr Liwat ibn Zamel, a former wheelbarrow mechanic and co-founder of the Benghazi Halitosis Society - who informed a press conference in Tripoli: "This is the moment we have all been waiting for - Gaddafi is dead and now our Kleptocracy Party can collect Baron Rothshite’s thirty pieces of silver then form a government and hold an election to vote us into office, so we can divvy up all the frozen overseas bank accounts. Then we can consolidate our rule and track down all those thousands of Gaddafi loyalist supporters and mete out justice on them – and hopefully get the tons of gold bullion back from the rest of the Gaddafi clan in Mali and Algeria.”

So much for due process, Geneva Conventions, human rights and wrongs, and the letter of the law, when all the former are wreaked asunder by copious lashings of soundbites and spin from the New World Order’s propaganda merchants.

But as Seymour Scattstein, the CIA / Mossad double-agent assigned as Chief Minder-Adviser to the NTC’s rebel leader Liwat ibn Zamel confided to one of WickedLeaks’ whistle-blowing moles over Meths and Camel’s Hump beer chasers in the bar of Tripoli’s bullet-riddled Rixos Hotel “No shit, now the nutty Colonel’s gone our next target’s Syria – then Iran. But goddam, this sure has been fun, lighting up half of Libya’s vital infrastructure with targeting lasers for the NATO’s bombers so Halliburton and Bechtel have plenty to rebuild. I ain’t had so much fun since we pulled off that false flag Sarin gas terrorist attack on the Tokyo subway back in 1995 and dropped old Shoko Asahara and his numpty Aum Shinrikyo cult gang right in a pile of deep shit.”

Conversely, regarding this case, in their brazen arrogance the agents of the Zionist neo-cons running the US military-industrial global bully network overlook the glaring fact that Gaddafi’s death is simply a harbinger, a black omen, that will kick start a mob rule wave of internecine tribal conflicts and ethnic cleansing across the nation, and like Iraq before it, with malice aforethought, initiate a reversal of the order out of chaos maxim – specifically order ‘into’ chaos.
To date, the entire shebang has taken several rapid steps backwards from the thriving economy it until recently was, into the Third World basket case shithole that existed under the despotic autocracy of the corrupt King Idris - prior to Colonel Gaddafi’s military coup in 1969.

On receiving the glad tidings of Gaddafi’s extra-judicial murder, the US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton (aka the Arkansas Mena Mafia Matriarch) in Kabul for meetings with President Hamid Karzai’s corruption-ridden kleptocracy government, responded with jubilation to the news like a cackling harpy, with typical kikester Schadenfreude – giggling dementedly over his sanguine demise at the hands of the mob that are now set to rule Libya – in the name of the Rothshite crime syndicate.
Facing the news cameras with her customary manic stare, the rug-munching dyke slut set up a top end score on the International Scumometer scale of 1 to 10 by hitting a 12 for her most politically incorrect gleeful comment of “We came, we saw, and we killed the butt-ugly Muslim shit.”

In reference to the Libyan tragedy, Clinton’s boss, Barky O’Barmy, the Kenyan cuckoo currently squatting in the White House and impersonating the US President, deludingly stated for the public record that the cold-blooded murder of Gaddafi, a man who for all his quirks and idiosyncrasies took Libya from one of the poorest nations on the planet to the highest standard of living in Africa, was a momentous day for Libyans - as they survey the mass death and destruction of their country’s infrastructure and civilian population wreaked by the NATO liberators (neo-con’ colonialists).

Thoughts for the day: Since the US / PNAC-instigated NATO aggression to force a regime change in Libya kick started with a large Ka-fucking-Boom! the day after St Valentine’s in February, with warplanes carrying out over 26,000 sorties, including 9,600 air strike missions employing banned cluster bombs and white phosphorus munitions - a mortality headcount by the Ox-Rat and Amnesty human rights and wrongs charity groups reveals a very conservative estimate of 60,000 civilians wounded, 3,000 maimed and 25,000 killed – including the bonkers Colonel.

How’s that for a UN-sanctioned ‘no-fly zone’ policy of ‘humanitarian intervention’ (the all-new soundbite mantra for imperialist belligerence).

Er, anyone or their dog thought about what should present this rag-arsed National Transitional Council’s job number one priority? Like how to disarm every fucker and their dog currently wandering around macho style with an AK and bandoliers stuffed with 7.62 ammo?

Regardless, and Insha’Allah - fuck the ZioNazi Masonic Illuminati elitists - and their New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 22 October 2011

Scameron Fixes EUSSR Referendum Vote

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A petition signed by every fucker and their dog over three years of age in the entire UK, including Polish plumbers, reformed Somali pirate refugees, Paki Muslims who hate out democratic freedoms - and swan-roasting Albanian pikeys – plus the remaining residents of Dale Farm - demanding a referendum into continued EUSSR membership, was recently handed into Downing Street.

The petition called for our promised referendum to be finally held by May 2013 and that the hapless British public should have three options put to them in the nationwide vote – specifically: keeping the status quo, leaving the EUSSR altogether, or reforming the terms of the UK's membership of the fatally-flawed European Union.

However, the powers that be from all three main parties, headed by the dodgy Libservative Coalition PM Posh Dave Scameron, have typically resorted to political legerdemain, wheeler-dealing and outright chicanery, to coerce and compel MPs to vote against holding a referendum and obey the Brussels’ mandated Mafia / IRA status quo style pledge of ‘Once in - Never out’.

As PM Scameron and FS Willy Vague would miss the scheduled voting date on 27th October due a trip to Australia to suck up to the Queen and her psycho Virus Man spouse Philip at the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in Wallamaroo, the House of Conmans Backbench Business Committee has agreed to hold the debate on Monday, the 24th October.

To this end, as 60 Tory MPs have signed the motion, Scameron has tasked the Tory party’s chief whip, Genghis ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher with kicking a few Parliamentary arses and circulating a rumour that any Eurosceptic MPs caught thinking for themselves and out to cause a spot of mischief by voting ‘yea’ for a referendum might just find themselves getting body bagged up in the David Kelly Memorial Woods at the back of Hampstead’s Grassy Knoll Common – with a suicide note pinned to their worthless hides.

To add to the conspiratorial calumny, Mick Clogg’s Lib-Dum whips have ordered their MPs to vote against also; with New Labour leader Ed Millipede – the Child Emissary from the Planet Fuckwit – stating for the public record that he too, just to keep well in with the ruling Coalition, would order his MPs to oppose the referendum vote – which he, in his profound ignorance, convolutedly claims would be an irresponsible and terrible distraction.

Er, hang on a fucking minute – isn’t this supposed to be a ‘democratic’ system where each MP holds a personal opinion and is entitled to stand up and be counted on the strength and conviction of their own beliefs - and not what some bullying public school oick orders them to say and do?

Hence what it boils down to, instead of the three proposed choices – MP’s now have no fucking choice, capiscé? Right, that sounds about par for the course with this shower of shit coalition government

So, if the actual truth be known, regardless of Posh Dave ‘Soundbites’ Scameron’s Big Society / transparency in government mantra of ‘Rule of the people, by the people, for the people’ – and the broken campaign pledge to hold a one-off ‘in or out’ referendum if the Tories won the election – (and not a repeat of Eire’s where they kept holding referendums until they got a ‘Yes’ vote) – if he went against his mandated orders then the Rothshite crime syndicate’s jackboot would be on his privileged neck – and he might be going home to find Sammy three hole butt-fucked and the kids sold as sex slaves to one of Scaberdeen’s ‘untouchable’ paedophilia cabals.

Why the fuck don’t they simply postpone the vote until April 1st 2012 and then we can all have a bit of a giggle over the futility of trying to go against Scameron’s political agenda directives from his Shylock bankster bosses.
Talk about Broken Britain with a capital B - the EUSSR mess in Brussels and Strasbourg are totally fucked with a capital F.

Ah well, as the old adage states: We can’t cure stupid, but can vote it out of office come the next election – and usher in an equally incompetent set of crooked scumbags.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Taliban Scorn Clinton’s Ultimatum

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The rug-munching US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, was in Afghanistan to galvanise President Hamid Kami-Karzai into compelling the Taliban to agree to a sit-down Jirga-style tribal pow-wow and negotiate a spot of old time reconciliation – a policy the hapless Karzai has expressed frustration over pursuing as the process inevitably ends up with some shaheed suicide bomber gate-crashing the party in a Semtex vest and snuffing a bunch of the rapidly-diminishing Afghan leadership.

Sec' Clinton’s visit to Kabul was primarily for talks with the US military chief Admiral Mork Mullen, to discuss the US Navy’s role in defeating the Taliban in the land-locked Third World shithole – followed by a meeting with Afghan President Hamid Karzai and members of his Kleptocracy Party cabinet, after which she tasked her dedicated PA Mingeeter Dildodo with issuing a public warning to the Taliban leadership and their muhijadeen fighters that if they didn’t lay down their arms and embrace a political solution to the conflict then things might just get really rough for them.

Clinton arrived in the Graveyard of Empires on a whistle-stop junket from Libya, where she had met with TNC rebel leader Khara ibn Himar for a corporate media focus photo op’ at the only Tripoli hospital still standing - shaking the bloodied stumps of children’s limbs – amputated by US DIME cluster bomb shrapnel - while in the distance the sound of NATO bombers knocking the living shit out of Bani Walid with banned white phosphorous munitions could be heard.

And the reaction to this from the Clinton bitch: “Hey and why not too, if the Israeli psychos can get away with burning the fuck out of Palestinian kids with the nasty crap in Gaza, then why can’t NATO’s barbarians do the same in Libya?”
Next it was off down to Sirte for a few pix of Clinton holding up the head of snuffed leader Muammar al Gaddafi, and biting off his left ear as a souvenir.

According to one top secret report on page three of the Warmongers Gazette, Clinton and her ‘Circus without a Tent’ entourage are next bound for neighbouring Pakiland, where she’ll join the new CIA chief Dave Betrayus and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Billy Bob Redneck to pressure President Zardari into letting the US take charge of guarding the Muslim nation’s nuclear weapons stockpile to ensure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands – such as the Taliban’s.

Meanwhile, back in Kabul, apparently Clinton’s Afghan trip has left President Hamid Karzai in a state of quandary, with him shaking his head woefully and informing reporters “This woman, she is more full of shit than an Eid ul-Fitr festival goose. Like all these morons who come here from Europe and the Great Satan, they know nothing about Afghanistan or the Taliban and their virulent Deobandi fundamentalist strain of Islam.”

“Do these stupid tossers - this US-led fiasco operating under the NATO brand - still not realise they have they have a blanket ‘fatwa’ imposed on them – better than any West African or Haitian witch doctor’s curse?”
“The Taliban charge the US agents of Satan with invading our country and committing acts of Moharebeh (waging war against God) and Fesad fel Arz (spreading their foul infidel corruption) – and they will never allow themselves to be dictated into a state of ‘dhimmitude’ – Clinton’s policy of compromise and surrender.”

Hmmm, truth from the lips of a stooge. After ten years in Afghanistan, trying to shovel wet shit uphill following the 9/11 false flag terrorist attacks,have these clowns learned nothing? Can they not apply the facility of 20/20 hindsight and see that there is no negotiating or reconciliation to be had with the Taliban.
They want all foreign aggressors out – full stop. Then they’ll conduct their own spring cleaning – with the Hamid Kami-Karzai’s Kleptocracy Party government going the way of the dinosaur – to a most violent end - and next come the opium crops – torched.
As to the US-trained Afghan army taking over the job of security, forget it. They’re as much use as tits on a bull, and when the Taliban come knocking on the door, they’ll either do a runner – exit stage left – or simply join the Taliban’s ranks – if that option is actually open to them and they don’t get the chop.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 21 October 2011

Scotland Launch ‘Kick a Samaritan’ Month

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Taking a copycat page directly out of the Zionist Israeli’s annual Schadenfreude Festival, which involves running down and squashing the shit out of foreign human rights activists with a Caterpillar D8 bulldozer as they attempt to stop the illegal demolition of Palestinian homes in the occupied West Bank - bonny Scotland’s political elite (reared on a diet of first malt stubbornness and over-ripe sensibilities – festooned with lashings of graft and generous portions of corruption) have decided to stage their very own ‘Kick a Samaritan Month’ this coming 14th November at Stonehaven Sheriff’s Court.

According to Genghis McTadger, Chief Constable of the Grampian Plod Squad, the occasion will focus on the public pillorying - and possible crucifixion - of misguided Sassenach do-gooders who’ve been stirring up trouble around the nation’s crime and kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen over the past couple of years by taking it upon themselves to initiate their personal Grand Inquisition to expose the crimes of a ring of paedophiles, with nary a thought for the culprits whose stifled consciences and dignity they might offend with their accusations of wrong-doing.

These acts of provocation and harassment have further involved petitioning for the release of suppressed police and coroner’s reports under the Freedom of Information Act concerning the official cover-ups of at least one murder - and attempting to initiate an independent inquiry into a catalogue of ritualised sexual abuses of disabled children attending the Beechwood Special Needs School by establishment figures rumoured to be connected to the Ferryhill Masonic Lodge.

Unlike the rest of the UK, where allegations of gross sexual perversions committed against minors by ranking local government worthies would immediately elicit outrage and spark the launch of ‘name and shame’ official investigations - (unless, of course, viz Operation Ore, Tony Bliar’s the Prime Minister) - in Scotland such finger-pointing simply kick starts a round of blatant denials and strategies of criminal concealment.

The primary showpiece victim of this coming November’s ‘Kick a Samaritan Month’ - and first in line to be fed to the lions - will be Robert Green, the lay legal representative and ‘knight errant’ for Hollie Greig, a Downs Syndrome sufferer, and the central victim in the now internationally notorious paedophilia sexual abuse case cover-up involving a legion of Scaberdeen’s establishment figures.

Further, Mr Green’s indiscreet revelations have also spurred public demands for an investigation into the suspicious death of Hollie’s uncle, Robert ‘Roy’ Greig, in 1997 - murdered to prevent him exposing the pederast ring that was abusing his niece and a host of other children – a sinister cabal which included her own father and elder brother.

This heinous crime was whitewashed over by the Scaberdeen Coroner’s Court, claiming the post mortem autopsy determined ‘death by suicide’ – wherein the victim had driven his vehicle that fateful night to a secluded spot – specifically the David Kelly Memorial Woods in Grassy Knoll Park – to expedite his auto-da-fé.

Once there, Mr Greig had proceeded to beat himself around the torso and head extensively with a pick axe handle, then dosed up on co-proximol tablets and slashed his wrists with a blunt gardening knife before dousing the interior of the car – and his own person - with petrol and setting fire to himself – prompting the Coroner to comment that this was the most resolute incidence of self-harm he had ever presided over.

So, despite the pick and mix potpourri of extraordinary anomalies and contradictions reported by emergency services personnel, further compounded and confused with the blatant perjuries put around by the Plod Squad officers that attended the crime scene - which were promoted as truth at the inquest - it was still a matter of ‘Amen - case dismissed’.

While the controversial nature of each ‘stand alone’ case itself is in the public’s interest to be subjected to an investigation by an authority detached from - and wholly independent of - the corrupt Scottish political and legal establishments, unfortunately for Lady Justice, Holyrood’s official SCUM Committee (Scottish Cover Up Merchants) have decided to keep these matters under their own scrutiny – and hence overall control – to protect their fellow criminals.
And that is what Rob Green is labouring against for Truth, Reason and Justice on Hollie Greig’s behalf: ‘lex talionis’ - retributive satisfaction and closure.

Rumours that Ferryhill Masonic Lodge members Father Hector O’Skanger of the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites - and Sheriff Graham McScumm, who jointly stand accused of acts of galloping pederasty and loitering around school toilets, encouraging children to stroke their ‘sporran hamsters’, have fled the country for Portugal’s Praia da Luz kiddie fiddling paradise, remain unsubstantiated as of going to press.

Thought for the day: North of the border the story goes that you can tell when a politician’s lying – by every time his lips move. Likewise, a standing joke poses the riddle ‘What’s the difference between an organised crime syndicate and the Scaberdeen police force? Absolutely none.
Further, one modern day adage directed at the cesspit of immoral corruption presented by Scotland’s legal system holds ‘why hire a fucking lawyer when you can buy a judge’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Ricky Gervais: As Funny as Cancer

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ricky Gervais, the vastly over-rated Brit’ comedian (sic) that certain members of the common herd find funny, has copped for lashing of good old fashioned criticism, poison pen letters, and actual death threats from disability groups due a repetitive use of the word "mong" on the twit’s Twitter feed.

The moronic bore's recent tweets have included such offensive phrases as "Good monging to all our gimps", "Night-night you manky monglets" and the idiotic "Two mongs don't make a right".

However Beverly Titwank, director of the disability charity Kneecapped branded Gervais' tweets as a direct insult against anyone he considered less than perfect, pointing out that such language can perpetuate discriminatory attitudes towards disabled people – and closed her minor diatribe by advising him to take a look in a mirror and then listen to his own televised bloviating blather - that would make a pig spew.

The DS Education International charity claim the word ‘mong’ is a derogatory abbreviation of Mongol, and used offensively to describe people afflicted with Down's Syndrome – informing press hacks that many people would find it just as offensive as profane language related to race or sexual orientation.

This current incident isn’t the first time Gervais – a person of very limited intellect and even less common sense - has caused controversy and elicited complaints for using the word. During a 2010 stand-up show he described the Brian London impersonator cum singer Susan Boyle as ‘a mong with a song’ - but following a hail of criticism apologised and claimed it was all in fun.

Not a man known for admitting fault or the fact he is ever wrong, Gervais has now posted yet another moronic tweet, stating "Well done everyone who pointed out that mong USED to be a derogatory term for Down's Syndrome – but Mong was actually the name of the Neanderthal bloke that came up with the idea of rudimentary cave drainage – and the modern use of the word mong means dopey or ignorant – just like me.”

Gervais reckons he has personally, in his unqualified arrogance, now ‘reclaimed’ the word for his own use – probably along with the terms ‘tosser’ and ‘cunt’

Full of himself, he continued “Faggots USED to mean a bundle of kindling, Gay USED to mean happy, and Fudge USED to mean a type of candy – now they’re all used to describe butt-fucking poofters. Words change. Get over it, you sad fucks."

The ‘funny man’, who harbours a paranoid fixation over dogs pissing on his leg as he walks down a street, was recently described by Knobhead magazine as the type of bloke who gives misanthropes, racists and xenophobes a bad name, has since this latest faux pas against disabled folk been described a being: “a shit for brains moron who’s about as funny as a course of chemotherapy” – and – “It’s a fucking wonder he can still breath, as the self-promoting tosspot’s head is so far up his own arse” – and “he’s a cunt in cunt’s clothing.”

The diminutive Gervais, a former gulley-sucker’s mate, who accidentally got into the entertainment business following an incident at his local Whitley Jobcentre, where he had staff in hysterics while trying to convince them why he should be entitled to welfare and unemployment benefits – with one counsellor advising him “You’re that funny you should be doing a comedy act on the telly – now fuck off!”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 20 October 2011

Libyan Fubar Gets Four-Way Test

The United Nations-sanctioned ‘humanitarian intervention’ blood-letting campaign in Libya by NATO military forces gets Amnesty International’s ‘Four Way Test’.

Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build good will and better friendships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Er, sorry, a big no-no on all points.

Saudi Corruption Scandal Mires Government

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Documents leaked to the Daily Shitraker by whistle-blowing moles burrowing through the registry files of the Serious Fraud Office have revealed that a British defence firm deposited £12 million quid into the Swiss bank account of Prince Ghaban Bala’a il A’air – the notorious kiddie-fiddling Defence Minister of the despotic Saudi Arabian monarchial regime.

The leaked papers provide documented evidence that a mega-bucks ‘baksheesh’ pay-off was made to ensure that New Labour’s Ministry of Defence granted a £2 zillion nicker contract to the UK-based GPT, a wing of EADS, the biggest Illuminati front war-mongering aerospace and arms manufacturers in the known Universe.

A formal investigation by the Serious Fraud Office into the allegations that bribes were paid to corrupt Saudi Arabian officials has been put on hold while the Downing Street Cabinet’s Behavioural Insight Team – aka the ‘Nudge-Nudge – Say No More Unit’ considers not only the criminal but also the dire political implications of allowing the SFO to push ahead with a full-scale investigation and prosecute the bollocks off the guilty parties.

This course of action, decreed as morally and legally constraining under the statutes of good old British Law, might well once again run the risk of a causing a further diplomatic rupture of Biblical proportions with the Saudis over bribery allegations.
Typical of their haughty cultural arrogance, any mention that they treat observance of the civilised world’s rules and regulations governing graft and corruption as an unwanted optional extras will doubtless result in having the supremely hubristic Saudi royals spit the dummy, cross Britain off their Christmas card list, and refuse to sell the UK any more oil – or sand.

In this latest case, Lt Col Genghis McSnitch claims he was sacked by General Billy Bob Batshit, the CEO of GPT, after reporting to the Serious Fraud Office that corrupt Saudi officials had been rewarded with night-time visits to a London orphanage and access to lots of little white boys – besides the regular kick-backs of high class whores, Black Mambo tickler condoms encrusted with conflict diamonds - and 20 foot sea containers full of cash.

A previous SFO inquiry was conducted into allegations of Mid-East improbity, concerning the rumour that BAE Systems ran a £60 million quid slush fund after winning a £40 zillion nicker defence contract from the scumbag Saudis and had also bribed the-then head of Saudi air force, Prince Turki Emakk ibn Himar, in order to secure a further contract to market a 3 for 2 range of the Vatican’s reconditioned ‘Inquisition Finest’ torture equipment to the basket case kingdom – including multi-geared winch racks, electric eye-gougers and digital thumbscrews.

This inquiry was dropped like a hot scorpion with an attitude problem by Lord Goldshit on orders from Tony Bliar’s unscrupulous administration after the corruption-ridden oil rich state threatened to stop the weekly injections of cash into the UK economy - by calling a halt to allowing it’s filthy rich diplomats and scores of royal princes flying over to London on a Friday night for their regular boozing and gambling sessions at the casinos - and whoring excursions around Whitehall’s Horse Guards Parade Barracks – plus pick n mix paedo’ assignations with child sex slaves at the East End’s Slumborough Hamlets orphanage.

Both the SFO’s and Attorney-General’s decision-making abilities have been purposely complicated by changes in legislation, as under the terms of the all-new Bribery Act, the SFO has greater freedom to decide whether to push ahead with a prosecution – but this case of gross improbity committed by GPT / EADS is for some asinine reason covered by the inflexible provisions of the defunct Corruption Act.

Under the terms of the £2 zillion quid contract, GPT was responsible for modernizing the dungeons and torture equipment of the Saudi royal palaces and National Guard – part of which helped the Saudi thugs supporting the despotic Bahraini regime extract the truth from protesters and a host of doctors and nurses concerning the Arab Spring revolutionaries’ real political agenda in Manama last May.

On the orders of the Saudi Foreign Minister, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, their ambassador to Britain, Prince Liwat Manuke Khara has now lodged a series of diplomatic complaints with the UK government for involving the kingdom’s pondscum officials in allegations of bribery and corruption.

Such have prompted Libservative Coalition PM Posh Dave Scameron to stage a brief press conference outside the House of Conmans, where he berated red top tabloid reporters with “Don’t blame us for this fuck up – it occurred on Gordon’s shift – so get on to those bloody oicks at New Labour’s HQ – and that little tosser Eddie Millipede who’s old Cyclop’s boss now.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.