Monday, 24 October 2011

Did Winehouse Die of Old Age?

The Metropolitan Plod Squad this morning confirmed that a highly confidential report into the circumstances surrounding the death of star-crossed singer Amy Winehouse had been sent to a complete stranger.

According to Scotland Yard spokeswoman Chlamydia Mingerot this course of action wasn’t expedited accidentally and yet another Plod Squad snafu as reported earlier, but with purpose aforethought, in the hope of getting an independent neutral and unbiased opinion from a member of the public not involved with the forthcoming post mortem inquiry into what actually snuffed her.

“We were originally contemplating posting a Facebook page for “Amy’s death – what do you think?” – but that might have attracted the attentions of far too many fans with quirky ideas of their own - and not enough impartial opinions.”

While the autopsy toxicology report revealed no really-illegal substances in her system at the time of her death it still remains a matter of conjecture whether or not the singer died of old age.

Since her death, Winehouse's 2006 album ‘Back on the Crack’ has become the UK's bestselling album of the 21st Century – surpassing sales of her contemporary ‘Gone at 27’ club members' releases: Brian Jones, Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain.

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