Brits put Kibosh on Bahrain Trade Seminar

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

British Protesters belonging to Ox-Rat and Amnesty International, the human rights and wrongs abuse watchdogs, motivated by moral conscience, have initiated a blanket boycott, thus making a total fubar of the official Bahraini business seminar in Manchester - casting shadows of ignominy and shame on the city’s Chamber of Commerce for even contemplating the prostitution of ethical principles by hosting any function staged on behalf of Bahrain’s despotic regime - who are currently still engaged in suppressing protests for pro-democratic reforms in the postage stamp island state by the majority - yet marginalised - Shi’te population.

Supporters of Bahrain’s Arab Spring revolution confronted Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, a ranking member of the kingdom’s ruling plutocracy and head honcho of the visiting delegation, as they entered the "Doing Business in Bahrain" seminar at the Bridgewater Hall – normally home to the Halle Orchestra and not a bunch of barbarians and political pariahs whose concept of ‘civilised’ stretches only as far as butt-fucking goats with a condom on.

While chanting slogans against Bahrain’s suppressive regime, unemployed Bolshie protesters out for a spot of aggro, called on the Manchester Chamber of Commerce to halt the sale of security and anti-riot equipments - plus all forms of armaments to the totalitarian regime until political prisoners were released - and protesters out for socio-political reforms that 'had' committed a genuine crime – and not just shouted “Democracy!” over a bullhorn - were tried before a civil court and not a military tribunal - in camera.

Currently, doctors and nurses treating protesters arriving at their hospital’s A & E units are being summarily arrested, tortured and forced to sign sham confessions of their intent to overthrown the established Despotcracy - and then have their sad arses sentenced to ten years hard labour in the island’s Marmite quarries.

Dr Fatima al Sharmuta described how a member of the ruling royal family, Princess Sheikha Noora bint Ibrahim al-Khalifa, was the hard-arsed interrogator following her arrest for the heinous crime of stitching up the battered skull of one student pro-democracy demonstrator who had the audacity to carry a banner stating “We want bread – but willing to settle for cake!” – a sarcastic literary wordplay on Marie Antoinette’s notorious faux pas regarding the marginalised, starving French peasants.

Dr al Sharmuta told one press hack from the War Crimes Gazette “The effin’ bitch had me stripped naked an’ hung from a chain in the middle of the dungeon by me wrists – then beat the shit outa me wiv a rubber hose an’ shocked me snatch an’ arsehole wiv a cattle prod – then gives me her special Abu Ghraib pedicure an’ rips me toenails out wiv a pair of molegrips. Then, after getting’ a bit of a sweat on, she sez if yer don’t sign a confession I’m gonna have yer husband an’ kids chopped ter bits an’ fed ter the dogs – so I sez ‘fuck it’ an’ signed the confession.”

Ox-Rat and Amnesty claim this, and thousands of other alleged human rights and wrongs abuses, are dragging Bahrain's name back into the Middle Ages – a misnomer critics and wits alike jumped on by pointing out the fact that as the Islamic year is only 1432 then it has surely got to be back to the Dark Ages.

The Philistine state, fostered by their British colonial mentors with supposedly the most advanced judicial and educational system in the Gulf, has now gained a most toxic reputation for its suppression of peaceful demonstrations petitioning socio-political and economic reforms.

King Ghaban ibn Himar al-Khalifa, a crapulent old Anglophile vulgarian who studied waterboarding at Sandhurst and was awarded an NVQ1 Diploma in Basic Torture Techniques, is appalled and slightly baffled that nobody loves him anymore or appreciates his constitutional monarchy’s brand of kleptocracy – and appears clueless to the imbroglio presented by this power struggle - a microcosm of the shape of the insurrection yet to manifest and radically change the political order by violent means.

However al Khalifa - the man who still claims hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in Bahrain - doesn’t necessarily hold all the reins of power, as a hard-core ‘Sunni side up’ clique within the plutocratic government wants little or no concessions given to the Shi’ite protesters – labelling them as a bunch of shits.

Conversely, they, in turn, are faced with combating the ultra hard line Sunni faction of the royal household that wants maximum penalties for troublesome Shi’ite demonstrators – (beheading) – branding them (literally) as khaa'in - traitors – and applying lashings of paranoid Zionist black propaganda by accusing them of having more loyalty to Iran than to Bahrain.

Do you live in the Third World basket case fascist state? Have you ever been on an extraordinary rendition flight to Guantanamo Bay? Would you get some kind of sick and perverted sexual kick out of being tortured by Princess Sheikha Noora bint Ibrahim al-Khalifa – and having her squeeze your bollocks until you promised to be good and give up your silly protests? Do you really give a flying fuck about Democracy?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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