Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Wayne Memorabilia Nets Mega-Bucks

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

So, who remembers US actor Marion Mitchell Morrison, a Hollywood icon famous for his numerous film roles in which he attempted to portray a series of ridiculous figures, ranging from a Roman soldier to cowboys, sea captains, pilots, detectives, gunslingers, cattle barons, marshals, and military officers – all called John ‘Duke’ Wayne – and was too the real-life target of Vietnamese snipers, Stalin’s KGB assassins and legions of carping film critics?

The Wayne character epitomized an aura of rugged faggot-bashing masculinity, which many viewed and interpreted as a cover for his own latent closet-case homosexual proclivities and a bent for sheep shagging while into his habitual afternoon drunk sessions.
Wayne’s 150-plus movies, in which he always played the same character, elevated him to the lofty heights of an enduring American icon - renown for his distinctive smoker’s Corncrake voice and the ambling, biased list of his gait and stride – which prompted many to speculate that it looked like he’d just droppped a gnarly wet fart – or simply shit his pants.

This last week has seen an auction of Wayne’s movie memorablila that netted mega-bucks from star-fascinated morons, out to own a piece of the legend himself.
A green beret worn by the late actor in the ridiculous1968 film of the same name - when the moronic White House and Pentagon still thought they had a chance of beating General Giap and his Vietcong forces - sold for $180,000. The eye patch Wayne sported in the 1969 movie True Shit - which netted him the Oscar that Richard Burton was cheated out of by dirty Daryl Zanuck - sold for $47,800. A pair of his jockey shorts, complete with a four inch skidmark and piss stains, worn while filming North to Alaska, went under the hammer for $52,000.

The Heritage Auctions sale, held in Los Angeles and the first of Wayne’s effects since his death in 19979, also saw a record winning bid of $78,000 bucks by the Joe McCarthy Institute for Political Skullduggery for his personal ‘I Hate Communist Scum’ sweat shirt – the same article of clothing in which he was attired to devastating effect during the 1949 filming of She Wore Bright Yellow Knickers – a display of blatant and gratuitous anti-Marxist prejudice which so enraged Joseph Stalin that the Russian leader put out a KGB contract on Wayne’s thick head.

It was also a bonanza day for the firearms aficionados too. Wayne’s Colt .45 Peacemaker model six-shooter, which he never re-loaded once during the 1948 filming of Fort Apache - even though double-tapping several hundred warriors personally and decimating the entire tribe – brought $125,000 bucks and was displayed, post-auction, to ardent Wayne fans by purchaser and movie producer Shylock Scumberg as being a specially modified mini-Uzi capable of discharging 950 rounds per minute cyclic.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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