Thursday 31 January 2013

Dipshit Dobby takes the Tube

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Out and about around London for a glad-handing / meet the peasants one-off photo-op excursion after calling in at Harley Street’s Kwik-Fit branch to book Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Cornhole, in for her annual MOT and a full Botox job of industrial strength vulcanising fluid to take the slack out of her arse and tits, Prince Chazzer and his chain-smoking troll of a royal consort were taken by aides for a ride on the Underground.

Wow! exclaims the pathetic media - it's not every day a British royal couple hop on the tube – but would any fucker or their dog bother with public transport if they had a bunch of serfs at hand to cart you around in the comfort of a sedan chair?

A first for Chazzer, he commented to TfL officials as he sat down, waving his senior citizen travel pass. “Good God – is this a new idea – just been built?” – not having a clue the ‘Tube’ system has been running for 150 years - with Gorgonzilla adding “I don’t know why women complain about this rush hour thingy, standing up and being squashed and groped by some perv' – lucky things – there’s plenty of room on here today and we got a seat quite easily.”

Yeah right, thanks to the close-in security poking MAC-10 Ingram machine pistols in the ribs of the other passengers – which attracted no end of attention from a pick n mix group of vulgar Bulgars and Romanian tourists getting the lie of the land ready for their mass economic-migrant invasion come December this year - when EUSSR work visa regulation expires and they can descend on our once-sceptred isle in their Biblical legions like the job-stealing Polaks who come over to sign on at the Jobcentre’s welfare benefits office then sod off impersonating plumbers for cash-in-hand bodge up repairs - and will make an even bigger fuck up of the British labour market – for the Brits - and the Chinese cockle pickers.

According to the Daily Shitraker, Gorgonzilla later confided that she actually used the underground quite often when in London, to pick up a couple of packs of duty-free Old Holborn rolling baccy from one of her smuggler mates over at Streatham. “Sod the HMRC oicks – like Pestco says ‘every little helps’.”

Obviously not too impressed with the concept of being on the underground, Chazzer whispered to the missus “I think we’ll be getting off before it reaches Stockwell Station, old girl. Wouldn’t do to be mistaken for a Brazilian electrician and get shot by those clots the Met Plod Squad employ for their trigger-happy SO19 Armed Response Unit.”
“Plus one doesn’t want to get blown up with a black pepper and peroxide bomb that one of MI6’s Mohammed al Patsy terrorist types has stashed under the carriage either, now does one.”

So that was it – the Royal Run – not quite the classical London to Brighton rail marathon dash, but a three minute duration single stretch between Farringdon and King’s Cross – where the Prince had everyone in stitches with his wry, public school humour and the comment “King’s Cross? – this is obviously where I get off”.

Walking along the platform with his entourage Chazzer attracted the attentions of a class of elementary school girls on a City outing – with some giggling as they waved, believing it was Dobby from the Harry Potter films – with others exchanging lewd ‘guilty by association’ comments over the red top gutter press tabloids being plastered with photos of him with the BBC’s celebrity kiddie fiddling DJ, Sir Jimbo Savile – and one six-year old asking “Mummy, Mummy, is that Noddy’s gay Brownie friend Big Ears?”

“No dear, that’s Prince Chazzer, the Royal Plant Whisperer – he’s going to be our King when his Mummy pops her clogs.”

Thought for the day. Confucius say “Judge a man by the company he keeps”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 30 January 2013

LTB New DWP Acronym for Disabled

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A Biased Broadcasting Corporation documentary investigation into the politically incorrect antics of a dodgy PFI outfit tasked with delivering the Libservative Coalition government's £5 zillion quid Work Programme has accidentally exposed a stack of hard evidence of their delinquent staff using a most offensive LBT code to describe disabled and jobless persons - apparently a piece of derogatory terminology picked up from actual DWP personnel.

Triage - a key player in the government's fatally flawed scheme to fork out mega-bucks to private companies playing ‘musical chairs’ with the ‘long-term benefits’ sick and disabled segments of Broken Britain’s unemployed demographic – those stigmatised as the rag-arsed pariahs of our sick and corrupt society – the real victims of Crapitalist system - have been outed for rephrasing the LBT acronym to a most derogatory one of ‘Lying, Thieving Bastards’.

Hmmm, this just goes to add to the burden of evidence stacked against the UK’s not-fit-for-purpose Tory-dominated Con-Dem Coalition of political wanabees, losers and all-round dog wankers – what they and their paid minion legions of bureaucrats and jobsworths really think of the working (oops - and none-working classes) – and the utter contempt they regard anyone below their socio-political plane of existence.

Gladys McScatt, who worked for Triage, which operates in Scotland and the north of England, told the Beeb that the deprecatory LBT label was used to describe jobless and disabled clients – with the company using a practice known as 'parking' to keep disabled people on their books as they could charge a higher premium – referred to by insiders as ‘the great gimp and mong scam’.

For dubious reasons known only to the civil service department who contracted these people, Triage has been designated a key player in the Coalition's pipe dream plan to pay PFI companies to do the government’s job for them and get the unemployed off benefits and find them some kind of work in a jobless environment infested with Eastern bloc economic migrants posing as plumbers or willing to work for half the minimum wage.

There are currently two and a half million long-term sick and disabled people in the UK registered as unemployed and costing the government in excess of £13 billion nicker per annum in welfare benefits.
However the Libservative Coalition's ultra-ambitious £5 billion quid Work Programme Stasi agents from Atosspots Wealthcare have identified 68,000 disabled persons in receipt of incapacity benefit who they’ve decided, in their unqualified opinion, are capable of getting off their crippled arses and doing a day’s work for Queen and country.

Ms McScatt further revealed "These disabled money-spinner clients – the ‘ker-ching’ ones wot makes a noise like a till every time yer invoice the DWP wiv their paperwork - would be put on telephone interviews for a job wiv a Swiss bank – or sortin’ out hacked global warmin’ e-mails at East Anglia University - or the Russian Cosmodrome ter get as placement on the International Space Station – anything wot they had no effin’ chance of gettin’ an’ could go down as a job application ter keep ‘em on the Work Programme books an’ the money rollin’ in. Money fer ‘old scrotes’ it woz.”

Ron Knobblehead, 64, from Geordieland, had been unemployed and receiving incapacity benefit for almost nine years before being referred to the Work Programme through Triage last year.

Mr Knobblehead, who suffers from depression, anxiety, a variety of undiagnosed exotic neuroses and galloping paranoia - along with a chronic schizophrenia / split personality disorder - believes that he – or his alter-ego - has been ‘parked’ – claiming he’s only met his adviser on Skype a couple of times and some of the courses he was told he’d be sent on – with one to get an NVQ 1 Chartered Skip Scavvy diploma work experience placing in Djibuti, West Africa - rooting through a landfill site for six weeks – never materialised – and while Triage invoices the government for handling Knobblehead’s casework he maintains his contact with the fly-by-night company has been reduced to the occasional holiday post card or tweet from his adviser.

Bev Titwank, a 69-year old former cage fighter, unemployed since being blinded in a tag team ‘Do-or-Die tourney in Pnom Phen back in 1998, told interviewers “These stupid twats at Triage kept givin’ me the bum’s rush so I kicked off about the parkin’ bullshit an’ they come up wiv a placement as a schools crossing Lollipop Lady. Well, wot effin’ good is that ter me after havin’ me eyes gouged out. I’m gonna get me arse run down by a truck if I step out inter the road – an’ it would be like Russian roulette wiv cars an’ shit fer the poor kids.”

When told the meaning of the acronym on the Triage LTB t-shirt she’d been presented with - allegedly given to those on long-term benefits - Bev spit the proverbial dummy. "Wot a crock of shite. Personally I’m gutted an’ will be talkin’ ter one of them personal injuries lawyers wot chases ambulances about the insult wot’s caused ‘extreme distress’ wiv bein’ verbally abused by a bunch of jobsworth bureaucrats. Wot a bunch of back-stabbin’ twats, just wait til I goes round ter Triage's offices wiv Ripper, me Labrador, an‘ just ferget ter give him his rabies tablets.”

In response to the allegations, Triage spokeswoman Chlamydia Mingerot went into total denial / defensive mode and informed press hacks that "This rumoured LTB is a phraseology neither used or accepted by Triage – and our delivery structure of the Work Programme does not allow for any such thing as 'parking' disabled clients – so don’t listen to anything these lying, thieving bastards tell you.”

Whoops – what a give-away – parking – obviously the terminology does exist.

Thought for the day. Okay, satire over – the Department for Work and Pensions actually has 348 organisations listed on its books, registered as so-called Third Party providers – all tasked with assisting the long term sick and disabled to find work – and being paid mega-bucks out of taxpayer’s funds. Perhaps this is why there are still two and a half million of them still unemployed.
So if we have 348 PFI organisations doing the job of the DWP, what fucking good is the ministry – or the useless twat Ian Duncan Smith, the incumbent Tory MP for Chigley and Camberwick Green, that’s supposed to be running the outfit?

Cutbacks and austerity besides – fuck the 348 semi-autonomous and overpaid PFI’s off and kick Duncan Smith’s arse into gear.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK Mulls Fielding Split-Arsed Troops

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the Facebook page posted by a butch lesbo contingent of the British Army, the MoD should consider following the example of our American cousins over in the good ole US of A and allow women to serve in combat roles – a position hailed and supported by Britain’s most senior female army officer - famous for leading a bayonet charge against rioting IRA hunger strikers in Belfast’s Maze Prison back in the dark Thatcher rule days of 1981, after they went ballistic and launched a fatal assault on a posse of guards - conducting cell searches for hidden spud stocks - with their plastic sporks.

Brigadier ‘Feral Beryl’ McSkanger - who became the first woman to command the all-female 21st Sapphic Sisters Battalion (aka ‘The Dirty Dykes’) following the Mossad / DVD 9/11 false flag attacks which provided the excuse and justification for the invasion of Afghanistan - informed a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that it was wrong to dismiss female soldiers simply on the grounds they have tits instead of a pair of balls.

McSkanger - who retired last December following rumours of her involvement with the torture of prisoners at Iraq’s notorious Abu Ghraib Prison and accusations that she personally sodomised scores of suspected Sunni and Cher terrorists with a twelve inch Randy Rammer strap-on dildo – is of the opinion that “It’s a sodding male thing again, pure and simple - and the objections to split-arsed troops on the front line stinks of chauvinism. The outmoded view being fostered by the MoD claims that women are better confined to performing support roles - such as making pots of tea, darning bullet holes in Kevlar vests - and acting as an acceptable, temporary alternative to self-masturbation.”

This current controversy was sparked following an announcement last week by US Defence Secretary Leon Vendetta – who although still recovering from what the media claims is his third failed face lift surgery procedure - repealed the military's ban on women serving in combat roles, potentially opening battlefront positions for American GI Jane’s to absent-mindedly tread on IED booby traps and get shot by Islamic terrorist snipers while using a compact mirror to check their make-up.

US Congresswoman Tammy Duckfat - a helicopter pilot who lost both legs in Iraq when pupils at the Fallujah primary school she was launching Shitstreak missiles at had the brazen audacity to fire an MPADS FIM-92 Stinger back at her Apache gunship - has been a high profile supporter of allowing women to engage in close combat and suffer all kinds of horrific disfiguring and crippling injuries – plus provide a chance to win one of the ubiquitous nickel and dime Purple Hearts for their pains (sic – no pun intended).

Conversely Major Chlamydia Mingerot of the 14th Crochet Regiment disagrees and claims resources would be wasted trying to train women up to a standard they were unlikely to reach – unless these gung-ho ‘troll’ recruits were prepared to slice off their right breast and go totally Amazon – lugging around a 60-plus pound Bergen filled with a pick n mix assortment of useless ordnance crap better suited for a family picnic or car boot sale than battlefield deployment.

Thought for the day. For fuck’s sake, just look at what they’re like when they snag a sodding fingernail or the wind catches their hair-do – what’s going to be the situation if they get shot or fragged?

Contrary-wise, who the fuck would want to be at the receiving end of an all-female battalion of aggro-bent ex-yobettes if half their number were on the rags and suffering from menstrual tension – or going through menopause?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 29 January 2013

Litter Stasi Fines now Big Business

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s local authority abuse monitor charity, Kunt-Watch, yesterday released a shocking report that fines issued for littering are being used as a cash cow cornucopia to generate ‘stealth revenue’ by councils employing their own private Gestapo squads.

With figures to back up their claims of finger-pointing against corrupt council practices of targeting the hapless public and milking them dry to make up the shortfalls in their piggy bank funds to cover performance bonuses and gold-plated pension schemes since Chancellor Osborne slashed their budgets in the name of ‘austerity’, Fellattia van der Gamm, director of Kunt-Watch, informed one press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that the number of fines issued by Broken Britain’s council’s contracted enforcement officers has rocketed from 727 in 1997 to 63,883 last year.

A much-begrudged Freedom of Information release further revealed that three councils in London – including the New Labour-dominated Slumborough Hamlets - have effectively incentivise private contractors XFOR - part of the Renta-Thug Security Agency chain group and established by a dodgy cabal of ex-Met Plod Squad officers, Eastern bloc ex-Stasi and KGB agents - to issue as many £80 quid fines as possible – with £45 of that sum going into XFOR's pocket.

“These effin’ councils might well resort ter disingenuous statements in an attempt ter deny profiteering claims an’ insist their only goal is ter keep the streets clean. However yer just have ter look at Grotford Green wot’s contracted these XFOR scumbags cos their litterin’ fines shot up from 26 in 2010 ter 2,348 last year - compared ter 122 and 78 in the neighbourin’ boroughs of Slackney an’ Scamden – even though all three’s of a similar size an’ wiv the same demographics.”

"Ciggy butts is a real money-spinner fer these twats cos the Stasi just hide round a nearby corner an’ keep an eye on a bunch of smokers stood at a bus stop an’ watch until some dickhead drops a fag end. Now, cos they’re makin’ such a killin’ outa this scam, councils have got their works departments goin’ round an’ removin’ the garbage bins from bus stops so punters have got no choice but ter stamp their ciggy out an’ drop it in the gutter.”

Bev Titwank, a 16-year old mother of three from south London’s Landfill Common housing estate, while stood waiting for a bus last week, stamped her cigarette butt out and was immediately accosted by two XFOR agents.
“I gets this tap on me shoulder an’ looks round an’ this fuckin’ gorilla sez “That’s gonna cos yer £80 nicker fer not usin’ the trash can”. So I sez “look bollocks - where’s the fuckin’ trash can? – there ain’t any – that’s why I put the fag end out on the pavement.”

“Then the one wiv terminal halitosis an’ acne like a leper leans inter me face, an’ all intimidatin’ like, sez “If yer don’t cough up yer gonna end up in court an’ the Beak’s gonna do yer £2,000 quid an’ then yer gonna have a criminal record an’ the social will come round an’ grab yer kids an’ foster ‘em out ter some paedo’ Tory cabinet minister or a pikey-run child sex brothel.”
“Anyways, luckily I had a couple of stolen credit cards on me so I paid the fine wiv one of them an’ legged it on the next 38 circular bus.”

If one were to apply logic to this matter and offset the accusations of targeting litterbugs to generate revenue then the first course of action would be to inform the offender that if they didn’t ‘pick it up’ they’d cop a fine. Er, sorry, no – cure is better than prevention when it’s raking in the ackers.

Doubtless the public will recall the case of the shiny-buttons PCSO Walter Knobhead who booked a driver for blowing his nose while stopped at traffic lights (hands off wheel) – then went on to issue a fine to an unemployed member of the hapless public £80 for littering when he dropped a £10 quid note. Ah well, that’s the problem with hiring morons with room temperature IQ’s.

If we were to apply a logical approach to these matters (doubtful while Neanderthal cretins and trolls are enforcing local ordinance laws) and make the punishment fit the crime then the fine should have been no more than a tenner – or in a more ‘perfect’ world - “Hey mate, yer just dropped yer money”.

Thought for the day. Fuck the UK’s burgeoning panopticon society and Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-21200058

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Starbucks: The Non-Profit Coffee Shop

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Kris Scumbagsky III, the UK-based managing director of the caffeine addiction multinational, spit the dummy last Friday and ‘demanded’, no less, than to have an up close and personal chat at Downing Street with Posh Dave Scameron himself following the Prime Minister’s caustic reference to companies that needed to wake up to the stench of tax-evading corruption – and avoid an early morning kick on the door visit from HMRC agents.

Scameron’s use of the scathing phrase and its inherent criminal implications during the Davos World Economic Forum in Switzerland last week was taken by the paranoid Scumbagsky as a direct attack on Starbucks - which has copped for a deserved hail of criticism for evading any significant payment of corporation tax in Britain for the past 14 years.

Conversely the disingenuous Scumbagsky - a man stricken with the charisma of a leper colony gatekeeper - claims this is due the fact that the delinquent company have yet to make a profit on sales – and suffering the throes of an anxiety attack due the ‘politicisation’ of the tax evasion issue, when he rang Downing St and spoke to Scabby Bertin, Number 10's chief message troll, resorted to threats of moving the entire UK operation to Somalia or Mali if Dave refused to see him and have a chat over a pot of Nigerian Fair Trade Dark Golly Roast Espresso and a couple of Pikey’s Delight donuts.

One has to speculate - is this guy a total moron? Of course the corporate taxable income issue’s ‘politicised’ – anything to do with the government’s Malthusian policy of milking the public or commercial interests of taxes is, by its very nature, ‘Political’ with a large capital P. That’s what keeps the likes of Chancellor George Osborne smiling, and the Foreign Office and MoD in pocket money to stage their wars of neo-imperialist aggression against all these nasty Islamic dictatorships around the Middle East and North Africa.

Hence if Scumbagsky is to be believed, after 14 years of operations in the UK Starbucks have never cut a profit yet? Well some fucker and their corporate dog need their arses firing for incompetence. WTF are they - a non-profit organisation or registered charity? So what do the board of directors receive when it comes time to share out the annual dividends – a copy of the latest ‘loss-sharing’ scheme spreadsheet?

The company currently employs 9,000 staff at their 500-plus stores spread across the length and breadth of our once-sceptred isle – with 350 in the Greater London area alone.
Since its arrival in Britain in 1998 Starbucks have coughed up, under duress, £8.5 million quid in corporation tax, despite total sales of £3 billion nicker per annum – with Scumbagsky claiming they’d made a profit once in the 14 years of operations.
It would appear that, to all intents and purposes, someone at Starbucks is trying to take the piss – big time.

Stop press: drop the dead donkey. The UK’s Starbucks chain could well face imminent bankruptcy since the Chief Secretary to the Treasury, the ginger-mingin Danny Alexander, has hinted he is boycotting the chain and shifting his caffeine boosting patronage across to Costa Coffee.

Thought for the day. If Starbucks open a branch in the middle of the forest and there’s no-one around apart from the bears, deer and squirrels – could you still smell the coffee?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 28 January 2013

Lib-Dums: Criticism of Israel Verboten

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The misguided Zionist stooges who wield the power behind the throne with the Librarian Dummercrat Party and covertly direct the policies of their Friends of Israel Club have condemned David Ward, the Lib-Dum MP for Bradford, over his reported use of ‘unbecoming language’ in a personal opinion statement concerning Israel's vile, barbaric treatment of Palestinians - posted on his website ahead of Holohoax Memorial Day on the 27th January.

Ward stated for the public record that he was committed to honouring the legions of non-Aryans who died during the Holohoax – Slavs, Sinti Gyppos, Blacks, Pikeys, Soviet POW’s, Esperantists, cottagers and fudgers, cross-dressers, the disabled and retarded, self-thinking dissidents – along with Communists, Pancake Tuesday Adventists, Roman Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses – plus a host of social deviants and other undesirables – including Freemasons, Jesuits, kiddie fiddling pederasts, prostitutes, vagrants, alcoholics, drug addicts, pacifists and draft resisters - and last but not least, the perennial Jewish victims – whose elitist ranks were responsible for funding the nasty National Socialist Party and Hitler’s rise to political power.

However, and here the problem arises, the canny Ward - obviously a man possessed of a moral conscience - had the brazen hubris to point the fickle finger of fate at the Khazar-Ashkenazi Jews of convenience governing the apartheid rogue state Israel – specifically the likes of the PM and Likit Party leader Bobo Nuttyahoo and his ultra-Zionist racist Knesset assembly – all devoid of a single Semitic gene in their DNA – of inflicting similar Naziesque atrocities upon their disenfranchised and marginalised Palestinian captives struggling to survive in the ever-diminishing occupied West Bank on a daily basis – and too the Gaza Strip – with the entire population besieged behind a 30-plus foot high Great Apartheid Wall inside the biggest concentration camp in the known Universe - that surpasses anything Himmler’s SS ever designed - and makes Auschwitz-Birkenau look like a Club Med holiday camp.

The MP’s offending website describes Auschwitz-Birkenau as a Nazi concentration and extermination camp which is the site of the largest mass murder in the history mass murders and probably outdoes even Pol Pot’s best efforts to decimate the population of Cambodia.

The website further indicates that Ward supports the noble efforts to combat prejudice and racism in today’s world by the Holohoax Educational Trust and the Cabaz Schmegegge Holohoax Museum of Israel.

However Ward then added "Having visited Auschwitz twice - once with my family for a barbeque and once with the Rockefeller Eugenics & Genocide Club - I am saddened that the Israeli Jews, who so claim to have suffered unbelievable levels of persecution during the Holohoax, could within a few years of liberation from the death camps, cause the Yawm an-Nakbah (Day of the Catastrophe) and steal the lands of historical Palestine from under the very feet of its rightful owners – and inflict a litany of inhuman atrocities on the hapless Palestinians on a daily basis in the West Bank and Gaza Strip."

“Now the illegal, fascist state of Israel has reduced Palestine to a country robbed of peace and its people bereft of aspirations. Hapless and oppressed, subjugated, usurped, disadvantaged, disenfranchised – and discriminated against.”
“The marginalised Semite Arab Muslim populations of the West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip suffer relentless persecution and human rights abuses under the jackboot of the barbaric Israeli occupiers of their once sovereign state of Palestine – and that is a crime equal in proportion to those that saw the Nazi hierarchy and their underling thugs tried and sentenced at the Nuremberg Tribunals.”

The Lib Dum’s Friends of Israel Club spokesman, Shylock Scumberg, informed one press hack from the Pound of Flesh Gazette that "This is a matter we take extremely seriously and deeply regret and condemn the statement issued by David Ward - and too his cavalier use of the truth which is totally unacceptable in this age of political correctness – and especially so right on the occasion of Holohoax Memorial Day."

Hmmm, perhaps it’s just me, but I’d have thought Holohoax Memorial Day would be the perfect time to expose and highlight this hypocrisy fostered by Israel and international Zionism – and propagated by the kikester lobbies such as AIPAC and the Lib-Dum’s Friends of Israel Club.

This point is especially relevant when one considers that the Israeli Knesset have passed an actual law making it a criminal offence for the hapless Palestinians to commemorate their 1948 Yawm an-Nakbah Memorial Day on the 15th May each year – the start of their Holocaust, their Shoah – the Day of the Catastrophe when the land of Palestine was stolen from them by militant Israeli settlers and the Irgun, Stern Gang and Haganah terrorist groups – a crime that continues unabated to this very day in the occupied West Bank.

Sheldon Scattstein, director of the Holohoax Educational Trust, informed the media "I am offended that Mr Ward has taken it upon himself to draw comparisons and parallels to the myth of Jewish suffering during the Holohoax to that of the Palestinians in the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip – and even suggest the Knesset / IDF ethnic cleansing policy is no more than a slow cook genocide to achieve the Final Solution to Israel’s Palestinian problem.”

Amazing – nobody but the Jews can be ‘victims’. The paranoid, certifiably-psychotic kikesters (those Khazar-Ashkenazi Jews of convenience) running the apartheid state of Israel have monopolised the entire lexicon’s terminology of anything that describes the condition: martyrs, socio-political pawns, underdogs – the fucking lot.
Well, what the fuck does anyone expect from a people who coerced their stooge Roman proxy Pilate to arrest Jesus Christ – God’s one begotten son – and have him nailed on two big lumps of wood?

Let us not lose sight of the fact that this rogue nation state was funded with Rothshite bankster syndicate money to establish a safe haven capital for their global crime empire and ignore the niceties of international law with impunity while every other fucker and their dog running an abusive regime gets the UN jackboot up their arse damn quick (apart from Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Qatar – and the backward Emirates).

To conclude, and in support of David Ward’s website postings, the U.N. Human Rights Commission has been stating since the tragedy of the Israeli-provoked Al Aqsa Intifada in October 2000 that they were gravely concerned over the multiple atrocities inflicted upon the Palestinian people, which it denominated ‘war crimes, flagrant violations of international humanitarian law and crimes against humanity’.

Thought for the day. Unlike whispered dark lies, the truth never fears exposure to the light of day.

The conflicting Auschwitz - Birkenau ‘Holohoax’ plaques:
The original plaque stating that a grossly inflated figure of ‘four million people’ were killed at Auschwitz was removed in 1990 and replaced with a plaque displaying the more accurate figure of ‘one and a half million’ following the release and publication of Auschwitz-Birkenau camp documents captured by the Soviets that revealed the true (and embarrassing) numbers.

So, we are prompted to inquire, WTF happened to the other two and a half million dead Jews? How the fuck did they get misplaced – or was it always just another brazen display of kikester exaggerations - like the stand-alone Sacred Six Million Jews fantasy - to enhance Israel’s world class ‘persecuted victim’ status and generate ‘get away with murder’ sympathy?

Hence on reflection of the grossly exaggerated Auschwitz fatality figures one is left to speculate if the head counts of the other so-called Nazi death camps have been subjected to the same fictionalised and hyper-inflated statistics treatment.

Link: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=63371

Plus a couple of pieces of interesting reading.

‘The Holocaust Industry: Reflections on the Exploitation of Jewish Suffering’ by self-hating Jew Norm Finkelstein.

‘The Invention of the Jewish People’ by Shlomo Sand.

Regardless of their perpetual cultural obsession with things kosher, usury anti-Semitism, the Holohoax - and snipping foreskins – all marks of Jewish essentialism - the tactics of these Israel-based warmongering Khazar-Ashkenazi Yids of convenience - and their US- based AIPAC / Poxman ADL / B'nai Brith lobbyist groups - plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency, due their litany of character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record, the fabrication of falsehoods, and an utter disregard for the statutes of international law – and ‘the truth’.

Hence fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate and their New World Order capital of Jerusalem. Plus fuck Israel and the Great Satan and the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion – or the Project for a New American Century – or the Foreign Policy Initiative or whatever they choose to label this game plan devoted to their Brotherhood of the Snake cult and insidious god of greed: Mammon.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a politically-incorrect hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ ZioNazi psychopaths and may contain elements of sickening Israeli schadenfreude, along with anti-Semitic paranoia, Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of Yidster hudaibiya, kvelling, hasbara and chutzpah - and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – along with nano-particle traces exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a chemtrail residue of bush telegraph innuendo - plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Egypt Solves Soccer Hooliganism

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following the overthrown of Egypt’s despotic Mubarak ‘crime syndicate’ regime and their kleptocratic system of dictatorial misrule administration during the Zionist funded Arab Spring uprisings of 2011, the first democratically-elected president of this perpetual Third World basket case shithole, Mohammed Morsi, wishing for the ‘Land of the Pharaohs’ to be henceforth viewed internationally as a progressive Muslim society - moderate on the Islamic Sharia Law factor but no pussycats either – especially where venal acts of goat bonking zoophilia and other forms of anti-social behaviour are concerned - has directed the Interior Ministry to clamp down on soccer hooliganism by handing out capital punishment sentences to 21 offenders found guilty of fighting with rival fans in February last year.

Specifically, to expedite the autocratic President Morsi’s directives, Judge Liwat Ras al Shitbag of the Egyptian High Court has sentenced to death 21 defendants over clashes involving rival football fans in which 74 people were killed in 2012 following a Premier League match at the Port Said stadium when a catastrophic episode of riotous mayhem broke out between supporters of the al-Masry ‘Neekni Sahrawi’ team and Cairo’s notorious al-Ahly ‘Saracen Scallies’ soccer clubs – with the verdict for the remaining 52 ‘soccer yobster’ defendants scheduled to be announced in March.

The prosecution fielded both eye-witness testimony and CCTV footage which revealed the violence commenced mere minutes after the Port Said staged match kicked off – with deranged ‘Ultra’ fans of the local al-Masry side throwing Molotov cocktails into the midst of a crowd of visiting al-Ahly club supporters – which prompted an outbreak of return fire from the beleaguered fan’s assault rifles – at which point the match referee Khara ibn Zamel waved a bunch of red tickets around then blew his whistle for the game to be abandoned - before being taken out by a sniper in the al-Masry stands.

Following Friday’s surprise verdict, perhaps ironically, to add insult to injury, the High Court ruling sparked violent clashes outside the Port Said Prison, where the convicted soccer hooligans are being held, between capital punishment abolitionists and hard line pro-death penalty advocates - which resulted in a further 17 people killed - including 2 police officers being shot dead by demonstrators - and more than 450 wounded.

Thought for the day. Well, that’s the soft side of Sharia Law – the death penalty verdict could have been worse – more painful anyway (a spot of pre-beheading torture or death by stoning).

Hence will Broken Britain, so determined to replace the stigma of Asbo rulings with a more ‘fitting’ penalty be persuaded to follow the Egyptian model and dish out the death sentence for instances of soccer hooliganism – along with acts of anti-social behaviour, vandalism and generalised delinquency?

Hmmm, the threat of capital punishment for crimes of paedophilia might perhaps persuade Tory cabinet ministers and BBC DJs to keep their pricks in their pants and deter them from participating in this institutionalised British establishment culture of sexually molesting children - and if adopted across the entire EUSSR community, make the likes of Brussels high panjandrums think twice about kidnapping little girls in Portugal for their Satanic sex abuse and child sacrifice rituals.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 27 January 2013

Elitist Trolls Push Population Cull

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The latest and greatest over-population study undertaken by the raving bonkers global genocide proponents Paul and Anne Ehrlich is now calling to implement drastic efforts to supply all sexually active human beings – Third World shag-a-holics and otherwise - with free access to modern contraception and backup abortions in yet another futile effort to reduce fertility worldwide and hence stem the runaway births of useless eaters.

Hmmm, that idea’s going to go down like a duck full of lead shot in Roman Catholic nations and with a variety of fundamentalist religions including Islam and the Pancake Tuesday Adventists.

In their latest report entitled ‘How to Save the World for the 1% Rich & Shameless’, madcap eugenicist Ehrlich and his hormone-deficient menopausal maniac of a wife repeat their disproven and now threadbare mantra that global population growth is certain to be the catalyst that causes the collapse of our greed-driven Crapitalist civilization (sic) - and only a concerted effort to abide by the instructions carved into the Rockefeller’s Georgia Guidestones and culling the human herd from an ungainly 99% down to a mere 5% micro-chipped slave labour level might avert this latest predicted catastrophe.

The official website of Dobby Windsor, the Prince of Wales, commends this latest flawed population study, which for some skewed reason ended up being published in the January edition of the Proceedings of the Royal Society.
On his website blog Prince Chazzer writes: “We do, in fact, have all the tools and assets to expedite this course of action and do the job – wire coat hangers and knitting needles – just like Granny used on servant sluts who got themselves up the duff.”

And there Dobby / Chazzer – aka the Royal Plant Whisperer – is not the first of his mongrel lineage to promote or pursue this genocidal philosophy as father Prince Stavros of Edinburgh once publicly declared, in a fit of his customary arrogance, that he classed the common herd as a scourge upon the Earth – a veritable plague – and wished to be reincarnated as a deadly virus to wipe out all the world’s ‘useless eaters’.

Now here’s the crunch – it all depends on who classes whom as a useless eater. Some spiritually-connected animist hunter-gatherer in the mountain forests of New Guinea – or the Amazonian highlands – or the materialistic-focused blue-blooded parasites who, generation upon generation, claim a tithe of the public purse as their own by divine right to rule.

And this conundrum we can document with ease back into time immemorial – and at a glance from the congenitally insane huck-a-back hunchie mutant maniacs of the Plantagenets to our present day Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg McWindsor loopy lizard mongrel bloodline.

Really, has anyone ever wondered if these elitist twats pushing the Agenda 21 eugenic and human cull / euthanasia programmes ever glance in a mirror as they all look like they’ve been swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool for a couple of generations too long. For here we have a cabal of slack-jawed mutants stricken with the IQ of a small potted plant and congenital insanity due being interbred to a state of genetic dysfunction and with an overload of mongrel genes in their DNA.

Anyone remember the likes of Hitler and Himmler – not exactly your Aryan Übermensch stereotypes – pushing this scheme – nowadays it’s Rockerfeller and Kissinger and old Virus Man, Prince Stavros of Edinburgh – along with a veritable horde of like-minded holier-than-thou scumbags - all a bunch of frogs who dream of becoming toads – and it would take more than a kiss off a Princess to sort out their fucked-up inbred genes.

To wit, both Dobby – another royal capon - and Ehrlich – a self-promoting pseudo-academic whose every futuristic prediction has turned out to be more at scent than substance - resemble something from a Grimms fairy tale nightmare – slack-jawed, bat-eared and pointed beaks – with that give-away glow of righteous insanity beaming from their eyes.

Once again it all comes down to saving the Earth. However our planet doesn’t need saving, Mother Nature / the Gaia Principle is doing fine, and the Schumann resonance continues at a constant, steady and healthy hum.
The problem lies with progressive humans in positions of power who worship before the altar of their dark god Mammon and need to control every waking and sleeping instance of our lives - while they bleed us dry of blood, sweat and tears – and not necessarily in that precise order.

Just like the Hitlerian Nazis – first the physically and mentally disabled, then the sick then the aged, then the critical thinkers and dissenters.
Okay, nice one boys – population cull it is – and we’ll start with the proponents of your mass euthanasia / genocide scheme – so which of the blue-blooded mutants is gonna volunteer first?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Bo Peep’s Flock Go AWOL

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A flock of 28 stray sheep found, sans shepherd or collie dog, wandering aimlessly around the car park of a Pestco Greedy Grocer supermarket chain branch outside the village of Old Scrotum in Smegmadale, were herded by moronic Plod Squad officers responding to a ‘Sheep Alert’ 999 call into the nearest private garden that sported an actual gate and fences for safe-keeping – until some farmer type turned up to report their disappearance at the station’s lost property desk.

However, Ron and Slutella McScrote, owners of the house and garden, informed a press hack from the Sheep Shaggers Gazette that the first they knew of this contrived ‘arrangement’ was when they returned from their Christmas holidays on the Costa del Dago last week and found the flock of woolybacks ravaging their garden plants and lawn.

“Me an’ Slutella woz absolutely gob-smacked when the taxi dropped us off from the airport an’ I walks up the drive an’ all these effin’ sheep come round an’ start chewin’ at me duty free bags. Talk about goin’ ballistic an’ spittin’ the proverbial dummy – pissed off wasn’t even in it.”

Mrs McScrote added “It’s not fuckin’ good enough, the effin’ plods turnin’ a flock of stray sheep inter some poor sod’s garden cos they can’t find the owner. They should have rung up the RSPCA or whatever they do fer lost sheep an’ had them come an’ round them up wiv one of them sheepdog thingys. Just look at the state of me effin’ garden – they woolly twats have scoffed all me plants and shrubs.”

“Mind you, an’ don’t say owt ter the effin’ plods, I woz of a mind ter call up the local butcher an’ have him come down an’ take care of the problem cos me an Ron’s got a whoppin’ freezer an’ the price of lamb’s fuckin’ ridiculous. I mean, even if it is mutton an’ a bit tough yer can always curry the shit an’ make a good rogan josh outa it – an’ I’ll bet that Acchmed's Indian take-away in town would be up fer a few dead sheep goin’ at half price per kilo.”

Husband Ron confided “I opened the gate an’ tried ter chase the fuckers out again a coupla times but they seemed ter like it here – even when I put on me wellies an’ started ter taunt ‘em wiv a tube of KY Jelly they all gathered round an’ seemed quite turned on with the suggestion. Same when I stuck a jar of mint sauce under their noses an’ started whisperin’ ‘lamb chops’ they took no effin’ notice. Bloody fearless – or totally brain dead – one or the other. Could have bin worse though – the plods might have shoved a herd of lost pigs in here instead.”

On Friday, a spokeswoman for the Smegmadale Plod Squad informed the media that the force were very grateful to the McScrote family for providing board and lodgings for the sheep – and their patience – and a certain Ms Bo Peep would be calling round later with a truck to collect her wayward flock of woollies.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-21202166

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 26 January 2013

Renta-Thug Bailiffs to be Regulated

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Chris Graything, the Tory Justice Secretary, yesterday informed a press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that he was proposing a review of the laws governing debt collection to tackle aggressive bailiffs in England and Wales - while north of the border in bonny, devolved Nonceland, the old system of room temperature IQ gorillas kicking in people’s doors and seizing anything that isn’t nailed down will continue unabated unless First Minister Alex ‘Three Chins’ Salmond gets off his lardy arse and clamps down on the antics of the likes of the notorious Hamish ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher and his Neanderthal Collections crew. But don’t hold your breath on that one.

Under Graything’s proposed revision of legal statutes, bailiffs will be banned from entering homes after dark or where only single mothers and their children are present - or granting a week’s stay of discharging the court order in return for a quick suck n swallow blow job or knee trembler.

Further, new safeguards will prevent them from carrying pickaxe shafts or crowbars and using ‘excessive’ force against people who owe money – such as poking pensioners with sharp sticks, water boarding Grannies – or ripping the wings off their budgies and tossing pet cats onto the coal fire to intimidate them into coughing up their pension money.

Bev Titwank, director of the Twat-Watch social abuse monitor charity, opined to the media “What we’ve been petitioning to achieve for the past five years is the formation of a code of conduct where these out of control bully boy bailiffs must say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – and most definitely ‘’excuse me’ before they tip some hapless bed-ridden pensioner on the floor and steal their bespoke memory foam mattress to offset the interest on the mega-bucks fine imposed for not paying the television licence renewal.”

“There are simply too many instances and third party witnessed reports of the Renta-Thug Security Agency’s barbarians – all with the intelligence of a small potted plant and social graces of a pack of scavenging hyenas - kicking in some hapless fucker’s front door and grabbing their telly as payment for last month’s exorbitant council tax bill.”
“Add to this the fact there’s currently no set training standards for bailiffs, with the only listed qualification required being an NVQ1 diploma in Cage Fighting – or former employment as a Welfare Officer at Iraq’s notorious Abu Ghraib Prison - and while I don’t know about ‘certified bailiffs’ most of the vulgarian scumbags we’ve encountered were ‘certifiably’ insane Philistines of the first order of magnitude.”

Feral Beryl McSkanger, a sixteen-year-old mother of three from Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill sink or swim council housing estate, told an interviewer from Channel 69’s ever-popular primetime ‘Debts to Die For’ programme that the fees charged by bailiffs were ‘extortionate’ – a most fitting descriptive term for the practice of ‘extortion’.

“These ham-fisted shitbags comes round here an’ behaves like utter pigs. The first time they were here last month they nicked the kid’s bikes an’ me barbeque an’ the effin’ sunbed – now I’m startin’ ter look like Morticia effin’ Adams.”
“So I though ter meself – fuck ‘em – so when they comes back again the other day I sez ‘Oh fer fuck’s sake, don’t take me BMW as well’ - an’ looks at the ragtop Beemer parked opposite – so they goes an’ starts ter clamp it – then the drug dealer bloke from next door wot owns the effin’ motor comes out an’ tears inter the pair of the twats wiv a length of iron pipe an’ me an’ the kids is pissin’ ourselves laughin’. Then when the ambulance comes we act pretty sharpish like an’ gets our telly and jacuzzi and stuff back outa their van – an’ me boy friend swings by an’ nicks their GPS an’ stereo an’ siphons all the petrol out of the tank.”

So Ms McSkanger came off lightly and with a smile of exacting retribution on her face when we consider the plight of Candida Mingerot from Smegmadale-on-Sea who fell foul of the infamous Michail Sackashit, owner of Pikey Repossessions, who snatched her 12-year old twin daughters in part payment for an overdue PayDay loan - who were blindfolded, gagged and handcuffed then tossed into the back of a white Transit van, driven down to Barnes in south-east London and put to work at a child sex slave bordello run by Granny Kasir, a disreputable madam servicing the kinky libidinous tastes of pervy cabinet ministers.

Thought for the day. Hmmm, there must be an applicable Micawberish moral to this debt / bailiffs dilemma? Penny wise – pound foolish, perhaps? Or are we all doomed due the fatally-flawed Crapitalist system that has morphed into a monstrous Debtocracy?
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Scameron: PM Speak With Forked Tongue

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Con-Dem coalition Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron's promise of a ‘wham-bam’ in-or-out referendum on Britain's membership of the fatally-flawed EUSSR 27-state ‘Common Insolvency’ soviet model collective has sparked a furious shit fight not only in Brussels but also around the hallowed halls of Westminster.

Mick Clogg’s Librarian Dummercrats have struck out in their customary deranged fashion, stating such a move is not in their political interest as it will dry up the MEP / Brussels gravy train expenses cornucopia – while New Labour’s child prodigy leader Ed Millipede accused Scameron of running scared of the indestructible Nigel Barrage’s UK Independence Party (UKIP) and his own Tory Party backbenchers who are set to rebel big time and elect a new leader with some semblance of credibility who doesn’t keep harping on about Utopian Big Society’s and hugging hoodies.

During a soundbite-ridden speech in London, Posh Dave informed a crowd of slack-jawed Hooray Henrys and applauding sycophants that the Conservative manifesto for the 2015 general election will request a mandate to negotiate a new settlement for Britain’s continued membership of the EUSSR Debtocracy – to be put to voters in a referendum before the end of 2017 – by which time hopefully every fucker and their dog will have been drunk a dozen times, spaced out on hard drugs and become totally addle-brained with watching reality telly - and all developed selective memory syndrome or alcoholic amnesia – with a state of generalised apathy setting in so they won’t even remember anything about a referendum or care less what the fuck happens over Europe.

The bloviating Scameron is hawking a fairy tale that he’s the good guy and wants to scrap the Lisbon Treaty then reform the EUSSR for all the 27 member states - especially the penniless Greeks who don’t have two euros to rub together since they were ‘austerity-ised into total penury by the Rothshite crime syndicate’s IMF and the shifty shylocks at the European Bank of International Usury.

Conversely the Lib-Dum’s Deputy PM Mick ‘Turncoat’ Clogg informed press hacks that “Posh Dave speaks with forked tongue – this rash in/out referendum banter was only supposed to shut the common herd up whingeing – not be taken seriously – and is going to drive a stake into the heart of the Con-Dem coalition.”

“For God’s sake, Dave’s losing the plot if he’s actually trying to do the right thing for the working class voters, as if they really matter in the greater scheme of things. The way he’s been behaving recently it might be a sign of heading for some sort of psychotic episode – or a nervous breakdown. But that’s what happens with all this selective blue-blood inbreeding that the Tory nobility practice – you get squirly kids.”

Hmmm, regardless of what pointless propaganda Cloggy or Millipede might spout to the public assembly just to be contradictive of Scameron’s referendum pledge and make themselves look good for the media cameras, a pity they didn’t engage brains before opening their respective gobs and realise that these independent contrary commentaries will doom them at the next general election as the British public want a referendum with a one-off in/out vote and no pussyfooting around anymore as they’re proposing.

The view from the eyes of a disillusioned street smart and canny British proletariat has evolved into one that our stagnant society is mired in this cesspit of Tory or New Labour (bad as Old Labour – if not worse) or the Librarian Dummercrats (formerly Liberal Poofter Party / Social Dummercrats) political party rule – and currently a chaotic potpourri of a fucked-up Con-Dem coalition - with the only breath of ‘hope and change’ (no, not that Indonesian Muslim cuckoo twat Barky Obama) perhaps lying with Nigel Barrage and his ultra euro-sceptic UKIP gang – or even Nick Griffin and the National Hatred Party to provide a guaranteed exit from the EUSSR.

Otherwise it’s all down to a total socio-political insurrection – an uprising and revolution by the pissed-off masses – and these things, from past historical experience, are never expedited without the streets running with the sanguine gore of the establishment oppressors from the Second Estate – nobility and government – along with the blood of patriots.

In contrast, opinions from a pair of independent, albeit self-serving sources, are also of conflicting views – proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that human nature being what it is, no two fuckers can ever agree on anything.

London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense, a popular career buffoon, informed press hacks that the British people had not been consulted on Europe since 1975 - when the repulsive kiddie fiddling Ted Heath tricked the public into accepting the Common Market as a panacea for all economic ills - and it’s high time they were – as “Dave can always hold a referendum like the Irish did – and if they vote ‘no’ then hold another until they get fed up and vote ‘yes’.”

However former EUSSR Trade Commissioner and disgraced New Labour cabinet minister, Lord Scandalson of Old Fudgers (aka Vermin in Ermine), speaking to media reporters following his regular Friday afternoon ‘therapy session’ at Granny Kasir’s Elm Guest House on Rocks-Off Lane, opined that “Scameron is a capricious hypocrite, roosting so arrogantly in 10 Downing Street and promising the common herd an in/out referendum vote – or ‘democratic mandate’ – call the sodding thing what you will - on continued EUSSR membership when his plan is to force the resignations of eurosceptic Tory ministers if they decide to campaign for Britain to leave the European community come canvassing time for the next election.”

“Brussels are going to give Scameron shit, so if he fails to win this newly-negotiated deal on the terms he’s stipulating then what, might we inquire, will be his back-up strategy to meet this defeatist scenario – go along and side with the 100-plus Tory MPs who want to vote for an exit and kiss Europe’s arse bye-bye?”

Thought for the day. How do we know when Scameron’s lying? His lips move.
Alas, for all his blather, there’s only one person in Posh Dave’s political life – and that’s Dave. Really, what a disingenuous woofler– a bit like Tony Bliar – ‘trust me – I’m a pretty up-front, straight-forward sort of guy’. Bullshit.

The only way Scameron and his Tory Club are going to get re-elected in 2015 is if they can turn water into wine and guarantee Britain will once again be blessed with Indian (barbeque) summers.
Regardless, fuck this tardy 2017 timescale – we want the referendum now – immediately if not sooner – so we’re out before Easter - 2013.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 25 January 2013

MoD Hit by Wave of Kleptomania

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a most embarrassing aside at the House of Conmans yesterday, Defence Secretary Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond, the incumbent Tory MP for Runnynose, was labelled as a being a grossly incompetent tosser in his management of the MoD after New Labour’s Chief Backbiter Frank ‘Pitbull’ McSkanger took to his feet to announce for the Hansard record that he held in his hands a copy of a damning report leaked by army whistle-blowers - that a military training centre in Smegmadale has misplaced more than 8,000 pieces of equipment - including 115 bayonets - since the Libservative Coalition took office in 2010.

The list revealed that 8,312 items, including a baker’s dozen count of L109A1 HE fragmentation grenades, scores of L10 Ranger anti-personnel mines and several miles of coiled razor wire – along with 2,860 pieces of V & A crockery and mixed cutlery (knives, forks, spoons – and ‘sporks’) have gone missing from the Knobhead Hill Commando Centre – a factor that biased in-house auditors, Jackdaw & Fagin Ltd, in a kitten-shitting attempt to conceal the glaring discrepancies, have put down to a simple accounting aberration due the regular Quartermaster leaving the stock ledgers in a bit of a mess after he inadvertently climbed out of bed one morning and trod on a primed L9 bar land mine that happen to be lying around on the floor.

Laughter reverberated around the House as Labour’s McSkanger read from the report’s list of wayward items, which included 470 Arctic combat clothing and footwear kits, 781 Tog 16 duvets – along with a 20-foot shipping container filled with skis, plastic toboggans, snow shovels and ‘Happy Rudolph’ reindeer biscuits - all being dispatched to Benghazi during the illegal invasion of Libya in 2011 – and which the MoD had made a recent, albeit futile, attempt to have shipped back to Blighty when the weather turned to shite last week and the UK’s army camps were inundated with snow and no means of clearing it.

In his ‘defence’ (sic/no pun intended) Hammond, previously shadow minister for skateboard affairs, claimed the missing fragmentation grenades had probably not been primed correctly and hence failed to ‘blow up’ after being thrown during a practice bomb-tossing drill – and had doubtless now been picked up and recycled to some Third World mercenary group as practice ordnance items by pikey scrap scavengers – along with the missing 600 magazine assemblies for SA80 rifles.

Responding to cat calls from the opposition benches of “Wot about the effin’ bayonets, then?” Hammond claimed that bayonets were not regarded as weapons by the military - although conceded that if one of the Plod Squad’s officious thugs saw someone walking down the High Street with one fixed to the end of an assault rifle they would probably get arrested.

However old Dandruff’s pathetic attempt to shrug off the stock discrepancies was given short shrift by McSkanger who continued to quote from the leaked report – citing an instance that one Sergeant-Major Harry ‘Gnasher’ Nosdork, of the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment, had been abducted by Oxford students during Rag Week as a bit of a mock kidnap stunt and never returned nor seen since.

“This lack of oversight is an insult to the taxpayers, and the list of missing kit gets worse the more one reads. We have body bags being pilfered from the mortuary and used by closet case necrophiliacs for some perverted purpose or the other – plus a full case of booby trap issue exploding hedgehogs earmarked for the Free Syrian Army rebels went missing from Aldershot Barracks arsenal and turned up on the shelves of Harrods toy department last Christmas.”

“This just isn’t petty theft or klepto’ scallies pocketing stuff, it comes down to a total lack of administrative nuance. Why, I ask, were four Trident missile launch carriers – complete with missiles aboard – sent off for their MOT and annual service at Mr Mohammed’s WMD repair shop – then according to MI6 turned up at a customs post on the Paki-Afghan border six weeks later being driven by a crew of Taliban truckies?”

“Then to cap this calamity we have the matter of an undetermined number of the RAF’s F-35 JCA fighter jets that can no longer be accounted for in Afghanistan and are rumoured to have been shot down while transhipping raw opium from Bellend Province to Bangkok for processing into heroin.”

“Last but by no means least, can Minister Hammond perhaps shed any light on the matter of the Astute class nuclear-powered hunter-killer submarine that went AWOL from HMNB Clyde in bonny Scotland last November - complete with 16 Lockheed Trident D5 SLBMs carrying a full complement of nuclear warheads – and has since turned up in a West African maritime scrap yard?”

Thought for the day. On a sober, sarcasm-free note, back in 2011 the MoD was accused by the National Audit Office of losing track of assets worth £6:3 billion quid - including £184 million knickers-worth of Bowman battlefield radios. The actual truth surpasses wild satire.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Britons Urged to Leave Benghazi

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK Foreign Office has advised British nationals to get their arses out of Libya immediately if not sooner - specifically the chaotic Benghazi trouble spot - in response to specific threats to white infidels by gangs of well-armed Muslim terrorists who hate Western democratic freedoms (and each other by the look of the heaps of fly-infested Arab corpses dotting the entire sectarian warzone landscape).

The FO has been counselling against travel to Benghazi and other fucked up provinces of Libya since last September when Barky Obama’s kidnap / hostage negotiations re-election PR stunt went tits up in a spectacular Busby Berkeley fashion and the Muslim Brotherhood's Rent-a-Riot mujihadeen mob dragged US ambassador Chris Stevens out of the consulate there, then subjected the hapless diplomat to a typical Arab style gang rape bonding session before lynching him and chopping the body into bite sized lumps for the street dogs.

(State Department lies and propaganda besides, Stevens ‘did not’ die of smoke inhalation due being trapped inside the burning consulate building)

Hmmm, so much for the Great Satan and their Coalition of the Warmongers ousting then sanctioning the extra-judicial murder of Colonel Gaddafi and overthrowing his disciplinarian Libyan Arab Jamahiriya regime that fostered Pan-Africanism and had kept law and order since 1969 following the expulsion of the graft and corruption-ridden Zionist sock puppet stooge King Idris.

Thus, with reflections on the Arab Spring uprisings and the recent neo-colonial invasion of Mali and false flag terrorist attack in Algeria last week – perhaps, given 20/20 hindsight, it was a dumb-assed mistake for the West to have armed every fucker and their dog on Libyan soil (correction/sic – 'sand') – and now it might be necessary to resort to a spot more gunship / drone diplomacy – if the UN are up to signing off on yet another disastrous round of US / NATO-led ‘humanitarian intervention’.

Thought for the day. Yes, yet another latter day imperialist blood n guts fubar that won’t be receiving many international accolades – although Barky Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize regardless of his Presidential hit list and authorising a programme of extra-judicial MQ-9 Reaper UAV hunter-killer drone attacks that snuff any fucker old enough to scream and bleed.

To wit, fuck the Great Satan and NATO and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 24 January 2013

Scabby Abbott: Brit Culture ‘Pornified’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Now here’s a new word for the Oxford English Dictionary compilers to consider – the gospel according to New Labour’s bloated shadow ill-health minister, Diane Abbott, taking a break from her usual racist-orientated, tedious jeremiads against ‘white trash’ – speaking at the Chicken Little Institute for the Promotion of Mass Hysteria earlier this week pronounced that the stalwart British Anglo-Saxon culture (wot that?) has become ‘pornified" and is ‘hyper-sexualising’ our once-sceptred isle’s youth.
Hmmm, quick step back – take another look. Wow, excuse moi - that might just be ‘two’ new words. WTF is hyper-sexualising?

So, the lard-arsed Jamaican mama (an obese but well balance dark brown person - with a whopping colour-orientated chip on each shoulder) is off again on a holier-than-thou rampage, spouting any old garbage to get her triple-chinned face noticed and spread across the gutter press tabloid pages – but today directing her venomous diatribes at others rather than her customary taxi drivers and rich white boy targets.
This time around Dizzy Diane claims – in her personal, unqualified opinion – that the rise of sexual bullying via "sexting" - when people send sexually explicit text messages with piccies of exposed genitalia attached - is a result of the moral decline of our civilisation brought about by this Scrapheap Challenge of a coalition government posh honkeys from the Home Counties not ensuring that internet access is adult porno-restricted.

Point of correction required here for the unctuous Abbott and her flawed, one-size-fits-all approach to every fucking thing. We used to have laws against this type of filth – and to publish, transmit or display such was a criminal offence. However to expedite their ‘end game’ Big Brother state the powers that be decided the creation and maintenance of a dysfunctional society was required – hence the wholesale disruption of British cultural mores was slotted into the agenda with the availability of drugs, the decriminalisation of homosexuality, hard porn – and the promotion of a multi-cultural society by allowing any fucker and their dog from Third World basket case shitholes to come and settle here.

Apropos actual pornography’, this moral laxity kicked off with the open / public sale of Lady Chatterley’s Lover then soft porn Playboy with a scrubbed-out centrefold muff – and devolving morally to the likes of Hustler displaying hirsute gashes that resemble a black tomcat with its guts slashed open - and Dirty Desmond’s ‘Cum Sucking Wives’ on Sky’s Filth Channel.

Hence overt, public displays of sexuality are no longer frowned upon and simply viewed as part of an evolved and enlightened liberation.

In all truth perhaps it would be more fitting to blame the decline of the moral lobby to this vague shadow of its former Scary Mary Shitehouse and Frank Longford days of awe on government legislators – and especially so on New Labour’s fudging ministers living openly and in sin with their Brazilian catamites – and the likes of PM Ted Heath and a gaggle of Tory cabinet ministers for setting a very bad example by frequenting gay guest houses with their rent boys - and going around child care homes, sodomising children.

Abbott, whose opposition bench brief covers ‘pubic health’ (sic) claims that nine out of every ten British parents believe children were having to grow up too early, with 40% saying they had seen things in public places - while peeping through the bushes at Doggers Wood – or in Anne Summers sex toy store window displays or Victoria’s Secret advertisment hoardings, which they felt were inappropriate for children to be exposed to due their sexual content.

In a pathetic effort to add support to Abbott’s contentious facts, the head of the Mothers' Union, Candida Mingerot, carried out an independent review for the Pederast’s Gazette last year, looking at the pressures imposed on children by modern day society to grow up too quickly – such as finding out that the shitbag Libservative Coalition government has slashed their parent’s Child Tax Credits and other welfare benefits to zero to pay for the invasion of Libya and the funding of the Free Syrian Army rebels - so it’s goodbye to Xbox games, DVD rentals and the healthy 5 a day KFC / McD’s chew n spew take-aways – and back to a diet of noodles and Pestco’s cheap crap horsemeat burgers – or a freebie school lunch of toxic Turkey Twizzlers.

Notorious on the opposition benches for her unchecked bromidrosis and gluttonous behaviour in the House of Conmans dining room, Abbott informed one press hack from the Kiddie Fiddlers Review that she had increasing concerns over the commercialisation and sexualisation of children, the ease with which graphic pornography can be accessed through the internet - and the way in which young people use text messages and emails to exchange sexually explicit images of their contemporaries.

"Of course, sex is great – especially after watching a raunchy porno movie on the bedroom telly. But this should be a private thing and not ‘pornifying’ everyday school life – and girls shouldn't be forced to do things they don't feel comfortable with – like having to suck and swallow on an empty stomach – or take it up the bum if they’re already constipated."
“In 2009, the Beat-Bullying charity found that over a third of young people had received a sexually explicit text or email, with the majority of these coming from their actual teachers or celebrity DJs, BBC producers, Tory Monday Club members and Rochdale-based taxi drivers.”

So, can any fucker take Abbott seriously? This former Race Relations Officer at the National Council for Coloured Whingeing Twats - and now the New Labour MP for Hackers - is a class act vulgarian who claims top end Parliamentary expenses of £142,000 per annum on top of her £65,000 MP’s salary. Thus yet another trough-wallowing porker when it comes to Parliamentary expenses as there is no such thing as ‘enough’ with these scumbags – just ‘More!’

Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Abbott or her neurotic menopausal condition of ‘Odi Ergo Sum’ - however it has been unanimously agreed by a conclave of clinical psychologists that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Thought for the day. Abbott claimed, at a 1988 black studies conference in Philadelphia, US of A, that the British invented racism. This typical gobshite comment yet again highlights her ignorance and unsuitability to hold public office – and too her lack of historical study, anthropology – and the culture and customs of the ‘caste-ridden’ Indian sub-continent – where racism has been evolved into an actual art form – from bonkers Brahmins at the apex of their society to dodgy untouchable Dalits that serve as doormats – and a bunch more in between.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of nano-particle cynicism and genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Nuttyahoo Slithers Back into Power

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Exit polls following Israel’s general election - with a preposterous 34 unaligned political parties fielding candidates for public office so they too can grab a share of the graft and corruption gravy train’s cornucopia - are indicating that the Likit Party leader Bobo Nuttyahoo and the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Edomite Mafia coalition led by disgraced former Genocide Minister Avigdor Lieberscumm (awaiting trial on charges of being a right nasty cunt) have lost eleven seats in the 120-member Knesset, leaving them with a total of thirty-one.

In a gob-smacking surprise, the secular centrist Yesh Atid Party came second with a Flatbrokes bookies and gyppo crystal ball predicted 19 seats – followed by the Rabid Rabbi’s Transplant Organ Party with 17 seats – a political Catch 22 snafu that will involve weeks of the customary kikester camel trading and wheeler-dealing to form a new cabinet that can agree on anything unless barrow-loads of filthy lucre start changing hands.

The clinically insane Nuttyahoo called for early elections last October after the mad dog coalition had failed to come up with a Final Solution to the Palestinian problem and how much land to steal in the occupied West Bank and Jerusalem for their continuing illegal settlements drive – all of it in one fell swoop and ‘disappear’ the rightful Muslim Arab inhabitants – or continue with the tip-toe encroachment method of evicting and bull-dozing one village at a time.

While the duplicitous Nuttyahoo has stated for the public record that he might be prepared to work with the new Yesh Atid (Play Fair) Party as a junior coalition member – the party leader, TV personality Yair Lapid, has demanded the reform of a loophole law under which slimy students posing as ultra-Orthodox Jewish seminarians can dodge compulsory military service to save their craven arses getting shot at by Hamas or Fatah terrorists.

Further, Lapid has sworn his party will only join a government coalition that is prepared to dispense with the international ‘apartheid brand’ stigma and is committed to reviving the peace process with the Palestinians – a factor which obviously buggers up any chance of them siding with the Muslim / Arab / goyim-hating Nuttyahoo and his Khazar-Ashkenazi secular Jews of convenience racist Likit Party.

To rub salt in the flesh wounds, the Yesh Atid Party are bent on scrapping the government’s Ministry for Expropriation of Palestinian Lands and the criminal policy of bulldozing West Bank homes and farms by declaring them ‘Closed Military Zones’ – plus implementing a halt to this barbaric policy of punitive collective punishments forged against the hapless populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip every time they dare complain to the UN about their inhuman treatment – or ask for recognition as a nation.

So Nuttyahoo’s chances of forming a coalition majority might best lie with the ultra-nationalist Palestine Beitenu (Palestine is our Home) Party – and / or the ultra-nationalist Rosh Tahat (Lunatic Fringe) Party - which rejects the notion of an independent Palestinian state - as does the Half-Cock Ethnic Cleansing Party , and too the ultra-Orthodox O’chel Batachat Party – along with the centrist Burn the Goyim Party led by the spank-eyed former Foreign Minister and wanted war criminal Tipsy Livid.

So that’s the election done for Israel – the only country on Earth with a wall round it – run by crypto-Jews that promote the insidious cult of Zionism and political racketeering – with Jerusalem as their crime empire capital.
Doubtless the cheers and kudos will now resound across the Great Satan’s AIPAC-dominated political and media expanse – – and too the UK Tory Party's 'Friends of Israel Club' - celebrating another round of Israeli brinksmanship: "Jehovah bless Bobo. Heute Israel, morgen die Welt!"

Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate and their New World Order capital of Jerusalem. Plus fuck Israel and the Great Satan and the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion – or the Project for a New American Century – or the Foreign Policy Initiative or whatever they choose to label this game plan devoted to their Brotherhood of the Snake cult and insidious god of greed: Mammon.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known pro-Zionist meshuggenah propaganda-infested area and may contain lashings of hudaibiya, kvelling, hasbara, chutzpah and the sickening Israeli ‘schadenfreude’ – along with nano-particle traces exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a toxic chemtrail residue of genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 23 January 2013

Royal Ranga Revels in Afghan Murder-Thon

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Following a disastrous Top Gun interview with a group of embedded gutter press media correspondents visiting 662 Squadron’s Camp Tosspot base at Lashkar Gah, in which Captain Harry Hewitt described his five-month deployment against the Taliban mujahideen as “a doddle – like playing Call of Duty 5: ‘Kill-a-Paki’ on my Xbox 360 without the aid of any cheats” – he gave all and sundry the impression of being the type of bloke who could fuck up a perfectly good anvil – and a 28-year old naïve twat who has yet to come to grips with this thing the common herd refer to as ‘reality’.

While Downing Street, the MoD and Clarence House have shit kittens, gone ballistic and are kicking up a phenomenal stink, wanting to know who the fuck in charge of the NATO / ISAF base’s security operations sanctioned Harry being interviewed without a spin doctor chaperone of Max Clifford’s press agent guru stamp in attendance – especially due his habit of opening gob before engaging brain – the Taliban hierarchy’s spokesman Mohammed al Ka-Boom, commander of the 21st Shaheed Semtex Vest Brigade, has spit the proverbial dummy.

Seizing a tailor-made propaganda opportunity of rapturous Brobdingnagian proportions, Commander al Ka-Boom, a former Takfiri mullah and leader of the Saracen Scallies Gang, appeared on the Tora Bora Ummat Television’s ever-popular primetime ‘Jolly Jihad Hour’ programme to launch a very negative PR broadside salvo - slamming the royal cuckoo’s moronic comments about ‘turkey shoots’ and comparing his gunship pilot ‘take’ on the decade-plus Afghan tragedy to a ‘super video game’ as a dead give-away of how the decadent Western infidels view the people of Afghanistan and the Islamic religion.

Tuesday’s front page of the red top Mujahideen Terrorist Review tabloid carried a hacked photo of Captain Hewitt twiddling his joystick and playing Sky Rimjob, with an editorial claiming the interview would serve to incite further rancour among the indigenous Afghan population against the foreign infidel invaders and their illegal war of convenience that has become as popular as chemotherapy with all concerned – civilians and combatants alike - and staged in the wake of the 9/11 false flag terror attacks simply to put a Western sock puppet stooge in power – specifically President Ahmed Kami Karzai and his Kleptocracy Party government.

Applying their best derogatory English adjectives to translate from the original Pashto, the tabloid’s editorial labelled Prince Harry as a bona-fide ‘dog wanker’ (a mutant sub-set genus in the fuckwit classification index of Linnaean taxonomy) who is a cad, a bounder and thoroughly bad sort, just like his ginger-mingin father Jimmy – and for his pompous indiscretions and insults heaped upon the Afghan people, would be cursed with an ingrowing foreskin and septic haemorrhoids until Hell froze over.

Hmmm, Harry’s little interview and revealing this preferred brand of Apache gunship diplomacy might just be fraught with the spectre of unintended consequences.

Following the initial ‘semi-sanitised’ media interview, apparently Harry got into a boozing session with a gutter press hack from the Warmongers Gazette in the Burkha Bar at their Camp Tosspot base in Bellend Province – home to the 3 Regiment Army Air Corps – and confided – on conditions of “Don’t tell Granny Liz” – that he’d killed ‘shitloads’ of Taliban insurgents during his latest 20-week murder-a-thon tour of Afghanistan as an Apache AH-64 gunship pilot.

“That’s the great thing about the Apache - when the only tool you possess is a hammer then every problem starts to look like a nail – so we just blast the shit out of anything that moves.”
“Okay, a lot of days it’s not just blood and guts, shooting up herds of goats with the 30mm cannon or demolishing schools with a barrage of Shitstreak missiles – but just ferrying bales of the CIA’s morphine base or semi-refined H to the Paki border for onward trans-shipment – then try and cop a bit of a ‘Heathen Hunt’ on the flight back to Lashkar Gah and send a few rag-arsed peasants off to meet Allah.”

“I kid you not, it really beats hanging round the camp all sodding day and watching re-runs of the Afghan Extreme Stoning event finals on Al Jazeera Sports Plus – and I really get my rocks off killing our country’s enemies – the ones out to sabotage Western civilisation – these fedayeen scumbags who hate our democratic freedoms.”

The Prince, who is alternately known as Captain Hewitt , Your Highness or ‘Harry the Heathen Slayer’ around the Army Air Corps camp, was dispatched on all manner of missions across Afghanistan’s major trouble spot Bellend Province – tasked with delivering Murderer’s Choice pizzas and crates of frosty Budweiser to trigger-happy psycho US troops guarding the opium crops - to blasting the shit out of suspected Taliban rebel strongholds disguised as schools, orphanages and medical clinics.

During his deployment in 2007-2008, the royal ranga spoke of his frustration at not being able to partake in the actual slaughter of the people attempting to evict an army of foreign infidel invaders from their homeland due the fact he might get his stupid head blown off - as the Taliban and al Qaeda have a nasty habit of shooting back at such interlopers – and occasionally hitting what they aim at.

How time flies - only months previously this same spotty youth was snapped in his birthday suit with an equally-naked Las Vegas golly-flogger, his fingers gripping her genitalia as he would a ten pin bowling ball as they faced off like a pair of Sumo wrestlers, getting down n dirty, ready to play ‘Hide the Bratwurst’.
Now Harry spews out a stream of Maverick / Iceman skewed logic sound bites like some Common Purpose NLP brainwashed politician - "They kill one of ours so we snuff ten of theirs."

So the Prince has developed a taste for blood and murder – just like Grand-dad Stavros of Edinburgh who had his Mum, Di’ snuffed. Well, members of the totally dysfunctional Royal Family hardly constitute representative models of moral rectitude, hence what do we expect from their cuckoo sprog?

Alas, given the facilities of subjunctive retrospect and 20/20 hindsight, we shall henceforth view Harry as a chap now stricken with severe credibility issues. But it must be a comfort to believe in your own bullshit and delusions - branding these wars of aggression – this ‘Reign of Error’ as necessary to preserve ‘our’ way of life – at the expense of another people’s.

Thought for the day. With regard to foreign misadventures and neo-colonial aggression – and too Posh Dave Scameron’s propaganda spin that the war on terrorism could take decades – perhaps generations – to resolve – and given a well-spun media boost to boot - let’s not lose sight of the fact that 9/11 and the Iraq weapons of mass distraction scams were ZioNazi neo-con kikester false flag op’s to justify this immoral and illegal demonization of all Islam.

Thus too 9/11 manifested the required vindication for the violent force of arms invasion and occupation of their lands to install – at best – yet another compliant sock puppet regime that endorses Israel’s right to steal Palestine and treat the Arab Muslim population of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip in a worse inhuman manner than Hitler’s Nazi hordes purportedly ever did to the Jews – along with the blacks, Slavs, Gyppos and generalised Pikey tribes of Europe and Russia.

To wit – fuck the New World Order and all who sail in it.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 22 January 2013

Lord Snooty Predicts Million Year War

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

British Slime Minister Posh Dave Scameron went into his pre-rehearsed pantomime ‘Cry Wolf’ histrionics mode again yesterday, announcing that the recent UK workers’ deaths in Algeria was a declaration of centuries - perhaps even a millennium - of blood n guts all-out warfare against the radical Muslim terrorist menace – and a stark reminder to the brain-dead common herd of the threats posed by a militant Pan-Islam that loom over the continued God-fearing Christian security of our once-sceptred isle.

Returning from his early morning jog-a-thon around Parliament Square to slash a few Occupy protester’s tents, Scameron informed a gaggle of sarcastic gutter press hacks loitering around Downing Street’s main Plebgate entrance that in his unqualified opinion President François Hollande’s sanctioned Operation Merde-Tête neo-colonial invasion of manky Mali by a gang of BFST Gorfs (backward Frogs) from the 18th Special Segway Unit last week, launched under the pretext of halting the advance of pissed off regionalist militants - who want a fair share of the gold / uranium mining cornucopia profits - was the singular catalyst that incited a bunch of Ibadi sect cigarette smugglers to go ape shit and avenge Algiers’ support of the French military action in the Islamic Maghreb - by seizing the Tigantourine natural gas complex and a shed load of foreign hostages working for the notorious British Polluters oil company at Ain Almenas on the Libyan border.

"This is what military strategists refer to as a ‘right fuck-up’ and will require a big stick response that could take centuries – and perhaps even a couple of millenniums rather than a simple quick-fix botched job over the next few decades – and that’s why people need to keep voting Conservative – so we can protect them from the likes of these Jolly Jihadist mates of Big Al Qaeda and his Saracen Scally oicks – none of whom ever went to a decent public school or even attempt to speak the Queen’s English.”

In a complete volte-face of his 2010 election campaign trail mantras promoting the Tory’s Big Society and Hug-a Muslim multiculturalism – now its all ‘Islamophobia Rules’ and basically spy on the mosques and hate thy neighbour – especially if they’re Muslims – as we all know they despise our democratic freedoms (wot them?) and want to scrap all pig farms and ban the iconic Limey bacon sarnie from the local butty van - and make British women wear burkhas.

Hmmm, the latter might not be a bad idea really when one considers the legions of fat-arsed, bottle blonde gobshite slappers, trolls and broomstick merchants infesting the Troublespot Taverns pub chains - whose brain-stretching literary tastes run to quoting narrative quips from Fifty Shades of Red-Arsed Spankeroo – the latest in the Mad Max Mosley BD/SM Flagellation series from Penguin Porno Classics.

However, Stop the War activist Bev Titwank was the first to jump on Scameron’s case and stressed the last decade had already proved the so-called war on terror was more at scent than substance and doomed to failure, opining to media hacks “How many more years will this Western holier-than-thou Coalition of the Warmongers continue to bomb and invade hapless Third World countries in the false name of fighting terrorism –then split them into Balkanised bite-sized chunks of sectarian chaos – with the UK bollocks-deep in this third party proxy war villainy?”

“You need two hands-worth of fingers to count them all off now: Afghanistan – opium and the poxy Socal pipeline; Iraq – oil and a central Mid-East strategic military base; Libya – oil; Yemen and Somalia – control of the Red Sea / Suez access – in ands out – and they already have Djibouti as a tactical Elint / drone base – then Mali for their uranium and gold.”
“Okay, heads up – time for a reality check as some fucker asks ‘Why Africa?’
Why? – cos it’s a neo-imperialist push to dislodge the Sino-joint venture projects across the entire African continent – same as in Libya with Gaddafi – get the sodding Chinks out before they become too entrenched.”

“So now they’ve evolved from the old style gunboat diplomacy to the all-American guilty by association homicidal ‘drone diplomacy’ – and they’ll drive their global expansionist agendas through proxy wars like Syria - or high-fiving false flag attacks to justify invasions such as 9/11 and the Iraq weapons of mass distraction scam that got poor Dr Kelly murdered up in the Grassy Knoll Woods.”

“Hopefully they don’t pull any more Mohammed al Patsy style 7/7 faux terrorist jobs and just stick with their pantomime propaganda - black pepper and peroxide bombs, exploding jockey shorts, sub-nuclear trainers – and that moronic ricin poison attack. Really, how pathetic – castor bean cluster munitions or perhaps that should be cluster-fuck munitions. I mean who the fuck have they got at the CIA and MI6 working on this – Wallace and Gromet or Wiley T. Coyote?”

“Then we have their so-called dirty bombs – last week’s laundry and a bunch of smelly socks wrapped around a pipe bomb. And if you want to know how to make a pipe bomb read Inspire magazine – the Big Al Qaeda terrorist best-selling online publication. What a fucking joke – if that’s the best they can do for an IED then we can all sleep easy.”

“Oh well, now the Kenyan cuckoo is in the White House for another four years, the show can really rock and get to work on trashing the rest of the US Constitution and Bill of Rights – starting with the 2nd Amendment – then imposing martial law, rounding up all the Occupy activists and any fucker else and their dog who reckons it’s kosher to think for themselves and diss the government – under the Patriot Act and the new NDAA that’s a domestic terrorism offence. Camp FEMA for you – red zone.”

“Oh yes, just wait until the ZioNazi game plan kicks into top gear now inauguration day’s done n dusted. First – a false flag chemical weapons attack to get things hotted up in Syria and force the UN’s humanitarian intervention hand – then Lebanon and Hezbollah – a full IDF strike against Hamas in Gaza that will make Operation Cast Lead look like a picnic – then some staged event to incite a fire-fight in the Gulf and justify launching an all-out three branches military attack on the sovereign Islamic Republic of Iran.”

“That’s the way to do it – full order books for the military-industrial cabal arms manufacturers. Profits and performance bonuses galore as all the intelligence service’s drug money and filthy lucre from human sex slave trafficking and illegal arms deals gets laundered and sanitised by the City’s Wilkins Micawber Bank of International Settlements – and their sights are set on the next target. Antarctica – the sixth continent – and those fundamentalist Islamic penguins.”

Thought for the day. Fuck Neo-Colonial / Imperialist France and the UK – and NATO and the Great Satan – and their New World Order / Project for a New American Century / Foreign Policy Initiative / Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.