Tuesday, 15 January 2013

UAV Death Drone Toys - Xmas Best-Seller

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The post-Christmas retail tally returns are now in and Mammon Materialist Crap, the global merchandising trends survey group, are hailing General Atomics best-seller MQ-9 Reaper UAV hunter-killer drone models - and specifically their ‘blood n guts’ linked video game (suitable for 3 years onwards) as a stellar teaching platform that even Dad - and Grandpa (and butch dyke sisters) can’t resist getting involved with as it makes a mosh pit fuck of anything and everything its AN/DAS-1 MTS-B Multi-Spectral Targeting System locks onto – launching a barrage of Shitstreak missiles and other high explosive depleted uranium cased nasties to take out any heathen Muslim Jolly Jihad terrorist type and their dog that’s old enough to bleed and scream.

The MQ-9 Reaper drone video game has at its core an actual MALE (medium-altitude, long-endurance) UAV software system that kids can deploy over contoured screen maps of Afghanistan, Pakiland, Somalia and Yemen – with add-on cheats and patches soon to be available for septic kleptocracies like Mali, the Democratic Republic of Congo and the Central African Republic.

As the Reaper model and video game ad’ states “Why let Barky Obama have all the fun, sat on his ass at some Hawaiian beach resort, pushing the ‘Die Motherfucker’’ button on the CIA / Pentagon targeted killing programme’s joystick control box when you too can violate some Occupy activist’s or National Rifle Association redneck’s constitutional rights here in the gold ole US of A - or bomb a bunch of infidel kids playing outside a Third World basket case shithole’s orphanage or madrassa in the Mid-East or Asia or Africa - this is the ultimate toy for all clandestine missions”.

“You too can pull a double tap strike to triple your Yee-Ha! perverted orgasmic pleasure and casualty head count score with drone missile hits on wedding parties or funerals when you circle back a couple of hours later and loose another barrage of AGM-114 Kiddie Crippler rockets with DIME fulminant warheads - or GBU-12 Paveway II laser-guided bombs at the stupid fucks doling out medical aid to the survivors and mourning their relatives”.

And what finer teaching platform could there be to awaken the blood-thirsty / empathy-deficient ‘Predator’ gene in your kids’ DNA by getting them involved with negotiating the complex intricacies of global geography and varying terrains than flying their MQ-9 Reaper drone over the undulating mountain / desert landscapes of the Ningrahar regions along the Afghanistan / Pakiland border at 550 mph -and all while avoiding the politically-correct diplomatic and human rights constraints of Montesquiue checks and balances regarding neo-imperialism and the murder of innocents as they give the Friday lunchtime mosque gang a ‘ka-fucking-boom’ surprise they’ll never forget.

In the pilot seat of the MQ-9 your kids get to exercise their own up close and personal executive decisions and okay yet another extra-judicious termination of human life to ensure the continued security of Uncle Sam – and Israel – against the manky Muslim shaheed suicide bombing crazies who hate our rapidly-diminishing Western democratic freedoms - and further forward the US / NATO military ‘global trends’ Foreign Policy Initiative to achieve domination of the world’s natural resources.

Wal-Mart, Toys-R-Us and the Body Bag Review all reported that the General Atomics MQ-9 Reaper UAV hunter-killer drone models and video games outsold Regal Palace Pastimes popular interactive blood sports ‘Prince Harry Hewitt AH-64 Apache Gunship Pilot: Mission Taliban Exterminator’ video game over the Xmas period – which sales staff credited to the negative publicity generated by the ginger mingin royal cuckoo being photographed with his cock hanging out while playing pool in Vegas, partnered by a whore in her birthday suit. Not exactly a role model for 9-year olds to imitate.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Fastbyte69 said...

Another winner Rusty. Great piece of piss-taking.