Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Bolshie Activists Call for TSG Disbandment

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Feral Beryl McSkanger, 69, a Green Party Assembly Member and former Slumborough Hamlets cage fighter, has called for both the Met’s SO19 Armed Response Unit and the TSA Riot Squad to be disbanded due the fact no fucker or their dog trusts the pick n mix medley of ‘Untouchable’ uniformed psychos and officious thugs assigned to the pair of notorious blood n guts detachments.

McSkanger informed a gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker that while the trigger-happy homicidal maniacs assigned to the SO19 had proved themselves unaccountable, being licensed to kill viz the Operation Kratos ‘shoot first’ rules of engagement and extra-judicial slaughter of Brazilian electricians as they couldn’t tell the difference between an Asian Paki bomb-chucking Muslim and a law-abiding Catholic Latino sparky – the Territorial Support Group’s bully boy hoodlums behaved like some basket case Third World shithole’s paramilitary body – removing their I/D badges and wearing balaclavas to ensure anonymity, then beating peaceful protesters with telescopic steel Asp batons when they retreated beyond fist and boot range.

Ms McSkanger, deputy chair of the police and crime committee, further suggested the money saved by scrapping the SO19 ARU and the CO20 TSG should be spent on compensating those martyred by their violence – such as the surviving relatives of Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes – along with tuition fee hike protests ‘disabled’ victim Jody McIntire - G20 activist Nicole Fisher, thrashed and punched by the Neanderthal Sgt Delboy Stinkie - and the family of the late Ian Tomlinson, an innocent passer-by murdered by the TSG’s PC Simon Harwood – who escaped conviction on manslaughter charges with a plea of suffering from pre-menstrual tension at the time he attacked the hapless news vendor.

Conversely Chief Supt Mark Twattbury, speaking with media reporters, claimed Ms McSkanger's recommendation to Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense would leave London devoid of their round-the-clock response teams to deal with critical incidents such as aggie demonstrators in wheelchairs, gobshite activist bitches wielding cartons of orange juice – and hapless newspaper sellers trying to bypass crowds of protesters to find their way home – or covering up the sore thumb evidence left in the wake of MI5 and Mossad planting military grade explosive devices on London’s Underground tube trains as per the 7/7 false flag terrorist attacks blamed on Mohammed bin Patsy and his fellow Yorkshire-based muhijadeen moron stooges.

“Okay, perhaps we do have a slight ‘perception problem’ as some elements of the TSG are a bit gung-ho and think their shit doesn’t stink – and maybe a few of these anti-government anarchist protester types did get scalded after the TSG gave them the kettling treatment.”
“In contrast, as far as the Met Plod Squad goes, accepting any fucker and their dog for recruits that has an IQ above room temperature figures, at least applicants for the TSG must have worked for the Renta-Thug Security Agency and be recommended by a senior officer – usually a fellow Masonic Brother – and a higher level of fitness is required than the regular lard-arsed plods – plus we can fully train and deploy officers in any new pugilistic skill – such as the dreaded Harwood Manoeuvre - within five weeks.”

“Since Central Operations created the TSG / CO20 back in 1987 to replace the scandal-ridden Special Thug Group that old Maggie Thatcher had let loose at the poll tax riots and on the striking miners, this CBRN unit can respond to chemical, biological, and nuclear incidents by turning up in gas masks ready to take on any and all Jolly Jihad Muslim terrorists with a bad attitude who try to detonate a bin bag full of black pepper, peroxide and uranium - and flash fry the centre of London.”

“We can have Commander Birdbrain and his boys spread right across all 32 London boroughs and form an operational ‘Serial’ based on the national PSU model of an Inspector, three Sergeants, eighteen Constables, two medics, three drivers and a van-load of body bags ready to respond to any incident – although 99% of their time is spent dealing with Bolshie protesters and riots that kick off when the SO19 unit shoot some local anti-Christ wannabee down in Tottenham.”

Thought for the day. Hmmm, paramilitary units of any kind create a self-fulfilling prophecy when policing protests and demonstrations - that due their presence, even without incitement from embedded agents provocateur, violence will occur.

However, between 2008 and 2012 there has been a 50% decrease in the number of complaints made against the TSG since the likes of Nicola Fisher were intimidated to the ‘fear and anxiety’ point of nervous breakdowns – and Ian Tomlinson simply battered to death in the public view as a warning to others that the innocent bystander / passer-by defence is no excuse for being in the wrong place at the wrong time – especially when a horde of psychotic uniformed thugs are loose.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.


Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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