Thursday, 1 December 2011

Tory Zionists Get Excuse to Attack Iran

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A veritable Koranic legion of irate student protesters belonging to the Basii militant organisation, fed up of being threatened with sanctions and pre-emptive military strikes by the West’s Global Bully Club, reacted with malice aforethought on Tuesday afternoon in response to Posh Dave Scameron’s pro-Zionist Libservative government cutting financial ties and imposing other coercive penalties, and massed outside the British Embassy compound in Tehran to hurl a barrage of anti-infidel slurs before scaling the walls and going into rape, burn and pillage mode – until after one look at the skangers comprising the whiskey-tango female staff opted for the latter and set fire to a Union Jack and the inept Ambassador’s car instead.

Speaking in the House of Conmans on Wednesday morning, the ridiculous Scameron used the Tehran incident as a perfectly-presented opportunity to distract attentions from the fact half the country’s public sector workers were on strike in protest at his government’s mismanagement – and thus rendered one of his customary ‘pantomime Dame’ performances of histrionics and outrage, warning Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadashell of serious consequences for the attack on Broken Britain’s diplomatic base – and the first to be enacted being Tehran getting crossed off the Foreign Office’s Christmas card list with extreme prejudice.

The Coalition’s closet case Foreign Secretary Willy Vague did his best to emulate his Master’s burlesque antics, announcing that all diplomatic staff were to be withdrawn from Iran – and putting the Iranian Embassy staff in London’s Kensington Court on notice to get out of town before sundown (approx 15:56 GMT on November 30th) – and leave the front door key under the mat.

“After the gross insult to Her Majesty’s diplomatic representative by allowing a bunch of Bolshie Muslim students to storm our Tehran Embassy we want the Iranian diplomatic corps off British soil immediately – if not sooner,” Secretary Vague informed a press hack from the Mexican Standoff Gazette.
"If some Islamic terrorist sponsor state like Iran makes us feel unwelcome on their bailiwick by letting a rabid horde of rag-arsed student types attack our embassy, they’re pushing their luck if they expect us to permit them to have a functioning diplomatic mission in jolly old Britain and enjoy our democratic freedoms – like being able to buy a copy of Penthouse at the local newsagents and shopping at Pound Stretcher - and getting their plonk on the cheap from Bargain Booze.”

Hmmm, a pity our moronic politicians dominating Shitehall and Westminster can’t get it through their thick skulls that Iran is a sovereign state and they’ve have had it up to the back teeth with Western interference in their domestic affairs and the US-Israeli ZioNazis wanting to add the ancient realm of Persia to their insane New World Order conquest list.

But with Britain the animosity and culture of mistrust goes back a century or so. In 1813, following the first Russo-Persian war, the country’s leadership, under the rule of the Qajar dynasty’s Shah Fatarse Ali, was forced to concede territory in what was regarded as a humiliating deal for the nation – with the Treaty of Gulistan accord, which ceded the vast majority of the previously disputed territories to Imperial Russia, cobbled together by British diplomat Sir Gore Ouseley – casting a dark and ominous cloud of mistrust over British-Iranian diplomatic relations.

Fifty years on and the British forces were at loggerhead again when they foiled attempts by the Persian army to reclaim possession of their Herat frontier territory, bordering the Graveyard of Empires - the present-day Afghanistan.
Then, to round off a veritable gutful of foreign interference, British forces under General Tiny Ironside were instrumental in putting the despotic Reza Khan Pahlavi on Persia’s Peacock Throne in 1926.

Avid students of history and the good ole US of A’s black record of instigating neo-colonial foreign affairs mischief will doubtless recall the 1953 Operation Ajax coup d'├ętat against the democratically-elected government and Prime Minister of Iran, staged by Kermit the Frog Roosevelt - a senior officer in the CIA's Middle Eastern division – to initiate yet another regime change for a puppet head of state that had no objection to kissing Western arses and playing Pavlov’s dog.

The Iranian PM, the incorruptible and ultra-patriotic Mohammad Mosaddegh, on assuming office, had rightly determined that his country had an imperialist jackboot positioned on its neck – in the form of the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company – now known as British Petroleum or BP – the same conscienceless scumbags who entered into the annals of infamy in April 2010 by fucking up the once-pristine blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico with their cut-price ‘safety last’ Deepshit Horizon oil well disaster and spraying toxic Corexit 9500 to sink all the oil slicks and plumes – which has made a total polluted fubar of every strand of pelagic life form DNA and left all the fish looking like Blinkie.

Mosaddegh committed the ultimate transgression when he nationalised the country’s oil industry in May 1951, which had been under the British Empire’s control since 1913 – and the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company were out on their exploitive and profiteering arse.
For his patriotic sins Mosaddegh was ousted in a coup in August 1953, organised and carried out by the CIA at the request of the British MI6 - which chose Iranian General Fazlollah Zahedi as their obedient ‘good dog’ replacement stooge.

Of course, the Western enmity goes a lot deeper than Mosaddegh’s 1953 self –determination / nationalisation act which turned into one of self-destruction for the well-meaning chap.
The latter venom we see manifested today in this smear fiction of a race to build a nuclear arsenal like Israel’s (and break the ZioNazi Mid-East military hegemony deadlock) originated with the ouster of the despotic Shah Reza Jaffacake Pallaver and his extended family of kleptomaniacs running the pathetic excuse that passed for a government in 1979.

With the overthrow of the Shah’s brutal, pro-Western regime, the Ayatollahs, led by the exiled Imam, Grand Ayatollah Sayyed Ruhollah Musavi Khomeni returning from France, secured their national identity from the insidious influence of the Great Satan and replaced the corruption-ridden monarchy with a theocracy based on the Guardianship of the Islamic Jurists.

Then the shit really hit the fan when a group of hard core Muslim students and militants took over the American Embassy in Tehran in support of the revolution (much the same as Tuesday’s assault on the British Embassy) with 52 Yanks held hostage for 444 days - from November 4, 1979 to January 20, 1981.

To add self-inflicted injury to insult, the hostage impasse reached a climax in April 1980 when, after failed attempts to negotiate a release, the gung-ho United States military launched a moronic gambit of a rescue operation: Operation Eagle Claw – later re-named ‘Operation Total Fuckup’ after the star-crossed mission resulted in the destruction of two aircraft and the deaths of eight American troops – and no hostages rescued.

The humiliating public debacle that ensued from this farcical slapstick Delta Force fuck-up pissed all over American prestige globally, making them a laughing stock and was the primary reason responsible for the bungling Jimmy Carter’s defeat in the 1980 presidential election.
Hardline Iranians claimed that the Great Satan’s failure on this comedy of errors mission was a display of divine intervention by Allah.

So, all in all, the Tehran students’ sortie on the British Embassy is a blessing in disguise for the UK’s pro-Zionist PM, Posh Dave Scameron, providing a shitload of ready-cooked propaganda and spin to serve up as an appetiser for the all-new X-Box 360 game ‘World War Three: Armageddon’ – which equates out as the perfect excuse for a spot of gunboat diplomacy and to kick start military hostilities on the Islamic Republic.

Thought for the day. Perhaps Scameron should have someone whisper in his ear an apt quote from Appollonius of Tyana - frequently mimicked across the breadth of the ages by such celebrity plagiarists as Otto von Bismarck, Winnie the Poo Churchill and George Santayana, which states for eternity “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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