Bankster Bailout Bill to be Scrapped

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the Libservative coalition’s Business Secretary Vince Cobblers, proclaimed from up on high this past weekend, states for the public record that the Independent Commission on Banking report’s conclusions and recommendations, researched and compiled by Sir John Vickers, will be enacted in toto – with Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown’s 2008 Bankster Bailout Bill – (later amended by the Tories to become the Bankster Bailout & Guaranteed Bonus Act 2010) – ditched along with the bathwater, baby and all.

Alas the sad – and too perplexing – news is that the statutes will not be in force until 2019 – another eight years hence. Que? Hello - WTF? If it was another piece of post false flag Big Brother anti-terrorist legislation like the 7/7 Mohammed al Patsy fiasco, to lock up some hapless twats sporting a sun tan and in possession of mosque membership cards and an A300 flight manual then it would be passed into law and enacted tomorrow – never mind eight fucking years down the road.

Hence, we are thus inclined to believe the semi-substantiated rumours that the big banks have been working flat out like a lizard drinking - lobbying the Tory Chancellor, Georgie Osborne, to have him dilute Vickers’ hard-arsed banking reforms down to a truly homeopathic ‘one part per zillion’ level – or delay their enforcement until Hades freezes over – both factors that now bear an undeniable quality of verisimilitude.

Well, ‘tis the very fabric that conspiracy theories are woven from – and a sure fire fact that senior banksters acting on behalf of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s interests have met with Osborne and / or his ginger-mingin assistant Danny ‘The Rodent’ Alexander more times than enough since Vickers published his damning landmark ‘Ream the Banksters’ report in September – and it wasn’t to discuss the fucking weather.

Apparently the wholly incompetent Financial Services Authority is carrying out a half-arsed investigation into unsubstantiated reports concerning a clandestine meeting between the Commercial Secretary to the Treasury – the-now ‘Vermin in Ermine’ Lord Ja’akoff Baboon – (himself a former investment banker for the SG Warburg group) – and Mr Wormhole Jaffacake, the vice-chairman of Barclays - in October at Soho’s notorious Takem Orloff Lapdancing Club.

Frank McSkanger, the director of the ScumWatch public office abuse charity opined to one press hack from the Daily Shitraker “It’s just the effin’ same as when that prick Andy Coulson woz in Downin’ Street openin’ the access hatch fer the Mudrock’s media whores – an’ that other influence peddlin’ Adam Qwerty mate of Liam Pox’s at Defence. All a bunch of jukebox politicians – stick a few bob in an’ they’ll play any fuckin’ tune yer want.”

Whistle-blowing Treasury moles working for the snitch and grassers watchdog Ox-Rat have revealed that in a fit of infantile dummy-spitting pique, the bankster bosses of the largest offenders – the gambling addicts running Barclays, Lloyds, HSBC and the Royal Bank of Scumland, have warned the Treasury mandarins that the Vickers’ reforms, if enforced in their current concentrated state, could harm the economy even more than the bankster’s customary incompetence in matters fiscal - and have threatened to move their headquarters out of Britain to pastures new – and tax-free – such as Liberia - in a pathetic attempt to generate government sympathy*** and concessions for their long overdue censured predicament. (*** sympathy – a word found in the dictionary right between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’).

So the top rank banksters, infected with the highly contagious 'Greedy Bastards' cognitive dissonance syndrome, are fighting furiously behind the scenes for the very survival of their obnoxious ‘win or lose’ mega-bucks performance bonus culture - and to limit, if not actually abrogate, any and all negative changes to their current criminal modus operandi of usurious Debtocracy.

This Rothshite Shylock controlled cabal of shulhani and neshekers are backs to the wall and hell bent on thwarting the Government's plans to implement Vickers’ draconic recommendations and overhaul the capitalist system – one currently based on the fatally-flawed principle of fractional reserve lending and granting 125% mortgage loans to punters on the off chance the recipient will win the Lotto jackpot at some point in the future and pay off the principle - as well as shedloads of rapacious interest.

Sir John Vickers’ commission recommended that with the City’s money lending and counting house institutions currently operating with a financial stability mechanism that is as reliable and balanced as a paraplegic meerkat on a pogo stick, they should henceforth be required to ring fence their high street banking operations away from the condemned casino ‘money to burn’ derivatives and ‘credit default’ speculations - and the defective loan-swap investment operations.

Such a mandate is intended to eliminate the necessity of the hapless British taxpayers being forced to rescue them yet again – with the added proviso that if they refuse to conform then the Darwinian-Reykjavik doctrine of survival of the fittest should be applied to all troubled and insolvent bankster institutions – and let them go under like a concrete duck.

Thought for the day. In a world where the pursuit of personal ambition and material wealth over all else has become a religious catechism, then the sheeple, bolstered by the human nature factor of selfish greed surpassing any semblance of Biblical virtue, are intoxicated with illusions from the earliest stages of their youth.
Regardless, fuck the Rothshite’s bankster crime syndicate and their corrupt politico muppets – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.