Saudi Despots Spurn Infidel Criticism

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The backward Kingdom of Saudi Arabia - another Third World shithole posing as a civilised state but still stuck in the Dark Ages of 1433 – and whose despotic rulers are renown for their of disdain of criticism in any shape or form (especially so when directed at them and their corrupt ‘Kleptocracy’ system of government) - plus the fact they’re stricken with a hereditary inbreeding condition that blocks the function of their sense of humour gene – yesterday went into dummy-spitting mode following the release of a joint human rights and wrongs abuse report compiled by the Ox-Rat and Amnesty International charities.

The damning report accuses the tyrannical regime of reacting to the Arab Spring uprisings by launching a wave of repression against marginalised protesters crying out for socio-economic reforms, freedom of speech and a democratic system of government.

In response to the accusations Prince Mohammed al Mongrel ibn Zamel, the Saudi Ambassador to Broken Britain, informed one London press hack from the Barbarians Gazette that the only protesters who were arrested in the recent demonstrations were those shouting anti-monarchist slogans such as “Fat Arse King Abdullah Get Out!” and “King ‘Six Chins’ is a Zionist Pig!” – with the majority of those detained being released without charge after getting a sound kicking from the Manuke Khara security police.

“Anyway, who are these infidel do-gooders from Amnesty and Ox-Rat to criticise us and how we treat our peasants? What do non-believers in the true faith of Islam know of the Quran’s suras which guide our Mutaween religious police? We have crimes committed in our country that do not exist in your cold and inhospitable island – such as camel rape and pissing in an oasis or water well.”

“Would you like to get up in a morning, walk outside your tent and find one of the neighbours had sodomised your camel during the night or pissed in your drinking water supply? This is why we have introduced our new ‘Domestic Terrorism Bill’ which we have copied verbatim from the Great Satan’s ‘Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act’ – and which encompasses and criminalises anything we want - from double parking through to armed insurrection.”

Responding to criticism that the new Saudi anti-terrorism laws would effectively criminalise socio-political dissent as a terrorist crime and mandate protracted periods of detention without charge or trial, the embassy’s legal attaché, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer, stressed that the Domestic Terrorism Bill has been crafted to be in compliance with Sharia law – which doesn’t exactly assure human rights jurists of anything positive when torture of detainees is endemic and the only time prisoners get to take a wash or have a cold drink is during their daily water boarding sessions.

However Sheikh Fizzy maintained that Saudi was committed to respecting human rights in accordance with Islamic Sharia Law – whose penalties for wrong-doing equate with the worst possible indignities to be inflicted on a human being: lashings, stonings, hands chopped off for shoplifting, and beheading for pretty much anything – including adultery.

While being the equal on the International Brutality Index scale of Nazi war crimes tried at Nuremberg, the Saudi list of atrocities permissible under the barbaric edicts of Sharia law come pretty close to the catalogue of human rights and wrongs abuses visited on the heads of the Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip by the psycho kikesters assigned to the IDF’s Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Squad on a daily basis – which are conveniently overlooked and ignored by the selective conscience political whores of the Zionist-controlled Western Hemisphere governments. Hence Saudi has nothing to worry about – as long as they keep pumping the black gold from under the sand.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.