Saturday, 3 December 2011

Is Duncan the Dunce Deadwood?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Tory’s Minister for Making Stupid Comments, Iain Duncan-Smutt, known affectionately to political associates and his legions of caustic critics alike as the type of person who gives morons a bad name, this week informed a head-shaking House of Conmans assembly of fellow MPs that paying poor families increased welfare benefits did more harm than good as it simply encouraged feckless parents to spend all day in the pub and betting shop – blowing the extra cash on gambling, booze and drugs – hence providing an very bad example for their sprogs to do likewise.

In a pathetic attempt to make light of the disapprobatory comments made by New Labour’s Ed Millipede focusing on their party's estimate that the latest social welfare austerity measures forced on the hapless voting public by Tory Chancellor Georgie Osborne would push a further 100,000 children below the poverty line, ‘Duncan the Dunce’ stated for the public record that “Well, 100,000 isn’t that bad – and they’ll be good company for the 13,500,000 already there – as misery loves company.”

Duncan-Smutt’s imbecilic statement was jumped upon by New Labour’s Frank McGnasher, the MP for Yorkshire’s East Landfill constituency, who declared for the Hansard record “Wot Dunc’ the Dunce has ter come ter grips wiv is the fact it’s easy ter lose focus and let rhetoric replace reality when yer sat snug in a Zillionaire’s Cabinet an’ drawing a salary of some £134,565 quid per annum – plus expenses – along wiv a bunch of public school toffs wot consider the common sheeple below their dignity ter bother payin’ heed ter – unless it’s effin election time.”

“These Tory elitist snobs wot are dominatin’ this fuck-up of a coalition wiv Mick Clogg’s Lib-Dums need ter realise that the 2010 Child Poverty Act woz drafted ter actually reduce effin’ poverty – not increase it like they’re doin’ wiv their cripplin’ austerity measures.”

McGnasher’s comments were echoed and supported by the Child Poverty Action Group charity’s CEO, Beverly Titwank, who informed one gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker that “It’s all okay the likes of George Osborne and Duncan-Smutt denigrating Gordon Brown’s measure of poverty – 60 per cent of median earnings – which was enshrined in law in an attempt to reduce, if not abolish, child poverty in Broken Britain by 2050. But have they come up with a better solution? - I think not.”

“We have Posh Dave Scameron, a stooge and mouthpiece for the Rothshire crime syndicate bankster’s Crony Capitalist Club, coming out with this disingenuous flannel that the rich are shouldering a much larger share of the burden than the poor – and that the top 10% are paying ten times as much as the unemployed bottom 10% - then has the cheek to pledge that welfare benefits will be upgraded in line with inflation when Osborne has no intention of implementing anything of the sort.”

“With Scameron’s terminally-stigmatised Tory party public image in its current state of infamy due them breaking election campaign trail promises like Poundland crockery - and all to favour this over-privileged Illuminati stooges’ exclusive T & T Club (Traitors & Treason) – which we all know is comprised of ranking Masonic kiddie fiddlers and shirt-lifting fudgers – we no longer believe a bloody word he or his cohort come out with. The promised ‘compassionate conservatism’ has been buried alongside the Tory’s credibility – in a very deep cesspit.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

No comments: