US Iraq Troop Pull-Out: to Syrian Border

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Today the good ole US of A’s hypocrisy-ridden ‘Beacon of Democracy’ Stars and Stripes flag has been lowered in Baghdad’s Green Zone at a ceremony designed to formally mark the end of ‘official’ US military operations in Iraq after nearly nine years of looking for non-existent weapons of mass distraction – plus contaminating the entire Tigris-Euphrates once-fertile crescent region with depleted uranium (radioactive half-life a mere 90,000 years) – and killing or maiming every fucker old enough to bleed.

The gospel according to the California-based Project Body Bag, an excess of one million Iraqi civilians – mainly women and children – have been killed and maimed since the illegal US-led invasion and occupation of the country was kick- started in 2003 by the dynamic duo of Super-Moron Dubya Bush and Tony ‘Porky Pies’ Bliar on the conjured pretext that Saddam Hussein’s regime possessed an arsenal of WMD - a free fire fiasco that turned order into chaos and initiated a sectarian conflict that has so far claimed countless innocent lives – and perhaps as many again involving a smorgasbord of guilty parties.

In a White House speech yesterday, the Kenyan impostor US President Barky O’Barmy hailed the extraordinary (sic) achievement of the military in Iraq and claimed they were leaving with heads held high (to provide a better target for insurgent militia snipers) – so reminiscent of Nixon’s hypocritical ‘Peace with Honour’ declaration when the Yanks scarpered out of Vietnam with their tails between their legs double-quick – defeated by a bunch of ‘emaciated gooks in black pyjamas’.

According to O’Barmy “The Iraqis owe the US a bit round of thanks for everything that American troops have done there – the white phosphorous attacks on Fallujah, all the fighting and killing – and devastating their entire civilian infrastructure and socio-political system. So let it be a lesson to any other Ayrab-Muslim dictators that get their names on our shit list - watch out – the Great Satan’s about!”

Conversely, this purported troop withdrawal besides, the US Embassy in Baghdad, with it’s already bloated staff of 8,000 personnel – is to be doubled to an actual 16,500 – to cater for US and related Western interests and form the hub of a massive Mid-East intelligence operation centre – (and perhaps provide Iran’s Revolutionary Guard’s Electronics Warfare Division with a steady supply of hijacked ROV stealth RQ-170 Sentinel and MQ-9 Reaper remote drones).

Intrinsic to this doubling of embassy staff with even more spooks and assassins - as the corruption-ridden and inept Iraqi government have stated they fear the consequences of being left to manage their own security - will be the involvement of scores of military specialist companies – including the disgraced and previously evicted / barred Slackwater XE Murder Services LLC – now disinfected and with past sins absolved by a team of paramilitary bishops and a ranking Vatican Cardinal - and re-branded by its new owners, USTC Holdings - a Wall Street investment group – as ACADEMI - (an ambiguous and cryptic play on semantics implying that all their mercenary employees will have a university degree in Homicidal Studies).

So, from the sidelines, now the US military psycho’s Operation Rape & Ruin in Iraq is over and they leave in their wake their customary ‘Order into Chaos’ trail of devastation, the Sunnis and Shites are gearing up for a long-overdue civil war showdown – with the hard-arsed Kurds stood on the sidelines ready to pick up the pieces and take charge - and proclaim “We are not America’s bitch!” as they prepare to kick out the US oil corporations and invite the Chinese in.

Meanwhile, the Iraq-based US troops from the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and 18th Body Bag Brigade will not be repatriated Stateside immediately – apart from those returning to Dover Airfield feet-first to have their dismembered limbs and festering torsos unceremoniously dumped on some Delaware landfill site.
Oh no, the final destination for these hotshots is the King Hussein al-Mafraq Air Base in Jordan – positioned right on the Syrian border - ready to play their belligerent part in the next episode of the ‘Let’s Start World War Three’ melodrama – a rehash of the Libyan regime change scenario to oust President Assad’s beleaguered government and replace the leadership with a member of the Muppet Show.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.