Jewish Kids Spurn Zionist Kikester Culture

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If Israel’s Jabotinskyist Prime Monster Bobo Nuttyahoo and the racist Knesset assembly aren’t having enough problems juggling ‘damage control’ this week over the international human rights brouhaha and condemnation concerning kidnapped Palestinian youths detained at the notorious Facility 1391 torture centre being murdered and having their internal organs harvested to supply the kikester’s global transplant black market trade – they’ve now copped for another Busby Berkeley ‘war crimes’ spectacular expose with General Shovrim Shtika, a military insider turned whistle-blower after his stifled conscience kicked in and he snitched on the IDF’s 18th Shechita Ethnic Cleansing Battalion.

Apparently the SECB, a sub-unit of the IDF’s elite 21st Hafganat Koah Genocide Brigade, have been grassed up for spiking the storage tanks of their high pressure water cannon trucks with a cocktail of either live salmonella and botulism viruses – or MRSA bacteria – or, when they get into one of their really sadistic, punitive action ‘Let’s punish the Palestinians for UNESCO’ moods – adding depleted uranium or similar highly toxic radioactive waste from their Dimona reactor that gets right into the DNA of the hapless Palestinian protesters massing around the blockaded Gaza Strip border crossings - and too in Jerusalem and the occupied West Bank where displaced families gather to demonstrate against the UN-condemned illegal settlements and further theft of their lands.

Ah well, such is life for the belligerent Jews of convenience running Israel’s global pariah state - if it wasn’t for bad luck they wouldn’t have any.
And now they’re faced with an outrageous publicity campaign being staged by a cabal of meshuggenah ultra-Chabad Rabbis and the Ministry of Immigrant Absorption, urging Israelis in the US to drop their espionage mole and false flag terror attack assignments to return home as it is feared they might be losing touch with their Zionist Israeli identity due living under the influence of the Great Satan.

The gutter press tabloid and television ads were also posted on the US-based Hasbara website and broadcast over Hebrew-language satellite channels. The campaign, which featured billboards in some US cities, has several Hebrew-language video ads.

In the first, the English-speaking Freddy Fagin, boyfriend of Sabra Shylock, a young Jewish woman, mistakes the candles and music marking Yom Hazikaron, (Israel's Memorial Day) for a romantic come-on by her to encourage him to actually get into her knickers for some real orgasmic sex - and quit the hours of tit-squeezing foreplay and covering her neck in blood-sucking hickeys.

The second ad in the campaign shows Miriam Matzpun Emet, a teenage girl living in California’s Kippa Valley, video-chatting on Skype with her grandparents at their new illegal settlement bungalow in the occupied West Bank during the Passover. Grand-dad spits the dummy after they ask her if she knows what holiday it is and cop the reply "Easter, of course – when you guys over there crucified Jesus Christ.”

Grand-dad Seymour then suffers an over-dramatised heart attack when they start to question her knowledge of Jewish history and ask if she knows the significance of Auschwitz – to which she replies with an arrogant air of cocky confidence “Yeah, it’s the concentration camp in Gaza where the IDF’s psychos pick the Palestinians off like fish in a barrel.”

Sheldon Scattstein at the Pound of Flesh Gazette, a pro-Zionist magazine, wrote in an editorial this week "I don't think I have ever seen a demonstration of Israeli contempt for American Jews as obvious as is displayed in these ads."

However, on Friday Scattstein published a statement from Rabbi Levi Rosenscum, head honcho at the New York-based St Shylock’s Temple of Latter Day Kikesters and spokesman for the Jewish Federation, who financed the ads.
“While I was the one who approved the Ministry of Immigrant Absorption's publicity campaign contract being awarded to a certain ‘Jolly Jihad Advertising Agency’ in downtown LA as they were cheap and came up with the lowest tender, I had no idea the company was owned and run by Muslims belonging to the Big Al Qaeda Gang and this was going to turn out to be a black propaganda campaign staged against Israel – and paid for by us.”

While the Israeli government immediately slammed down on the publishing and broadcast of the adverts, by that time they’d gone viral and were appearing all over the internet – with several of the more derogatory ones posted on YouTube and mirrored throughout cyberspace.

Miriam Matzpun Emet (real name Fatima Dhabiha) makes a solo debut in another ad’, telling the camera “My parents are real low-life Ashkenazi mongrels, so I’m sick and tired of being told we Jews are better than the goyim Gentiles and have superior intelligence and culture – especially when the truth is that we’re classed as global pariahs due a bunch of ZioNazi’s stealing Palestine off the rightful Arab Muslim owners and then making them refugees in their own land.”

“Next, I’ve had it with all this Chosen People bullshit too. Chosen for what - a world-wide campaign of Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions against us? Really, all my Jewish school pals are like me and pissed off making out that we’re part of Abraham’s tribe. In fact we’re thinking about converting to Christianity as Pope Benny’s so cool – and the guys are united in wanting to join the Jesuits – the Vatican’s Men in Black.”

“Plus we’re tired of hearing all the chutzpah and kvelling and hudaibiya and hasbara and schadenfreude. All the propaganda in fact - about anti-Semitism and this fantasy Holohoax committed by Hitler and his gang – especially when the IDF’s thugs are guilty of even worse war crimes and human rights abuses against the displaced and marginalised Palestinian populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip – which the Knesset have turned into the biggest concentration camps on the planet with their 30-odd foot high Great Apartheid Walls.”

“So fuck Israel and this Children of the Covenant crap – I’ve got myself one of the ‘goyim’ as a boyfriend now – and sex with him is so much better than with ‘brit milah’ guys as he hasn’t had the end chopped off his cock by some manky mohel. It’s all natural – the way God intended a man to be.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.