Monday, 19 December 2011

Tories Cop for Nazi Sympathies Scandal

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

During an interview with a press hack from the Fubar Gazette, the hapless Burley claimed he should have left the stag party earlier, prior to the erotic floorshow by Takem Orloff’s Stuttgart Strippers Revue, and not hung around enjoying himself, getting drunk, throwing Sieg Heil salutes and engaging in a risible session of black humour concentration camp jokes about the SS versus the Jews at the Auschwitz sports day.

Due the current brouhaha concerning the scandalous juvenile behaviour of Aidan Burley, the Tory MP for Cannock-on-the-Rhine, who attended a Nazi-themed stag party at the Vichy French Alpine ski resort of Klonkers - where the minimum wage pikey immigrant waiters had their forearms tattooed with profane German graffiti, and were then subjected to ridicule - and urinated on from a dizzy height by vulgarian Kraut guests pissing through the banquet hall’s balcony rails.

After photos and video footage of the hell-raising event were leaked to the Whistle Blowers Weekly and posted on Facebook and YouTube – which included Burley toasting Hitler and the Third Reich then snogging a pig dressed in a pink tutu and wearing an Angela Merkel mask - he was summarily sacked from his lucrative House of Conmans post as the PPAL (Personal Private Arse-Licker) to Transport Secretary Justine Greenfly.

Downing Street spokeswoman Fellattia Mingerot informed press hacks that ''Aidan has been a very wicked boy, wearing that silly Adolf style toothbrush moustache and a swastika armband – and then doing the goosestep to the tune of the Lambeth Walk. That’s why Posh Dave’s ordered his name entered into the Big Black Naughty Book.”

In relation to the afore-mentioned Burley faux pas and ensuing scandal, the paranoid-psychotic ex-FIA boss Max ‘Spankies’ Mosley has issued a press release denying he was present at the party and that his Gruppenfuhrer uniform is currently away at the dry cleaners having jizz stains removed.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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