Fiasco Week at EUSSR Brussels

Once again, the latest and the greatest from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

Greek Prime Minister Kostas Fukinopolis upset the politically-correct apple cart yesterday when he came very close to the truth and referred to the dodgy legislators and their venal bankster buddies steering Brussels’ ruling financial cabal “as a bunch of crooked corrupt twats” who had undermined Greece’s sovereignty and were bullying her into a state of eternal penury and debt-laden servitude beholden to the economic beck and call of Zionist Shylock usurers.

The escalating dispute came as a general strike in Greece spilled over into violent clashes between hooded nuns from St Sappho’s Novitiate and riot police in Athens.
Public and private sector unions joined forces with the convent harpies to bring the country to a standstill for 24 hours, halting flights, trains, and shipping, and shutting schools, hospitals and crematoriums – all of which prompted one sarcastic foreign diplomatic observer to comment he didn’t notice any significant difference in the general pace of things, and it was like any other day in the capital.

Conversely the chants of "burn the kike banksters" are perhaps a foretaste of festering tensions yet to manifest themselves once the rabid bite of EUSSR-enforced austerity measures really take effect in the coming months and your average blue-collar – and middle class - Greek joins the burgeoning ranks of unemployed European paupers.

According to the unqualified opinions of certain EUSSR toadies, Greece has greatly damaged its chances of a Brussels-sponsored bail-out after PM Fukinopolis gave Germany a caustic tongue-lashing over war-time atrocities - and further accusing the ever-mordacious Italy of cooking its books to hide public debt.

Herr Seigfried Kunttenberg, Germany’s EUSSR representative, in a typical display of unqualified Teutonic hubris, lectured the Greek delegation on their government’s lackadaisical approach to managing the national economy.

This prompted a vociferous verbal response from Prime Minister Fukinopolis who went into total dummy-spitting mode and declared Germany had no right to reproach Greece for anything after it devastated his country under the Nazi jackboot occupation during the Second World War, which left 300,000 dead.

"These Hitlerite Hun bastards stole our national gold reserves that were deposited in the Bank of Greece, and they never gave it back so it’s no wonder our economy’s all shagged up like a Turkish soup sandwich,” he informed the amused EUSSR assembly and correspondents from the tabloid gutter press.

Twisting an already-bloodied knife further, Fukinopolis then proclaimed in high voice that the current crop of EUSSR leaders were ‘as much use as tits on a bull” and – “a bunch of inept dog-wankers who had make a total bollocks of this month's crisis summit in Brussels”.

"The people who are supposed to be managing the fortunes of Europe are not up to the task. They are simply pushing the agenda of the Zionist cash rapists and usurers," he concluded before storming out of the assembly towards the executive car park where he proceeded to scratch offensive graffitti into the paintwork of Herr Kunttenberg’s official Mercedes limousine with the knurled edge of a five drachma coin.

Fisticuffs actually broke out in the men’s toilets later when Herr Hans-Werner Sinn, head of Germany's IFO Economic Institute, accosted Demetrios Spanakopita - one of Greece’s economic delegation - and declared the situation was surreal. "How can you scum call we Germans a bunch of incompetent Nazis and still expect a bail-out?"

Applying the same Greek rhetoric that led to Thermopylae and the stand of the Spartans, Spanakopita responded that his country was sick of becoming an economic guinea pig for squabbling Eurocracts playing power games and committing fiscal blackmail - then stuck the nut on the arrogant Kraut.

Picking up on the Greek PM’s daming cue concerning the inept bunch of dogwankers comprising the EUSSR’s leadership, Nigel Barrage, the UKIP MEP, leap into the fray and set forth on a self-promoting rampage of customary rudeness by launching a vitriolic attack against Herman Van Rumpy Pumpy, the former Belgian Prime Minister chosen to lead the European Council.

However Barrage now stands accused of opportunistically jumping on PM Fukinopolis’ bandwagon and issuing personal insults to win publicity by labelling the EUSSR’s new President as possessing “the charisma of a wet dishcloth” and dismissing Rumpy-Pumpy’s native Belgium “a total non-entity comprising a half Dutch and half French shithole.”

Calls for Barrage to apologise for his remarks denigrating Mr. Rumpy-Pumpy – especially so references to him “having the personality of a caravan site” and “being as popular as chemotherapy” - have gone unheeded.

In response Mr Van Rumpy Pumpy told reporters that he "would not stoop to that level" to respond to Barrage’s insults – mainly because he couldn’t speak English.

Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel.

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