Pasty Land Now on 24/7 Terror Watch

Once again, the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

The civil rights group ‘Anarchy First’ has questioned the value of implementing an anti-terrorism plan in Cornwall kindergartens.

The Smegmadale-on-Sea county council is planning to hold a £35,000 quid conference to train kindergarten teachers how to spot children who might grow up to become suicide bombers and blow up a local pasty factory as they become radicalised and brainwashed to hate traditional Cornish freedoms and democracy.

This follows a numpty Community Safety Accreditation Scheme presentation from both the local Plod Squad and the Common Purpose social engineering group to the council's Standing Advisory Council for Wasting Time & Money which focused on the possible implications of pre-school Muslim kiddies attending the madrassa kindergarten at the local mosque.

The council's religious education advisor Jacko Torquemada informed the council board that curbing violent extremism should be at the core of all education following the 9/11 false flag terrorist attacks.

Conversely, ‘Anarchy First’ claim the initiative, part of the Ministry of Propaganda and Scaremongering’s anti-terrorism strategy, could well foster paranoia.
Spokeswoman Fellattia Twatrot told the Jolly Jihad Gazette "All teachers have the capability be really good role models for children – apart from that old nasty mullah git with one eye and the hook.”
"But the idea of Christian teachers being constantly suspicious of Muslim pupils rather than trying to engage in a positive way is quite scary.”

“I mean we can’t have teachers spouting Hegelian dialectic and picking on kiddies just because they follow the teachings of the Koran – then bringing in the local Community Enforcement thugs who pronounce in front of the whole class “Ello, ello, ello, wot ‘ave we ‘ere then – young Mohammed looks like e’s gonna grow up ter be one of yer typical beardie types an’ make a career outa being a suicide bomber an’ blowin’ ‘imself up twice a week.”

“It’s a pretty terrifying state of affairs to know that once these moronic louts get tapping away on their pc’s then Mohammed’s name ends up on a global terrorist database and he gets snatched by bounty hunters while walking across the local B & Q car park and shipped out on the next CIA extraordinary rendition flight to Israel – and ends up in some Auschwitz-style Konzentrationslager in the middle of the Negev Desert.”
“Seriously in my opinion the whole effin’ school board’s gone totally Bodmin!”

However one Smegmadale-on-Sea resident – the Birmingham-born author Fatima Sharmuta – an adherent of Islam herself - holds a contradictory view.
Ms. Sharmuta’s recently-released book - published by Bradford’s Jolly Jihad Press – “How to become a Muslim Extremist and still claim Jobseekers Allowance’ – has just won a Phucker Prize and is set become an international best-seller – especially among unemployed Muslims.

Sharmuta opined to a reporter from the Pasty’s Gazette that a nationwide campaign against Islamic extremism should be adopted from the cradle onwards – ideally commencing at the kindergarten stage.

“Seriously, we don’t want these disaffected al Qaeda and Taliban types coming here and enforcing their Sharia Laws on us – telling us we have to remain in purdah and wearing those sexless burkhas – then blowing things up. It’s bad enough already with MI6 and Mossad pulling false flag jobs and blaming us without our people joining in.”

“Thus I say ‘go ahead’ – target these kids at kindergarten age and if they start to get radicalised then send them off for a spot of shock and awe deprogramming before they get blamed for bombing the local bakers and end up as a pasty patsy.”

Allergy warning : This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of untruths, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If Al Qaeda shits on Lands End and there’s no-one around to smell it, how will MI5 ever find out?