Monday, 29 March 2010

Bin Laden Threatens US from the Grave

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill - providing additional proof that this is the month of the Mad March Hare.

Deceased Al Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden, speaking through his regular CIA clairvoyant medium at a Washington kidney dialysis clinic séance last night, warned that ‘legions’ more Americans would be slaughtered if Mohammed al Pasty - the Mossad-brainwashed self-proclaimed mastermind behind the 9/11 false flag attacks - is executed for the crimes committed by Israel and their American agents.

“If the Great Satan bends to the corrupt commands of their Zionist kike masters and make such a decision to that goes against the will of Allah the Almighty - to execute Mohammed bin Patsy and his Fedayeen compatriots - then the Mujahideen fighters of the Green Crescent’s Jolly Jihad Brigades will be sent forth to loose havoc on the infidels – led by the ghosts of the martyred Shaheed.”

The table-rattling spirit of the former al-Qaeda leader further warned President Barky Hussein O’Barmy of ‘personal retribution’ for his apostasy and perfidious crimes against islam – threatening the publication of his Kenyan birth certificate and too a copy of his Indonesian Barry Soetoro passport – stamped with a Muslim Hajji visa for entry to Jeddah and Mecca in 1978.

“The Kenyan cuckoo squatted in the Oval Office nest shall have ten kinds of shit fall upon his head and upon the tents of his tribe – and for all eternity shall he remain the colour he is – never to become white like Michael Jackson.”

The Virginia-based Intel-Center spokesman, Colonel Billy Bob Rosenscum, told a reporter from the Ouija Board Gazette that the voice recordings of the Bin Laden apparition’s statements checked out to be as genuine as all the earlier tapes the CIA had released for public scaremongering.

“Hey, I ain’t joking – this is either the real McCoy or a very authentic forgery – so we need to step up TSA manning at all our airports and points of entry to the US - then recruit another bunch of Homeland Security goons from Slackwater/ XE - and be very afraid. Thank God for Dubya’s Patriot Act”

The last Tinsel Town séance tape aired in January, in which Bin Laden’s ghost declared that al-Qaeda was responsible for the attempted high explosive dirty knickers ‘crotch bombing’ of a Detroit-bound airliner on Christmas Day by the Nigerian Muslim radical Jihadist - Ibn Zamel al Stooge.

It has been speculated that Bin Laden's taped netherworld messages often air days after they have been recorded as they are thought to be carried by pigeon courier from his secret hideaway within the Islamic ‘Paradise’.

Conversely Bin Laden is well known by Western intelligence agencies for his beyond-the-grave boasts and exaggerations – and even claiming responsibility for Mossad’s false flag operations - and anything else that goes Ka-Boom!

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange declaration: No Afghan civilians or Muslim types were harmed in posting this message. However several American consciences were ‘temporarily’ stirred.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If Big Al Qaeda shits in a cave around Tora Bora and there’s no NATO troops around to smell it, does it still stink?

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