Thursday, 18 March 2010

Pope Plans Jockland Paedo Cover Up Mission

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill.

Pope Benny, the all-new Mk XVI German ‘built to last’ Uber-Pontiff model has confirmed dates for his September visit to Scotland to bestow ground-breaking blessings on Donald Trump’s super-mega eco-disaster golf links soon to be carved out of Aberdeen’s pristine coastline.

Well, as soon as the criminal lawyers and Holyrood politicians have implemented the illegal compulsory purchase seizures of the lands that the Trump Dump complex is demanding the government heist from the rightful primal owners. But that won’t present much of a problem to Jockland’s crooked legal establishment.

Benny will also be slapping a few kiddie fiddling wrists around Aberdeen’s Catholic churches too – those of pederast priests who can’t seem to keep their cocks in their cassocks and their sticky perverted fingers off choirboys.

But that’s all in a day’s work for Pope Benny. Prior to Pope John Paul 2 expiring his use-by date and popping his clogs, Benny was known as Cardinal Joseph Ratflinger – the ex-Nazi Prefect of the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith – formally the Office of the Inquisition - who directed that all serious child sexual abuse offences committed by paedo’ priests be first investigated internally by the Vatican’s Department for Whitewash & Coverups.

Benny further reinforced this strict cover-up policy by introducing a new principle: that the Vatican must have what he termed ‘Exclusive Competence’ which in essence erected a virtual "wall of silence," to conceal and protect the Church’s dodgy criminal kiddie fiddling priests – and minimise scandals and compensation.

The child victims were covertly paid off and coerced into swearing ‘vows of silence’- and threatened that if they ever repeated the allegations they would be excommunicated and go to Hell where Satan and his demons would bugger them rotten ten times per day.

Thus with that background Benny is well qualified to pass on a few words of advice to the Masonic membership of the Aberdeen-based Ferryhill Paedophiles Society on how to cover their tracks and continue to avoid the pot-boiler child sexual abuse – and murder – scandals that are pretty well set to erupt in grand volcanic fashion concerning the Holly Greig paedo’ sexual abuse case.

Following his visit to the country’s Aberdeen crime capital, Pope Benny will head off to Edinburgh, where he’ll be received by the Queen and Scotland’s career criminal politicians at the Holyrood Parliament – and be presented with a souvenir edition kilt cut from his very own Bavarian ‘Ratflinger tartan’.

Then it will be ‘Hiyo Silver and away’ as Benny travels across to Ireland to present Cardinal Sean Brady, head of Eire’s Catholic Church, with a pink slip and a DCM (Don’t Come Monday) for making a total bollocks of covering up the scores of child sexual abuse complaints against Father Brendan Smyth – the priest at the centre of the St Sodom’s Church of Latter Day Catamites scandal – and Ireland’s most notorious kiddie fiddling priest to be named and caught - to date.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange declaration: No choirboys, girl guides, woolly farm animals or domestic pets were molested while posting this message. However, a large number of dodgy priests suffered temporary anxiety attacks.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a priest-infested area and may contain traces of Catholic dogma and choirboy’s underwear.

Thought for the day: We all know why bears shit in the woods but why the fuck does the Pope wear a big hat?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.


Ali said...

Is this supposed to be funny. I know something that's funny. You won't think so. But, believe me, it's going to be so funny. For me, anyway.

Anonymous said...

It won't be funny for Tim, that's for sure. Do you think Tim will still be able to find work? Yes, it's going to be very bad for Tim.

Does Tim want to chat or is it straight to press?

Anonymous said...

I wish Rusty would write about the peculiar self loathing of men who marry mail order brides, about the intrinsic racism and resentment of men who are forced "to settle for" someone they actually loathe. Rusty should turn his attention to this matter.
Probably, Rusty should prepare himself for some pretty spectacular media coverage of his vile attacks on Danus McKinlay's family. Still, at least we'll all see the coward hiding beyond what he thought was his anonymity.

I told you I was coming to get you, Rusty.

Anonymous said...

Immigration called. Revenue called. Tim, the gook will want out.

Take that McKinlay post down now, Tim.

Rusty the Boddington's Badger said...

URL hunt without a court order? Sounds like an obvious abuse of official channels for personal rancour. Tut.
Mail order brides? Que?
Gook? Rascist remarks? Tut.
U think u know so much yet know so little.
Obviously confusing me with someone who gives a flying fuck - or reads newspapers.
Oh, I've ammended the offending Mac-Faggot skit - and made it even more offensive - just fer you sweetie.
Oh, ps - thanks for your e-addy - and ILP.

Rusty the Boddington's Badger said...

Well, Ali or Monty - whatever yer name really is - heres' yer reply to yer threats.
Jockland's Masonic Mafia & abuse of official office & powers:

Funny old world - our Tim will be right pleased to see his name in the press - good bit of libel
there for a wee earner.
Just been chattin to Rob Green n Davy Icke on the old IM viz yer 'threats'.
Now wouldn't it be the height of fucking irony if you can get a nasty hatchet job about my
Skewed News Views blogsite splattered across the media and we, for the merry Hell of us, can't even get the Hollie Greig sexual abuse case a single mention in the south of the border UK press.
That's when yer sorta know something major's fucked with the law and justice system in this once sceptered isle of ours.
Anyways, apologies fer libelling yer 'deceased' buddy - but he did keep bad company - probably jest like you - Tut.
So, keep up the abusive n threatening comments on me blog site - at least someone's reading it.
Oh, and the e-mails if yer not too busy covering up scandals.
I always fancied me own personal stalker - especially a deranged weirdo in a kilt.
But hopefully not a kiddie fiddler too are ye - like the rest of yer associate clan up there?
Might catch ye in Berwick-upon-Tweed this Sunday.
Jake - the other / right Rusty.