Tony Bliar Richer Than Croesus

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill - with additional proof that this is the month of the Mad March Hare.

Career criminal Tony Bliar waged a sinister, profit-motivated battle since 2003 to keep secret a corrupt deal with a multinational oil corporation which now – thanks to Bliar - has extensive interests in Iraq – the Third World shithole the ex-PM dragged the UK into illegally invading in 2003 and bombed back into the Stone Age – in the name of Democracy.

According to front page reports embellishing today’s copy of the Scandalmongers Gazette the scumbag ex-PM tried to keep the British peasantry in the dark over his dealings with South Korean oil firm UI Energy Corporation.

Bliar - who has made a tax-free £20 zillion quid since quitting Downing Street in June 2007 - also went to great efforts to keep hidden a £1 million cash-in-hand deal advising the ruling royal family in Iraq's neighbour Kuwait – while he was still Slime Minister.

In an unprecedented move, he cajoled the Advisory Committee on Business Appointments – whose established purpose is to vet the jobs of former ministers - to keep details of both corrupt deals from the public for 20 months, claiming it was commercially sensitive – and he was a”pretty up-front sort of bloke”.

The committee agreed to suspend its normal practice and keep the deals secret for three months but Bliar then asked for a further extension.

However the deals were blown wide open for trial in the Court of Public Opinion yesterday when the Chairman of ACBA – Sir Irwin Bogbrush - finally lost patience with Bliar’s self-serving evasive bullshit and decided to ignore his objections and passed details of both deals onto Parliament’s Snitch & Grassers office for general circulation via the graft and corruption grapevine.

News of the secret crony deals fuelled fresh accusations that the untrustworthy Bliar has been personally 'cashing in on his contacts' and the illegal Iraq war while he was still in office – an act one Tory MP termed 'revolving door politics at its worst'.

These scandalous revelations also shed fresh light on his astonishing earnings, which include lucrative after-dinner speeches - telling dirty jokes; plus consultancies with banks and foreign governments, a generous advance for his forthcoming memoirs “Tony’s Twatanomics” - as well as the pension and other perks he enjoys as a former Slime Minister.

The full extent of Bliar’s income is cloaked in secrecy due his Rothshite Zionist crime syndicate buddies constructing a complex web of shadowy companies and partnerships which allows him to hide mega-bucks earnings from both felonious kick-backs and semi-legal commercial ventures.

This dodgy arrangement has so far protected him from being charged with offences of Misconduct in Public Office - and prosecution under the statutes of the Serious Fraud Act 2006 and the Thieving Gits Act 1968 – although poitical enemies are still hoping he will eventually face Universal Jurispudence charges for war crimes – along with his fellow offender – the moronic George Dubya Bush.

Tory MP for East Twatford, Douglas Arsesmell told a reporter from the Daily Shitraker concerning Bliar's links to the Korea-owned UI Energy Corporation: 'This doesn't just look bad, it stinks of a culture of graft and corruption that has permeated the entire New Labour political machine since it unfortunately got into office in 1997.”

Liberal Democrat MP for Numpty Hamlets, Norman Bonkers opined to Pox News 'These revelations show that our former Prime Minister is for sale like a five dollar whore - he is driven by making as much money as possible.”

“We think the public will find it deeply offensive that he is cashing in on his contacts from the Iraq war to make money for himself – especially so by advising a consortium of oil and gas investors led by UI Energy since January of 2003 – before he and Bush were ordered to fake their Weapons of Mass Distraction dossier and kick-start an illegal invasion - and a bloody conflict that is still going on.”

The exact nature of the deal is unknown, but UI Energy is one of the biggest investors in Iraq's oil-rich Lemon Kurdistan region, which became semi-autonomous in mid-2003 after the Lemon Kurds slaughtered all Saddam’s Republican Guard units garrisoned in the region.

Bliar's fee has never been formally disclosed but is likely to amount to what banksters and accountants refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’.
However the secrecy arouses the worst kinds of suspicions and speculations as the Korean CEO of UI Energy – Kim il Kimchi - is fond of boasting of the corporation’s string of ‘foreign jukebox political cronys and stooges’ who include the former Australian prime minister Bob Squawk and several serving American politico scumbags.

Alas Bliar - a career bottom feeder with a lot of mongrel in his dubious pedigree – and too a person I’ve always considered the English language lacks the necessary words to describe him and his human frailty ‘condition’ of contemptible greed and lust for material gain regardless of the expense or suffering of others.

He surrendered the facility for Truth for temporal wealth – and at the same time had the bare-faced audacity to convert to Catholicism. Now how’s that for gross hypocrisy.

Would you buy a used car from Tony Bliar? How about used Weapons of Mass Distraction? Have you ever shaken hands with Bliar? Did you count your fingers afterwards? Were any missing?

Allergy warning : This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If Tony Bliar shits in the woods and there’s no-one around from the Parliamentary Ombudsman’s office to smell it, does it still stink?