Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Crackpot Councils Fine Selves for Parking

According to a report in this morning’s Daily Shitraker a score of local authorities across the UK have issued parking tickets against their own council vehicles - then refused to pay the fines to themselves – which critics have been quick to jump on and point out the fiasco illustrates everything that is wrong with unaccountable parking enforcement in Britain carried out by the traffic wardens from Renta-Moron.

Crackpot councils routinely take themselves to court over disputed parking tickets their wardens have issued to their own vehicles – portraying a classic case of the right hand not having a phucking clue what the left hand is doing.

In one case, Scumborough Hamlets Council in London not only issued a parking ticket to its own vehicle but then chased its own tail at the Parking Adjudicator – plus requested legal costs and damages against itself.

Jacko McTwat, a Sunday Crapmonger columnist and author of the best-selling “Yer Couldn’t Make This Shit Up: Crazy Councils, Meter Madness & Traffic Warden Hell”, who uncovered the practice, further claims that councils also issue parking tickets against other councils, and pursue these cases all the way to the Parking Adjudicator’s desk.

Last year Shitford-on-Sea Council issued a parking ticket to one of its own vehicles. The Highways & Works Department receiving the ticket disputed the validity of the Penalty Charge Notice and appealed against the fine.
The council declined the appeal so the department took the case to the Parking Adjudicator.

At this stage, the council submitted no evidence so the ticket was cancelled.
The department that appealed the ticket then applied to have their costs reimbursed.
The bewildered Adjudicator – Mr Armitage Shanks LLB - did not award costs, stating with more than a hint of sarcasm at the idiotic irony of the situation “The brain-dead Councillor Fuctifino who signed the Penalty Charge Notice is the self-same Councillor Fuctifino who is now appealing to have legal costs reimbused on belhalf of the Highways & Works Department.”

“In my assessment this clot Fuctifino, in applying for costs, is obviously demonstrating that Shitford-on-Sea Council believe that they acted wholly unreasonably or vexatiously against themselves.”
“If they ever make a sequel to the film Dumb and Dumber I would suggest that the producers look no further than Shitford-on-Sea’s Parking Department to fill the starring roles.”

Conversely Shitford-on-Sea is not the only council that has pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator.
The Royal Borough of Numptygate in London also experienced dire problems dealing with reality and issued a parking ticket against a flatbed vehicle it had hired from Renta-Banger.
The council not only pursued itself at the Parking Adjudicator, but won the case and had to pay itself the parking ticket plus costs.

When they failed to pay themselves the fine within the allotted 14 days, they then opted for the most ludicrous proceedure possible and mobilised bailiffs who seized council property to the amount owed – specifically the offending flatbed truck that the council didn’t own in the first instance.

Allergy warning : This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy.

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