MI6 Claim ‘Tit Bombs’ Latest Terrorist Threat

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with additional proof that this is the month of the Mad March Hare.

According to a top secret terrorist intelligence report discovered by homeless scavvies in a pile of men’s magazines while mooching around on a landfill site at Smegmadale-on-Sea, female – and too shemale – Muslim suicide bombers are being surgically kitted out with high explosive breast implants which are nigh on impossible to detect – until they actually go Ka-Boom!

The shocking MI6 report - titled ‘Demonising Islam & Muslims: Part #126’ – reveals the novel Al Qaeda terror tactic involves radical doctors inserting the explosives in women's breasts during a simple plastic surgery procedure — making them invisible to airport scanning machines.

The Patsy & Schmucks Gazette, along with the False Flag Review, both report it is believed the surgeons performing the ‘bomb op’s’ have been trained at some of Britain's leading teaching hospitals before returning to their own basket case disaffected countries to perform the surgical procedures so the split-arsed Shaheed can attack the Great Satan – and their cohorts and cronies across the EUSSR and rain destruction upon our hated Democratic freedoms – whatever they are.

The ‘discarded’ MI6 report further states that female Fedayeen suicide bombers are being recruited by Big Al Qaeda personally to have Semtex and PETN high explosive charges inserted in their breasts using the same medical techniques as breast enhancement surgery.
It is further rumoured that the Jolly Jihad Brigade’s ranks have been augmented with scores of Islamic radical transvestites, who are undergoing hormone therapy followed by Boob Bomb surgery.

The discovery of plans for these radical ‘suicide bombs’ was made after the Nigerian-born Umar Fuckwit al Patsy came close to blowing off his wedding tackle on an Northwest Scarelines plane over the U.S. on Christmas Day when he attemppted to detonate the explosive dirty knickers crotch bomb he was wearing.

Within hours after he had failed, Britain's intelligence services began to pick up lots of "clucking and chatter" emanating from Pakistan and Yemen that alerted MI6 to the design of the lethal breast implants.

Military explosive specialists have now confirmed that a Muslim woman’s breast implant containing as little as five ounces of PETN could blow "a considerable hole" in the side of a commericial aircraft – besides blasting a ‘considerable’ hole in her bra too.

Five ounces of high explosive is estimated to equal a mere 32A brassier cup size, so a common or garden pair of 36CC knockers could well blast a Boeing 787 Screamliner or Airbus A380-800 out of the sky with a quick twist of a perky erect nipple.

Thus it is now being bandied that airport security will have the recently commissioned ‘full body’ scanner teams further augmented with a trained ‘Tit Squeezer’ assigned to detect explosive breast implants in well-endowed ladies – and too in any porky males of the species sporting a pair of ‘man tits’.

Rumours currently abound that recruitment guidelines for the posts must stipulate Straight Females Only – with all male and lesbian candidates barred from applying.

So, from suitcase bombs we evolve to Semtex vests to non-exploding ‘shoe’ bombs to smouldering underwear crotch bombs – and now from Booby Traps to ‘Boob Traps’.

Would you allow some dodgy dyke in a Renta-Thug security uniform to squeeze your tits and pinch your nipples while queuing to board a flight? Really? Oh well, whatever turns you on.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.