Paki’ Taliban Planted Times Square Bomb

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the Oracle at False Flag Central now claims to have irrevocable proof that the ‘dud / no blow’ Bad Apple’s Times Square car bomb plot was the insidious work of a group of Pakistan-based Taliban mujahideen – obviously composed of a cadre of bungling amateurs who cobbled together a half-arsed IED whose individual components, even when combined, still couldn’t blow the socks off a dead man.

Faisal Shazhad al Patsy, a Pakistan-born US citizen from East Moronville, Connecticut, has agreed to co-operate with federal investigators following a couple of water boarding sessions and an Abu Ghraib manicure, and admits receiving explosive ordnance training in the Pakistani 'Grassy Knoll' region of Waziristan and being awarded an NVQ1 ‘Bombers’ diploma from a Taliban militant group known only by their Jihadi moniker of ‘Al Istimna’ (The Wankers).

Considering the Heath Robinson state of the hodgepodge explosive device and the modus operandi employed in stealthily deploying it – in the back of an SUV with the doors left open, hazard lights flashing and engine running – all that was missing to round off the Muppet Show fiasco was a big sign propped up against the Nissan Pathfinder’s windscreen declaring “Danger - Car Bomb Aboard!”

Hence, if this pathetic effort actually was an Islamic terrorist bomb plot to kill and maim legions of innocent shoppers, tourists and theatre-goers – and not another of Mossad’s sloppy false flag scaremongering jobs - why is anyone taking the Taliban seriously or frightened of them if they can’t even put together an Improvised Explosive Device out of propane tanks, drums of gasoline, fertilizer and a stack of Chinese M88 Maxi-Pop firecrackers and make it go ‘KA-BOOM!’

For phuck’s sake, it was only a couple of weeks ago the Ministry of Propaganda was spouting off about these blokes being capable of building weapons of mass distraction and detonating a nuclear radiological dirty bomb device on our very doorsteps. Now it comes down to the fact they can’t even set off a couple of cherry bombs. The entire bungling incident inspires one to wonder if these guys were trained by Wiley T. Coyote. Personally we’ve seen better organised riots.

Considering any fucker or their dog can go online and Google IED recipes from the Anarchist’s Cookbook and find all the ingredients they need to blow up an average size town in the kitchen cupboards and under the sink, then the Taliban mujahideen and Mr Faisal Shazhad al Patsy have quite a ways to go before they’re a danger to anyone – apart from themselves.

Conversely, as we can smell a Zionist kikester 'Mohammed al Patsy' plot a mile off, the entire pantomime fiasco has ‘false flag op’ scrawled right across it.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No Times Square shoppers or tourists were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of false flag agent provocateurs cum terrorists were temporarily exposed.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If the Taliban have upped roots and Tally-ho’d their black arses out of Afghanistan and down into the Islamic Nuclear Republic of Pakistan, are they gonna re-name themselves ‘the Pakiban’?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.