Calderon: Dora the Explorer not Mexican

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Down Mexico way the incompetent President Felipe Calderon and his ruling Graft & Corruption Party greasers went into headless chicken mode earlier this week when Arizona’s State Legislature had the outrageous audacity to pass their state SB 1070 Illegal Immigrant Bill which aims to target all the wetback beaners currently squatting in the state without visas or green cards.

Although who can blame Calderon for labelling the Grand Canyon State’s politicians neo-Nazi racist scumbags when his mismanaged Third World shithole of a country is the largest contributor of illegal aliens (12 to 15 zillion) now living and working in the US as there is sweet fuck all in the way of welfare to be had back home – apart from unemployment with a capital U and poverty with a capital P – and even more fucking beans - with a capital B.

However, what’s worrying Calderon is the fact these wetback Spics residing in the United States contribute $24 billion back to the Mexican government’s financial coffers annually in US dollar forex cash transfers – while in total contradiction to the rules of Fair Play the illegal’s criminal activities and generalised lawlessness costs American taxpayers $346 billion per annum spread across 15 US federal agencies.
Amazingly, the inept Calderon and his fellow plutocrats cannot and will not provide jobs and a valid economy for Mexico's own people - whereas his country transports and provides $75 billion in drugs that his criminal cartel cronies ship into the United States annually.

Both the US and Mexican governments refuse to put a halt the people smuggling - and drug smuggling - at the border. Yet a simple deployment of 50,000 U.S. troops from Brownsville, Texas, across 1,952 miles to San Diego CA - issued with shoot on sight / to kill orders – would curb the illegal immigration and drug smuggling into the US within a week.

However, with corrupt bureaucrats at all levels of government, and on both sides of the border, raking in mega-amounts of ready unmarked dollar bills for turning a blind eye then no fucker or their dog’s in too much of a sweat to clamp down on the drugs or people smuggling.

Unfortunately, we discover duplicity, scandal, corruption, deceit and immorality on both sides of the Mexican border with the United States. Both governments lie, cheat and steal on multiple levels, with both U.S. Republicans and Democrats failing their constituents at every juncture.

Conversely, as illegals overran Arizona, that state instituted its own SB 1070 legislation to mirror federal statutes. President Barky O’Barmy – himself an illegal Kenyan- Indonesian Muslim immigrant groomed and put into the White House by kikester crime syndicate money - chastised Arizona, but backed off like a coyote faced with an irate porcupine when public opinion polls showed a solid 73 percent support from American citizens for Arizona’s actions.

If American policymakers require a legal model on which to base new laws restricting immigration and expelling foreign lawbreakers they have the Immigration Guide for Dummies right there at hand - the Mexican constitution itself.
The Mexican constitution (sic) segregates immigrants and naturalized citizens from those native-born by denying immigrants the basic human rights that even illegal Mexican immigrants enjoy in the United States.

Further, the Mexican constitution expressly forbids non-citizens to participate in the country's political life - as anyone from abroad armed with a half-arsed education can see through the façade of lies and corrupt deceits perpetrated by the incumbent governments.
Nonetheless, President Calderon lobbed a few verbal nasties at how 'unfair' and 'un-neighbourly' Arizona's Governor Ghengis McTwatt treats illegal beaners.

Now Mexican campaigners against the controversial new SB 1070 immigration law in the US state of Arizona – soon to be fast track legislated and enforced by a further 17 states - have adopted a popular children's cartoon character as a symbol of their cause.

Dora the Explorer, labelled by many God-fearing ‘good parenting’ groups in the US as a Spic three-holer, and a crack whore who probably sucks n swallows to boot, has taught zillions of American children basic Spanish phrases such as “Besa mi culo, puto”; “Chinga tu Madre”; “Viete a la mierda!” and “Pinche pendejo” on her Nickelodeon TV show.

Now a doctored image on the anti-SB 1070 law internet website now shows the cartoon heroine with a split lips and a black eye in a USCIA / Arizona Highway Patrol police mugshot – with her alleged crimes being illegal border crossing and resisting arrest – and her inherent human rights shot all to buggery.

For almost a decade, the feisty cartoon heroine has been one of the most prominent Hispanic characters on children's television in the US. Her TV show has spawned a mega-bucks black market and hard drugs empire, with her smiling face and ‘come-to-bed’ eyes appearing on everything from condom packs to paedophile websites.

Yet as the controversy over illegal immigration has intensified, Dora has been drawn into the political debate along with Channel Five’s Peppa Pig and celebrity Columbian wetback ‘Ugly Betty’ Suarez – with the London’s 2012 Rapture Olympics mutant mascots Wenlock and Manderville volunteering to throw in their two penny-worth as well in support of any worthwhile cause.

Most of the websites that have appropriated her image assume she’s a Spic migrant from Mexico due the amount of beans and tortillas she eats – and her unsociable propensity for dropping gnarly farts in the midst of polite Christian society.

Dora, who turns tricks for a couple of bucks, has brown skin, dark hair, and speaks Spanish with an American accent. She lives in a basket case Third World tropical country with pyramids, accompanied by her best pals Chico Pendejo, the drug cartel enforcer and Pancho Burrito, a one-legged leper.

But while Nickelodeon has declined to comment on her background, and her place of birth and citizenship have never been made clear by programme producers, Mexican President Calderon has this week declared for the record that Dora in not a Mexican citizen but a Nicaraguan agent provocateur out to stir up trouble for the emerging North American Union.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits in the Rio Grande which side gets to poop scoop it?

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