MI5’s 7/7 Attack Files Not For Public View

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the sons of Belial.

A Coroner’s hearing has been informed by Sir Irwin Bogbrush, senior civil service mandarin at the Ministry of Secrecy, that it will be impossible to reveal publicly the clandestine MI5 files about how their Dirty Tricks Department and Mossad’s Istimna Squad pulled a joint false flag operation on 7/7 to initiate the London Underground tube train terror attacks in an attempt to provoke the Anglo-Saxon peasantry into a campaign of rage and sectarian hatred against Muslims - and anyone else who looked to be of slightly Mid-Eastern origin or had a touch of the tar brush in their genes.

Ms Sue Fleecem, a partner from Upshot, Shitpot and Bagrot, the law firm representing the families of those who died and are still seeking justice five years on, further argued the inquest hearing should also look at whether the intelligence services could have prevented the attacks – possibly by refusing to follow the orders of their Illuminati Zionist masters and not participate in them.

The claim has been made at the hearing to decide the format of the inquests into the deaths of those killed on the 7/7/2005 – with Sir Armitage Shanks, counsel for the Home Secretary and MI5 arguing that any examination of MI5's involvement - or that of MI6 - was outside the scope of the inquests – and any other do-gooder nosey parker busybody who valued their hide and didn’t fancy being found dead in the woods with a slashed wrist - courtesy of the 22nd SAS ‘Assisted Suicide’ squad.

According to the concocted official version of events (specially written for the occasion by the Tavistock Institute-based script writing team who midwived such classics animated fantasies as the Pan-Am Lockerbie Air Show, the 9/11 WTC Extravaganza and the Hole in the Pentagon Spectacular ) four suicide bombers led by Jolly Jihadi radical Mohammed al Patsy detonated their devices on three tube trains and a double decker bus - killing a total of 52 people - plus scaring the shit out of hundreds more and causing a nation-wide anxiety attack.

Intelligence officers maintain Mohammed al Patsy was killed when he detonated his own compact backpack bomb – believed to contain 250 kilos of PETN high explosives, half a ton of ammonium nitrate fertilizer and three 12.8 kilo LPG cylinders – while hiding underneath the carriages as the tube train pulled into the Grassy Knoll Station on the Red Herring Line.

Conversely, Mrs Zeenat al Patsy, the Leeds-based wife of Mohammed, claims her husband was at their local mosque that fateful morning watching the Jolly Jihadi Olympics on the Mullah’s new 100 inch plasma screen telly as he had a £25 each-way bet on Hezbollah’s ‘Saracen Scallies’ to win the ‘Extreme Stoning’ event on the Al Jazeera Sports Plus channel.

Apparently Mr al Patsy left the mosque and headed off to the local Bet-a-Shekel bookies to collect his winnings and was never seen again.

MI5 were quick to contradict this fact and emphasise that al Patsy was the one killed at the Grassy Knoll Station stop - and was not a member of the ‘Other-Other’ terrorist group coincidentally snuffed at Canary Wharf later that morning by trigger-happy members of the Met’s CO19 Armed Response Unit who reportedly mistook them for a bunch of Brazilian electricians.

Planted stories appeared across the front page of the Cry Wolf Gazette following the attacks that UK security agencies came across two of the terrorist bombers in 2004 while investigating reports of exploding Eccles cakes and radioactive yoghurt being smuggled into the UK via the Stooge Woods airfield near Schmuckton-on-Sea.
However, preliminary assessments questioned their actual reliability and if they possessed the required mindsets to become suitable ‘patsy’ material.

Following objections from Lord Justice Twattfield, the government-appointed Coroner, the hearing at the Royal Courts of Justice was then informed by Sir Irwin Bogbrush there would be no problem with providing highly sensitive intelligence material to the Coroner himself as long as he signed the Official Secrets Act.
However jurors and counsel for the 7/7 victim’s families would only be permitted to view the material if they all underwent a programme of intrusive "developed vetting" (brainwashing) with the Common Purpose group - and further agreed to be lobotomised after.

Sir Armitage Shanks QC, counsel for the Home Secretary and MI5, further informed the hearing that the Conspiracy Theory camp’s accusations concerning MI5's involvement in the 7/7 terrorist attacks had been adequately investigated and generated at least two official coverup reports from the Intelligence and Security Whitewash Committee (ISWC) - composed of security-cleared MPs – and chaired by Lord Peter Scandalson, ex-Home Secretary David Blindgit - and his faithful dog Sadie.

As Sir Armitage informed members of the gutter press outside the Royal Courts of Justice “Well, this is the government we’re talking about here – if you can’t trust Lord Scandalson and David Blindgit, who in the government can you trust?

Exactly!

Thought for the day: It can only be concluded that there must exist some clandestine ‘skeletons-in-the-cupboard type agreement between world nations that, even when it is patently obvious, one country will never expose the criminal nor moronic activities of another’s intelligence agency.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.