Kim il Patsy Blamed for Cheonan Sinking

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Initial reports of the sinking of the South Korean warship Cheonan had provoked fears that the NorKor’s might have attacked the ship with a torpedo for a bit of a laugh and to liven up a dull afternoon’s submarine patrol duty.

However South Korean military authorities then claimed there was no evidence that North Korean forces were to blame, issuing a media statement at the end of March that “Speculation is now turning to the possibility that the Cheonan had perhaps struck a sea mine that had broken free from its mooring.”

Yet despite the South Korean statement and strong denials by the NorKor’s of any involvement - plus expressions of sympathy for lost fellow Koreans – the fingers of Seoul’s Zionist American puppets are now being pointed back at Pyongyang over the tragic sinking of the ROKS 1,200-ton corvette Cheonan (PCC-772) in the Yellow Peril Sea off Baengnyeong Island on the night of March 26th.

Thus, in order to blame the NorKor’s and set the stage for a war that will conveniently displace the unfolding nightmare of the engineered global economic implosion, a joint civilian-military investigation group of military and civilian experts from the US, Israel, Australia and Germany was quickly cobbled together this last week.

Yesterday these so-called self-appointed propaganda disseminators posing as submarine warfare ‘experts’ claimed to have recovered the remains of a torpedo from the sea bed – with identifiable NorKor markings on the propulsion housing.

Excuse me, is any fucker or their dog awake around here? These dodgy ‘marine ordnance experts’ have found the arse end of a TYPE 53-59 torpedo on the sea bed with some ‘North Korean’ characters scribbled on it with chalk. Fer fuck’s sake, gimmee an effin’ break. Does any political or military analyst reading these ‘blame’ reports actually know what torpedoes do?

They get packed chocker block full with mega-kilos (260 kg) of PBX hexogen / aluminium (equivalent to 460 kg of TNT) with magnetic influence and contact fuses and a wake homing sensor and blow the fuck up with so big a bang that the fish for miles around go stone deaf – and blast huge holes in the hulls of whatever they hit – submarines, warships – and corvettes like the Cheonan.

Hence it must be realised that in this destructive act of detonating and ‘blowing up’ when they hit their target not only do they blast a big ‘sink me quick’ hole in the hull they also, by design, totally destruct themselves into ‘sub-atomic’ sized bits.

So, instead of making political ‘hay’ out of a military disaster of their own manufacture due incompetence, and breaking the Ninth Commandment by bearing false witness against their neighbour, the US naval and Seoul-based morons responsible for the sinking obviously need a reminder of what actually took place – and why the Cheonan sank - and stop pointing at Pyongyang as the fall guy.

On March 26th the sinking occurred precisely in the waters where what the Pentagon referred to as the world's largest simulated naval exercise – ‘Key Resolve / Foal Eagle’ was underway.

Among the fleet of hundreds of vessels were four Aegis ships: the USS Shiloh (CG-67), a 9,600-ton Ticonderoga class cruiser, the USS Curtis Wilbur (DDG-54), a 6,800-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer, the USS Lassen, a 9,200-ton Arleigh Burke class guided-missile destroyer and Sejong the Great, a 8,500-ton South Korean guided-missile destroyer - plus a full compliment of US Navy anti-submarine Squadron 7 choppers.

Yep, Aegis class warships – submarine hunters – and a clunky old NorKor diesel-powered fish without AIP propulsion technology sneaks past the lot into the very South Korean waters where the biggest naval exercise in the known Universe is being enacted and fires one of their TYPE 53-59 torpedoes at the Cheonan then escaped wholly undetected back across the 38th Parallel (marine section).

Hence if the South Koreans and the Americans maintain these ridiculous charges that the NorKor’s sank the Cheonan it only serves to demonstrate and highlight the fact that their mega-bucks submarine-hunter Aegis warships are a pile of shite.
It further demonstrates the futility of the US-South Korean joint war games and the neo-colonial US military presence in Korea.

But to let warmongering gossip and conspiracy theories run their course, BP are now claiming the NorKor’s are responsible for torpedoing their Deepwater Horizon drilling rig – the one currently turning the Gulf of Mexico into a massive tar pit – from Key West to Brownsville to Cancun – with Cuba acting as a stopper.

Further rumours that the actual torpedo fragments found were in reality identified as being from the DM2 A-4 type as used by the Israeli Navy’s Dolphin-class (German Type S-300) submarines and manufactured by the Israeli-owned Grassy Knoll Armament Industries – a well-known Mossad front organisation.

At the end of the day the Yanks – or the South Korean bodgers – need to hold their hands up and admit they dropped a big bollock and loosed a torpedo – possibly by accident or mistake - that impacted the hull of the Cheonan.

Regardless it’s an embarrassing indictment of the accuracy of the exorbitantly priced anti-submarine weapons systems of the US, the world's leading arms exporter. Further, the Americans credibility as South Korea’s superpower guardian goes down the drain while unintentionally advertising NorKor submarines and torpedoes as ‘undetectable’ and the type of hardware that can kick the shit out of anything the Yanks have. Hmmm, nice one Kim.

Further rumours referencing the capture of a Muslim North Korean agent provocateur and known Al Qaeda double agent asset, one Lee Harvey Ki Moon bin Patsy, has led to speculation that it was actually a Taliban ‘Kabul Class’ submarine, financed by Saudi Arabia that carried out the false flag attack and sank the Cheonan to thrust the blame on Pyongyang and divert attentions from the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan arenas of conflict.

To cap it all, Barky O’Barmy’s Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, while on yet another freebie junket – this time to Beijing - has said Washington and Beijing must work together to "fashion an effective response" to the sinking of the Cheonan – possibly to be interpreted as ‘declare war on Pyongyang’.

Speaking in Beijing, the Mena Crime Syndicate Matriarch told anyone interested in her Zionist twaddle that a nuclear armaments-equipped North Korea was a danger to peace throughout the Universe.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.