Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
A captured Jolly Jihadi militant working for terrorist leader Big Al Qaeda and detained in Iraq has given details about a plot to attack the World Cup tournament in South Africa next month.
The Saudi-born terrorist Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy, following a course of extraordinary rendition and an Abu Ghraib manicure, confessed that his people were planning an attack on the Dutch and Danish soccer teams in revenge for insulting cartoons drawn of the Prophet Muhammad.
In 2006 a Danish newspaper published 12 cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a comic character, including one that showed a bomb in his turban – while in the Netherlands certain politicians have expressed anti-Islamic sentiments and labelled the holy Koran as a fascist handbook for the subjugation of women and promoting terrorist activities against the Western infidel tribes of the Great Satan.
Documents detailing the FIFA World Cup terrorist plot and listing Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Patsy’s name, address and cellphone number were reportedly discovered in a recent joint Mossad operation in which top al-Qaeda operatives Abu Ayyub al-Masri and Abu Omar al-Baghdadi were killed yet again – for the fourth time in as many years.
In contrast, CIA chief of station in Baghdad, Colonel Billy Bob Shitflinger, told a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette that it wasn’t clear if al-Qaeda possessed the resources to carry out such a complicated attack in South Africa - that far away from their Mid-East home base of operations – quite obviously completely overlooking the much-publicised false flag fact that the self-same cave-dwelling al Qaeda terrorist scallies had purportedly hijacked four independent commercial passenger aircraft in the US on 9/11/2001 and successfully flown three of them into high profile targets – an even greater distance away from their Mid-East home base of operations than South Africa.
According to Abdullah al-Patsy’s confession, utilising an idea copied from a Roadrunner cartoon, his terror cell planned to build a series of crude dirty bombs inside FIFA World Cup issue footballs with a central charge of C4 packed around with ripe goatshit – to be detonated by a proximity fuse hidden in the goal mouth or triggered by a cellphone signal.
However, al Patsy is reported to have confided “As we are also keen soccer fans we will watch the match first then target and blow up the losing teams so our favourites - the Kabul First Eleven - get through to the final.”
Conversely Pretoria’s Bureau of State Security chief Julius Jaffacake told reporters “This is all a big scam by Iraqi police officials using this Abdullah Azam Saleh al-Pastsy character as at stooge to get free tickets issued to come to South Africa to watch the World Cup on the pretext of foiling some imaginary Muslim terrorist bomb plot.”
“They simply are not going to get away with it and must buy their tickets like everyone else.”
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Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
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