Sunday, 8 August 2010

Prince Charlie’s Messianic Madness

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If our once green and pleasant sceptred isle of Albion continues to experience the current run of damned bad luck that has been blighting the realm since the day the accursed Thatcher bitch assumed office in 1979, then we might end up with Charlie Windsor, the Prince of Wales, as our King and ruling monarch once his decrepit old Mum pops her clogs and ascends to join the Choir Invisible and takes her director's seat at the boardroom table governing the daily doing’s of the Holy Host.

Now such an occasion might be good for a bit of a laugh as Britain hasn’t had a total madman on the throne since George III – the bloke who fucked up ‘royally’ and lost us the Colonies. However, in all truth, Charlie assuming the mantle of Monarch portends to be a total fucking disaster.

This last week Charles Philip Arthur George Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Windsor, the Prince of Wales (yes Wales – with Chazzer a hybrid mutant claiming monarchial ascendancy without a single Celt gene in his reptilian DNA) obviously suffering another of his frequent Messianic delusions, told a reporter from the Loonies Gazette that he believes he was placed on Earth by God personally as future King ‘for a purpose’.

Giving a fascinating insight into his concept of inherited wealth and influence – his supremely arrogant view of the right to rule by Divine Ordination, old Big Ears related “One can only somehow imagine that one find one’s self being born into this position for a purpose – to save the world.”

‘I don’t want my grandchildren - or yours - to come along and say to me, “Good God grand-dad, why did you allow the world to get so fucked up? Why the hell didn’t you, as the one chosen to sit at the right hand of God, put your foot down with a firm hand and do something about all this pollution and environmental vandalism by BP and Freeport Mining et al when you knew what the problem was.”

Charlie’s impassioned comments come during a film about his belief that unbridled greed, rampaging materialism and illegal wars by the military-industrial complex’s worship of Mammon are leading to the imminent destruction of the entire global environment.

The documentary, titled ‘What a Fuck Up’, is due to be aired on the Prince’s personal Duchy Originals TV channel in November to coincide with the launch of a book of the same name, authored by HRH, Prince Big Ears (ghost-written by a BBC journalist chap with a reasonable grasp of the English language) and published by the Tavistock Institute-owned Fruitcake Press.

Charles is understood to have waived the author’s fee, and all royalties will go to his charity, the Gorgonzilla Parker-Bowles Emphysema Trust.

However the Prince has previously come under fire from several radical Greenie quarters for his gross hypocrisy concerning eco-values.
Last year he commandeered a jet belonging to his Mum’s ‘Queen’s Flight’ to attend the Copenhagen global warming scam summit, generating an estimated 6.4 tons of carbon dioxide - 5.2 tons more than if he had used a commercial plane and 6.3 tons more than if he’d gone on his push bike or legged it – thus making a total fuck of his personal carbon footprint and putting a right royal capital 'H' in Hypocrisy.

Similarly Chazzer, along with chain-smoking wife Gorgonzilla, flew out to Brunei last summer to meet up with the midget pisspot ruler Sultan Hassan al Bolkiah – a trip for which he hired a private jet – at the taxpayer’s expense - leading to accusations of 'green hypocrisy' as the visit was designed to highlight environmental issues.

Bazzer McScally, of the anti-monarchy anarchist group ‘Tumbrels’, opined to an interviewer on Channel 69’s ‘Dog Wankers’ programme “Prince Charles is under the impression he has been sent by divine providence to save the world and deliver us from our sins. It’s really quite delusional and people get locked up in lunatic asylums for less under the Mental Health Act.”

Conversely senior royal aides including chief equerry Sir Monty Peach, denied Charlie was attempting to mould his public image and pave the way to ensure a positive legacy façade – stressing that Prince Big Ears also cared passionately about his other official duties, such as shouting “Off with his head!”, shooting the royal deer, and to meddle, obfuscate and derail the building plans to convert the Chelasea Barracks into a complex of high-priced Qatari Diar owned apartments (cum bordello) by pissing directly into the Emir of Qatar’s ear.

McScally declared this was yet another typical example of what had become the norm from pseudo intellectual inbred royal parasites and their lack of a grasp on reality – with Charlie the Ubermensch again demonstrating his utter buffoonery and idiocy when he claims to be the Utopianist’s Messiah and put on the planet to save us all from - ourselves.

“This bloke reckons he’s Prince by Divine Right and as King will be our Fidei Defensor (Defender of the Faith) and head of the Church of England yet the eccentric bat-eared git’s a private Jew, and got his cock specially circumcised by Rabbi Jacob Snippit, the official Mohel for the London Kikester community and spends half his effin’ time going around opening synagogues. Now, how’s that for a kick starter to a constitutional crisis?”

“Yet in all truth Charlie and his associate cabal of mutant inbreds, these self-proclaiming blue blood Brahmins belonging to the world’s parasitic Second Estate, would scheme, conspire and intirgue to eradicate those they consider – in their unqualified arrogance – to be of an inferior bloodline."
"Specifically anyone this self-proclaimed nobility and elitist Illuminati cabal consider unworthy of space on Earth and an equal cut of Nature’s bounty – and that’s us – the common herd – what these gits regard as sheeple. Let’s just hope, for his sake, he doesn’t end up like that last Messiah bloke Jesus – nailed on two whopping great lumps of wood.”

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel shit.

Thought for the day: Fuck the royal family

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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