In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Father Fagarotti, Dean of Rome’s prestigious St Sodom’s College for Latter Day Catamites, today admitted to the Fudgers Gazette that the latest sex expose concerning the Catholic Church’s butt-fucking gay priests had succeeded in knocking the ‘ordained kiddie fiddlers’ scandal right off top place in the gutter press media.
Utilising hidden cameras, a journalist from Il Ass Banditeros - owned by Italian Prime Minister and super-scumbag media baron Silvio Berlusconi - filmed legions of dodgy priests as they attended gay nightspots and had casual sex with navy matelots, transgender nuns and a variety of cuddly farm animals at a Parco de Pederasti petting zoo.
Today there was no immediate comment from the gob-smacked Italian Bishops Conference and the Vatican - which has been rocked by a series of kiddie fiddling sex scandals involving paedophile priests since January 2010.
A preview of the Il Ass Banditeros article sent out by e-mail last night added that video footage from the investigation would be made available unless several sacks of large denomination Euro notes were donated to the news tabloid’s journalist retirement fund bank account in Zurich.
The article describes how the journalist, Cuntore Fuctifino was assisted by a transvestite 'accomplice' as they gate-crashed the wild nights of a horde of priests in Rome who live a surprising double-life – brimstone and fire condemnations from the pulpit and confessional by day - then a nightly convention of irrumatio and sodomy around the red light areas of the Eternal City under the dubious cover of darkness.
In it's expose preview Il Ass Banditeros declared “By day they are regular priests, complete with dog collar, but, at night it's off with the cassock and on with the suspender belts, fishnet stockings and bras as they assume roles of corrupt iniquity and become integrated members of the Italian capital's raving faggot scene.”
While the Catholic Church purportedly forbids priests to have sex with their choirboys and homosexuality is also viewed as a sin, Il Ass Banditeros described its investigation as 'deeply disturbing' as it detailed how six priests – one Irish, one Scots, one English, two Italians and a Frenchman - happily took part in gay events and had casual sex with each other and several sheep – joking on camera that “Oooo – eye of the needle syndrome - look at how tight this mutton’s arse is – just like an altar boy’s”
In 2008 the Vatican hierarchy’s hypocrites issued guidelines which stated that would-be clerics should not be recruited nor ordained if they had raving faggot homosexual tendencies – wholly ignoring the fact that was the sole reason they actually became priests – to feast at the epicurean tables of carnal perversion and dine regularly (and with impunity for centuries past) on banquets of pederasty and homosexual hors d’oeuvres and entrees - and desserts – to the point of Lucculan gluttony.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.
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