Sunday, 4 July 2010

Bliar to get Peace Medal - Que?

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In an attempt to convince the world they’re totally ignorant of the true definitions of ‘irony’ and ‘hypocrisy’ the US Government under Pres’ Barky O’Barmy (current Kenyan cuckoo incumbent of the White House) is set to award international war criminal Tony Bliar with a peace medal for his leadership participation in the destruction of Afghanistan and Iraq – and the wholesale slaughter of their respective non-combatant civilian populations.

Former UK Prime Minister Tony Bliar is to receive the prestigious US medal and $100,000 prize for his stellar work in ‘Conflict Aggravation Coverups’.
The National Constitution Centre is to award the posturing, self-promoting prat with its Liberty Medal for "steadfast" efforts to broker peace in the Middle East – following his superb performance in spicing up dodgy dossiers concerning weapons of mass distraction to justify the illegal invasion of Iraq in the first place – plus ensuring Dr David Kelly got ‘Grassy-Knolled’ and kept his big gob shut concerning the true whereabouts of illicit nuclear weapons supplied by Israel to South Africa – then smuggled into the Middle East region to intimate their possession was in Saddam Hussein’s hands.

To focus the spotlight on the inherent hypocrisy involved with this award, previous winners include former US presidents ‘Dodger Bill’ Clinton and infamous kiddie fiddler George Bush senior – both responsible for involving the US in conjured foreign conflicts to suit the requirements of their kikester banker bosses.

Mr Bliar told a reporter from the Socratic Irony Review he had been driven by values of "freedom, liberty and justice" – coupled with ’a personal sense of insatiable avarice’ – and an abundance of nagging from his grasping wife Cherie.

The award will be bestowed by the National Constitution Centre’s chairman, Bronco Billy Clinton, who sent his own countrymen to die in foreign conflicts while President but whose own criminal Vietnam era military draft avoidance and wilful neglect of patriotic spirit earned him the disparaging moniker of the ‘Artful Dodger’

So, let’s just focus our attentions on the whereabouts of this stellar Mid-East peace envoy during the Israeli’s 22 days of barbaric slaughter (read ethnic cleansing) of Palestinian non-combatant civilians and children during their 2008-2009 festive season ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ military attacks on the besieged enclave of Gaza.
Why – just up the road – in Cyprus for a Christmas vacation alongside his slack-jawed slapper of a wife Cherie – she with the mouth like a burst G800 radial tyre –and never once concerned himself with the IDF’s genocidal hostilities.

Blair, who currently works as a peace envoy to the Middle East – dedicated to concealing and whitewashing the barbaric excesses of the rogue state of Israel’s psychopathic military thugs - recently underwent a failed surgical procedure to reverse his 2001 moral conscience bypass and the removal of his sense of humour.

Known to close friends and family alike as ‘a right smarmy twat’ who couldn’t tell the truth even if he didn’t have a lie ready, Bliar often strikes acquaintances as the type of man whose shifty reptilian eyes prompt you to count your fingers after shaking hands with him – a fact confirmed by his old school buddy Charlie Falconer and Spin-a-Win PR guru Alastair Scambell.

Mr Bliar's office issued a press release stating he would be donating the prize money to two of his favourite charities - the Tony Bliar Benevolent Fund - and the Cherie Bliar Orthodontic Initiative – the latter being founded to correct his wife’s brain-dead rictus smile and the fucked-up dentistry that has equipped her to eat a pomegranate through a tennis racket.

Bliar’s Liberty Medal will be awarded on the September 13th 2010 in Philadelphia, so if you’re free on that date, trot along and daub the walls with offensive grafitti, shout a few insulting slogans, throw a couple of rotten eggs at the rotten politicians and generally piss on Tony’s self-congratulatory bonfire.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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