Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Was Scandalson ‘The Turd Man’?

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Lord Peter Scandalson’s new back-stabbing memoir recounting Gordon Broon’s final hours in the Downing Street Fuhrerbunker - ‘The Third Man’ – bears a title shamelessly plagiarised from the celebrated Graham Greene novella, and 1949 film noir movie of the same name.
Although the pirated title might well be justified if comparison is made to Lord ‘Vermin in Ermine’ assuming the fitting role of the principal slippery character Harry Slime.
Subcontrary, a further parallel could be Slime’s (read Broon) mortal demise in the Vienna sewers – getting the coup de grace to the back of his thick Caledonian bonce from King Rat wielding that perpetually-annoying zither.

“Yer have ter make a decision an’ I’ve made mine. It is final an’ I’m goin’ down the pub. Goodbye yer bigoted git.”
The gospel according to Peter Scandalson’s new political memoir, those were the words uttered on the telephone by a totally pissed off Gordon Broon, which brought down the final curtain on thirteen years of Labour Party mismanagement in May.

The hapless Broon was speaking to Mick Clogg, leader of the Librarian Dummercrats, who came in at a total loser’s third place in what was essentially a three horse race in May’s general election; yet regardless of finishing last, still held the decisive bloc of seats needed by the Tories - or Labour - to form a coalition government.
Though after five days of hand-wringing and negotiating dirty deals with both the above parties Lib-Dum leader Clogg threw in his lot with the Conservatives in exchange for a guarantee of power, fame and riches in the temporal world – and salvation in the afterlife be damned.

Lord Scandalson’s memoir, “The Third Man: Life as a Fat Maggot in the Decaying Corpse of New Labour,” seems calculated to embellish his reputation as the ultimate Machiavelli - abusing trust, unrivalled access and influence, while displaying his customary lack of moral scruples, in an attempt to shape the course of British politics to suit the ends of his Zionist mentors in the Rothshite crime family consortium.

If Scandalson is to be believed - which can require supreme effort considering his past (and present) history of involvement with treachery, lies and corrupt practices – he was the power behind the throne, advising the jinxed Broon as he burned the midnight oils and toiled and slogged relentlessly to stay in office at all costs after the election vote count put Labour a good 100 seats behind the Tories.

However, the primary factor that comes across in the opening pages of Spin Doctor Pete’s concocted memoir is that its fundamental purpose is to ensure the star-crossed Gordon gets pasted with the blame for all the disasters and mistakes of thirteen years of Bliarite government – and thus too embellish the chances of either Dave Millipede or Andy Pandy Burnham attaining the Labour Party leadership – by the fact that with castigating Broon with all that was wrong with New Labour such infamy will also besmear the efforts of diehard Broon loyalists Ed Ballsup and Eddie Milipede in their bids for party leadership.

One pause for thought, while Lord Scandalson was at the head of the pit bull pack of Labour attack dogs when it came to criticising News International and owner Rupert Mudrock over the dodgy deal in which the gutter press red top tobloid The Sun gave its sycophantic support to the Conservative Party from September 2009 onwards, typical of his customary duplicity and hypocrisy, The Third Man is appearing in serialised installments in The Times of London, and will be published by HarperPress - all owned by the hated and reviled zillionaire Antipodean vulgarian - Mudrock.

But there’s the reptilian Scandalson for you – Lord Vermin in Ermine – covetous to a tee and bent on mischief.
Further, his little memoir is conspicuous by the absence of the fact it bears no mention of his personal hatred of Broon or that Gordon had raised M’lud’s ire to boiling point when he refused pressures to hold a ‘musical chairs’ cabinet reshuffle and dump David Millipede as head of the FO last year.
Hence the paranoid Scandalson beast was out for Gordon’s blood after he purposely – and with malice aforethought - denied him the clamoured-after position of Foreign Secretary so he could stand in the footsteps of, and be equal to, his grandfather – the post-war inept Labour party bungler and career opportunist Herbert Morrison.

Hmmm, some memoir this is turning out to be with no mention of his first gay ‘sexperiences’ and ‘who takes what up where’ in his relationship with Brazilian toyboy Reinaldo. Nary a word concerning dodgy personal mortgage loans either, nor Hinduja passport wrongdoings; or iniquitous fudging parties on Corfu with Nutty Natty Rothshite and Russian zillionaire Oleg Mobsaroubles and raving Yankee faggot David Geffen.

Selective memory is the psychological term for Poofter Pete’s condition – one further hampered by certain chronic cognitive handicaps - such as distinguishing the actual moral difference between the truth and a pack of lies.

As Whitehall’s civil service chief Sir Ghengis McTwat opined to the Daily Shitraker regarding the memoir and its author “While Broon was an up-front kind of chap and normally called it as he saw it – labelling us all a bunch of ‘bigots’ - Scandy will not be remembered with any modicum of affection, and be duly entered into the annals of Britain’s political history as a ‘cunt in cunt’s clothing’.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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