Scots opt for Political Correctness Lunacy

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

‘Conduct Likely to Cause Outrage to Public Decency’ might well sound like some Sharia Law conjured up by the Saudi Mutaween religious police, but not so – it’s one of our soon to be legal Highland specials.

In October 2010 Scotland’s all-new ‘Sexual Offences Act’ takes effect and will hopefully be enforced across the entire Grampian area – especially so the kiddie fiddling crime capital of Aberdeen - to clamp down on the paedo’ Freemasons and local worthy elite kiddie fiddling scum who maintain the St Sodoms ‘Special’ School for Latter Day Pederasts at Ferryhill.

However, unlike the 2003 Sexual Offences Act that was written for England and Wales, the Scottish act contains a clause outlawing “Indecent Communication”.

Hence it will soon be an offence to whisper into the ear of some half-pissed yobette slut hanging on the pub bar “Do yer fancy a three-hole shagging session down Doggers Wood then – or a quickie knee-trembler out the back in the car park?”
If the slut in question decides this unsolicited ‘offer’ tempts her to lascivious carnal behaviour, then all well and good – you’re in – literally. Conversely, if she takes umbrage at the offer of having your cock shoved inside her, then she can summon the Plod Squad and ‘See you Jimmy - you’re nicked, my lad’.

Plain and simple, all they’re doing is to take the standard terminology for physical rape and applying it to what one person communicates to another – in either speech or wrting – and to be doubly clear on this it will apply to sign language, Morse code, cellphone texts, e-mails and semaphore.

Ah well, that’s the Scots for you. The blokes wander about in tartan frocks yet conjure up laws that would criminalise any and or all double entendres or innuendo considered sexual in nature or context.

Really. It was only two years ago their previous Sexual Offences Act was used to convict one hapless drunken twat for having sex with his bicycle in the privacy of his own hotel room – a case that ended up in court and his name on the sexual offenders register.
Now, while the poor frustrated bugger’s allowed to work in schools and have contact with children, he’s barred from going into Halfords or within 50 meters of a mountain bike for the next three years.

So this basically translates as the criminalisation of gregarious behaviour- or a lack of social intelligence - simply to prevent people hearing the wrong thing – which constitutes the wholly unjustified overuse of criminal law.

The gospel according to Mr Bumble the Beadle (Dickens really) stated in extract “If that sir is the law, then the law is an ass!”

Well, every grown man and woman is capable of articulating a two word sentence, such as “rearrange the following words into a well-known phrase or saying - ‘Off Fuck’

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.