Saturday, 24 July 2010

Buck’ Palace Nixes Griffin from Garden Party

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

British National Party leader Nick Griffin will be denied entry to a Buckingham Palace garden party over claims he has used his invitation for political purposes and not to simply grab a pocketful of vol au vonts and cucumber and salmon paste butties.

Mr Griffin described the invitation on the BNP website as a "highly symbolic breakthrough" for the ‘Raving Racist’ party to be recognised, and appeared on GMTV’s ‘Blabberwocky’ programme to boast about it.

The Palace security chief Igor Molehusband told one reporter from the Ostentatious Waste Gazette that Griffin’s antics had increased the security threat and caused potential discomfort to the many other invited guests - especially so the foreign darkie types.
“The Grenadier Guards haff been furnished wiv copies of his photo and instructed to bayonet him or shoot on sight if he tries to enter the event by climbing over a wall or comes disguised as one of Princess Anne’s rabid Pit Bull terriers.”

All UK members of the European Parliament were invited to the event and the BNP’s MEP, Jack Snott, together with Griffin's wife Gobzilla, will still be allowed to attend so long as Mrs Griffin does not arrived garbed in her customary SS Death’s Head Stormtrooper uniform and brandishing a knuckle duster and riding crop.

The official Buckingham Palace ‘Secretary for Garden Parties’ Sir Mortimer Thort-Knott, informed the media "The decision to deny this individual entry is not intended to show any disrespect to the democratic process by which the invitation was issued but simply to keep out lard-arsed Paki’ bashers such as Griffin and his racist ilk.”
“Really, we have that Kenyan chappie O’Barmy attending too, the one who’s now the US President. It wouldn’t do to have Griffin and his BNP mates cornering him and making distasteful comments about his sun tan or the renaming of the ‘White House’ now would it.”

Conversely Griffin told the Daily Shitraker that the invitation has been withdrawn due him giving TV interviews about his attendance "Yeah right, it’s an effin’ scandal cos I represent a million voters in the North West of effin’ England an’ these dodgy royal gits don’t want ter hear me callin’ a spade a spade – even if it is a shovel.”

“So some twat complains an’ reckons I’m a racist an’ me - an elected official – gets his arse banned from the biggest state function nosh up of the year – then our democracy’s about fucked.”

“Yeah, yer got 8,000 bods invited, an’ half of ‘em are darkies an’ swan-roastin’ pikey types wot can’t even speak the Queen’s effin’ English an’ there she’ll be prancin’ around an’ shakin’ hands wiv the twats and what have yer.”

On first receiving his invitation Griffin had posted on the BNP website a comment describing the garden party invitation as a "breakthrough" for them and asked supporters to suggest what he should say to the Queen when they met.
This prompted a swathe of scurrilous replies from BNP supporters – none of which were considered anywhere close to being politically correct – and it was then decided that the Griffin beast wasn’t to be trusted at large in polite company.

Griffin closed his condemnation of having his invitation rescinded with the remark “When yer’ve already got twats like Virus Man Prince Philip there what’s the harm in havin’ a couple of other racist scumbags as well? I just hope it pisses down all effin’ day.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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