Sunday, 11 July 2010

US Plans Auschwitz Theme Park

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The US Secretary of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton was in Poland earlier this week to cement ties with the newly-elected President Komorowski and advise him against flying to Smolensk to accept any Katyn Massacre Memorial plaques after the previous KaczyƄski government got Grassy Knolled in toto by Russian forces last April when their Tupolev Tu154 aircraft crashed into a forest while locked on to a decoy landing beacon – with the entire passenger contingent and crew killed in the crash or ‘euthenised’ and ‘found dead in the woods’ by the Federal'naya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti (FSB).

The Rodent told one reporter from the Holohoax Gazette that the United States of Israel will donate $15 million bucks to the Auschwitz-Birkenau Foundation, pending the signing of an agreement with the Polish government to allow the establishment of US missile bases along their Russian border.
"This agreement marks an important step in our countries' efforts to protect our NATO allies from the threat posed by the proliferation of ballistic missiles and weapons of mass distraction."

Conversely, while the missile defense agreement is purported to be part of the O’Barmy administration's new plan to protect against attacks on the United States and its allies – it is condemned by Russia and Iran as posing a strategic first strike option against them.

Regardless, the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty signed on April Fool’s Day by President O’Barmy and Russian President Dmitry Medivac will reduce the total number of nuclear weapons held by the United States and Russia by about a third. Specifically, it fixes a ceiling for each country of 1,550 nuclear warheads and 700 deployed nuclear delivery vehicles – just enough to still guarantee an apocalyptic end-product of ‘MAD’ – Mutually-Assured Destruction.

Speaking at the Schindler Gas Oven Museum in Krakow, the Rodent told the gutter press that the US taxpayer’s involuntary contribution will go to preserve the site of the concentration camp and further demonstrate AIPAC’s commitment to the perpetuation of the Holohoax myth and the denigration of Germans as a bunch of fascist barbarians.

“Not only will we have the showers completely retiled and the air conditioning ducts cleaned out of any old Zyklon B gas and Legionairre’s Disease germs but we’re gonna convert the old crematorium furnaces into memorial garden barbeques. Plus, to top it all off, Prime Minister Nuttyahoo of Israel is gonna donate a new theft-proof Jobcentre Plus wrought iron sign to go over the front gates – but still bearing the old style ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ logo.”

The gospel according to the myth perpetuated by various pro-kikester organisations – including Hollywood - claims that over a million people – all shifty hylock types - perished at the Auschwitz-Berkenau concentration camp under the Nazi jackboot – with nobody being released on parole for good behaviour.

If approved by Congress the funding will be provided over five years starting in 2012. to preserve the fairytale site for future generations to visit and hopefully declare of their own volition – “Hey, weren’t the Germans a real bunch of cunts when Hitler was in charge of things there. God bless America!”

Hamas leader Khaled Meshal, speaking to a reporter from the Warmongers Gazette earlier today, opined that a similar scheme might be in order for the beleaguered Gaza Strip to demonstrate the inhuman barbarity bestowed upon the Palestinian population by the rogue Israeli government.
“Hey, the Nazis only used barbed wire to keep the Yids in their camp – here the kikesters have beseiged us behind a thirty foot high Great Wall of Apartheid so they can come on their ethnic cleansing missions and shoot our teenagers and steal their body organs for their illegal transplant trade.”

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of rabid Rabbi’s were temporarily pissed off.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the Protocols of Zion.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.

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