Airport Scanners Causing Cancer

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Widespread public opposition to the new full-body imaging X-ray machines used in the security screening of airline passengers - and the government's ubiquitous deployment of them at major airports - is growing at a geometric rate and expected to reach critical mass chain reaction proportions before the summer vacation season is out.

The invasive X-ray machines constitute a virtual strip search and were installed at airports around the world following the Mossad false flag terrorist bomb scam on Christmas Day over Michigan – in which a brainwashed Nigerian Muslim, Mohammed al Patsy, who worked at Detroit’s Grassy Knoll Book Depository, had been brainwashed and programmed to set fire to his jockey shorts and detonate a clutch of explosive skidmarks.

The US Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has blown more than $80 zillion bucks of tax-payers money on the purchase of 500 units, with 133 now deployed at airports around the country – and plans to install a total of 1,000 of the Insta-Tumour machines by the end of next year.

Conversely fliers complain they're time-consuming and constitute a definite invasion of individual privacy as they not only reveal concealed weapons but also personal ‘body jewellery’ – such as nipple barbells, clitty hood door knockers, labial rings and penile Prince Albert piercings – and will even reveal which horny bitches - or raving faggots – have a pair of Ben-Wah vibrating love balls stuffed up their snatch – or a sphincter-stretching butt plug in their jacksy.

Further, the world's airlines claim the ‘Death Ray’ machines shouldn't be used for primary security screening at all – and most definitely not on babies, children, pregnant women, the disabled – or anyone with a pacemaker, or undergoing chemotherapy, or suffering from epilepsy - or any of the myriad forms of cancer that now blight humanity’s health since the advent of things nuclear and the introduction of genetically-modified foods and GM-fed meats and dairy produce.

Hence such has prompted awkward questions to be raised concerning the detrimental effects of the emitted radiation from the machines on passengers' health.
One instance of concern in this area involved security officials in Dubai who, in light of evidence posted on the internet, have stated they wouldn't use the machines as they not only violate "personal privacy," but information about their "negative side effects" on health has been purposely suppressed to the level of outright conspiracy.

Chlamydia Muffitch, a columnist with the Ambulance Chasers Gazette, spoke to Seymour Weaselstein, director of the Big Bad Apple-based Personal Injury Claims Institute, who elaborated on both airline and passenger concerns. "The machines are running into complaints and questions here and overseas. The system takes five times longer to perform a full body scan compared to walking through a regular doorway-type metal detector.”

“Seriously, this is yet another disaster just waiting to happen. While the stooges at Homeland Insecurity and the Transportation Security Administration simply don’t give a flying fuck about people’s health, just you wait until all the tumours start popping up and folks catch on what’s caused them – either the body scanners or some GM food shit of Monsanto’s that they’ve eaten."

Reports originating from whistleblowers working undercover for Ox-Rat, the international snitch and grassers charity, reveal that security staff at Manchester International Airport in the UK have been using the ‘Death Ray’ scanners like a microwave by placing their meat pies and Pol Pot Insta-Noodle lunches on a table between the scanner beams for three minutes – a fact airport authorities disingenuously refute.

The latest and greatest in Death Ray full-body imaging machines are manufactured by the Israeli-owned 'Euro-Kikes SA' of Geneva so if your data flash drive data storage device or new Crapple ‘No Signal’ iPhone 4 goes tits up after an airport scan – or you start to grow nasty cancerous tumours in uncomfortable places – you now know who to instruct your legal dogsbody to sue the shit out of.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.