Libservatives Plan Tribal ‘Big Society’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron is getting ready to launch his "Big Society" drive and – in a true Alice Down the Rabbit Hole fantasy fashion, transmigrate the UK’s unwashed voting public to Autonomy Wonderland.

During a speech in Scouseville, Dave promised to train more community organisers (probably recruited from the 60,000 plods they intend to lay off), allow numpty charities to consult numptier civil servants - and use dormant seized drug money and jailed arms dealer’s bank accounts to fund projects – with a stated aim being to transfer power from the government to individuals by allowing communities and voluntary groups to help run public services – and when it all goes badly wrong and wholly tits up then the Libservative government can turn around and blame the stupid peasant classes for being such a bunch of thickies.

While the idea was a central theme in the Conservative general election campaign, in his speech the prime minister stated that community projects in four parts of the UK are to be given help as part of a bid to "turn government on its head".

Hmmm, New Labour have just spent the last 13 years doing precisely that – and succeeded to such a degree that now 95% of the shit-for-brains public – or the civil service - don’t know which way is ‘up’ anymore.

Regardless, Posh Dave and Lib-Dum partner-in-crime Mick Clogg claim each of the project areas will be given an expert organiser and dedicated civil servants to ensure "people power" initiatives get off the ground and inspire a wider change involving the empowerment of every fucker and their dog – even the unemployed and unemployable.

Nice one Dave – I thought that’s what we had the local council’s over-paid ‘Renta-Jobsworth’ for – or are they going to go the same way as the 60,000 redundant Plod Squad wallies? Please hand your uniform, boots, truncheon, cuffs, taser and pepper spray in at the door then proceed directly to the Jobcentre – and collect your fortnightly £60.50p giro as you pass ‘Go’.

Bless Posh Dave for his naivety, but at the scheme’s heart is the idea of government helping people, groups and communities take more control over their own lives – so we don’t have to vote for patronising imbeciles with public school educations to sit in Parliament and draw inflated salaries and dodgy expenses – and consequently – pensions to boot.

Providing an assessment of the plans the Daily Shitraker’s political editor Morton McTwatt explained "At it's heart is the idea of government helping people, groups and communities take more control over their own lives, doing themselves what the state does badly – like approving of every war crime Israel commits, and spicing up dodgy intelligence dossiers on weapons of mass distraction - then getting involved in the illegal invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq – plus the false flag 7/7 terrorist attacks on the London Underground tube train service – and the assisted suicide of Dr David Kelly.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.