US Military Hit by Media-Block

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

With reference to what is fast becoming history, in a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine published under the title "The Runaway General," Stan the Man McChrystal broke the 11th Commandment and told the TRUTH - describing his pro-Zionist civilian bosses as "clueless", called their European allies ‘a bunch of limp-wristed dog wankers’ – and lambasted Hamid Kami-Karzai’s 'Kleptocracy Party' Afghan government as the most corrupt institution it had ever been his displeasure to come into contact with - after the Dubya Bush administration.

McChrystal rounded his felo-de-se off with the statement “I came here to fight Big Al Qaeda and Taliban Dan an’ their guys – not guard Socal’s fucking pipeline and the CIA’s opium poppy crops.”

Following the publication of this in Rolling Stone, Barky O’Barmy, the Kenyan puppet bloke sat in the Oval Office, at first shit kittens, then received orders to fire McChrystal.
Further, US Defence Secretary Robert Gates has now mandated that all Pentagon officials, regardless of seniority, acquire clearance before they talk to the media – even the guy stood on the corner selling the Washington Post - or the National Enquirer.

"We guys actually running the White House are getting very concerned that the Pentagon staff – the entire globally-deployed US military in fact - has grown far too lax and trusting in how they engage with the media," Gates informed a reporter from the Rumour Monger’s Gazette.

"We have far too many people talking to the media outside of channels, sometimes providing information which is actually true – before our propaganda boys have had chance to apply even a thin veneer of spin or double entendre deceit.”

"While the leaking of classified information is against the law and will lead to the prosecution of those found to be engaged in such activity – especially anyone admitting we’re getting our collective arses kicked by the Taliban - likewise this administration simply cannot tolerate military staff talking to the media and just blurting out the truth.”
“This also applies to repeating confidential information such as confirming the fact that the White House and Pentagon actually get their orders from Baron Rothshite’s crime family consortium in London – or directly from Tel Aviv and the Knesset – via AIPAC or Rahm Emanuel.”

“So help me – if we have any more instances of four-star generals and their staff getting pissed rotten drunk in the officers mess and ending up having their conversations and opinions recorded by the likes of Rolling Stone magazine – then someone’s not just gonna have their sad ass fired but probably get ‘Grassy Knolled’ for their indiscretions and end up being found dead in the woods.”

“Christ all fucking mighty, I don’t care if McChrystal and his boys all think Joe Bidet’s a dog wanker – we think the same here – but we don’t tell the media that sort of shit.”

“Next thing you know there’s rumours of a mutiny and a military coup in the air – with the top brass questioning why their Commander-in-Chief can’t produce his US birth certificate and prove he’s not a Kenyan – or an Indonesian Muslim called Barry Soetoro. Really, just because the word Mombasa’s crossed out and the word Hawaii’s scribbled in pencil doesn’t mean jack shit and is only some wild conspiracy theory – but that’s precisely the kind of dissent we definitely don’t want the media getting wind of.”

“For fucks sake, what next? Someone on the inside and in the know, conjuring up a conscience and telling everyone there was no aeroplane that hit the Pentagon – and that it was our own kikester military brass and the Israelis who blasted the WTC Twin Towers to dust on 9/11 just to get the SoCal pipeline laid and provide an excuse to seize control of the Afghan opium poppy plantations.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.