Singapore - A Clean & Green Dictatorship

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While Singapore might boast being Clean & Green (and Sterile) – and in actual reality as much fun as a course of chemotherapy - officialdom in the Kafkaesque island republic definitely does not tolerate criticism in any shape or form – a fascist fact dating back to 1959 when Lee Kwan Spew, the 126-year old Monkey King look-alike, first became Prime Minister.

So, what are Singapore’s governing Mafiosa catching international flack for this time? Why, none other than the arbitrary arrest of British author, Alan Shadrake, as part of a criminal defamation investigation.
Police slapped the cuffs on the 75-year old Mr Shadrake when he arrived in Singapore to promote his new book – the content of which has apparently upset officialdom’s fragile sensibilities – as each chapter serves up copious helpings of distasteful Truth – hence Prime Minister Baby God Lee and his ruling Very Strict Paranoid Psychotics Party (VSPPP) have rightly decided the book’s release in Singapore is not in the public interest.

Police spokesman Inspector Flip Flop Fong told a reporter from the Big Brother Gazette that “Shadrake is being investigated for alleged offences of criminal defamation and any other crimes the attorney-general and public prosecutor can think up – such as an order of committal for contempt of court.”

Shadrake’s book ‘Once a Jolly Hangman: Singapore Justice on the Dock’, includes an interview with Sum Dum Fuk, a former tomcat strangler who became the career chief executioner at Singapore's Changi Prison. Besides a regular schedule of hangings, Dum Fuk’s job description included dishing out daily caning sessions with the rotan on hapless prisoners for such heinous crimes as jaywalking, littering, smoking in public, possession of chewing gum, daubing graffiti, having long hair, independent seditious thinking and asking awkward questions at college.

Former police officers, human rights activists, opposition politicians and lawyers were also interviewed for the book – with many of them transgressing the unwritten rule of telling the truth about how habeas corpus is a joke in the dystopian island republic.

Conversely the Very Strict Paranoid Psychotics Party’s spokeswoman Ms Yu Wan Wank informed the BBC’s SE Asian correspondent, Mr Tic Tac Toe, that the book had not been banned but that the government had advised book stores not to stock it – or else the store managers might find their children going missing and getting sold to foreign kiddie fiddlers - and their shops torched by Ang Soon Tong triad enforcers.

In a separate incident, Singapore has recently banned a movie made by local film-maker Kun Kare Less about a human rights activist, once again claiming the film was not in the public interest as it shows the government up to be a bunch of paranoid twats that are intellectually ill-equipped to tolerate and respond to criticism.
The film centres on former political detainee Hu Dun Wot and features him making a rare public speech about why he was unfairly jailed by Lee Kwan Spew. Mr Dun Wot was detained from 1963 for two decades as part of an operation that the government maintains was to end political opposition in Singapore.

The human rights and wrongs organisation Amnesty International claims Singapore has a history of using laws which allow for civil defamation actions to stifle any and all political opposition – while the VSPPP-run government has consistently maintained that its draconic laws are necessary to protect and guarantee Singapore's ruling oligarchs from the penniless ‘have nots’ scum of this world.

In 2007 the Singapore government was accused of acting like a Soviet or Nazi "authoritarian state" after refusing to allow European Parliament members to speak during a forum on ‘Democracy’. Hmmm, one wonders if the irony escapes them.
The seven MEPs, as well as a Cambodian government representative from the Pol Pot Insta-Noodles Party and a Republic of the Philippines congresswoman, Imee Fat Cat, were denied permission to speak at the conference to which they had been invited.

"Singapore's politics are reserved for Singaporeans. As visitors to our country, foreigners should not abuse their privilege by interfering in our domestic politics or passing opinions," Singapore's Ministry of Home Affairs pronounced in a statement to the island’s compromised toady press.

One MEP likened the Singapore government to repressive regimes such as North Korea, Myanmar and the People's Republic of China - whereas the Singapore government stated for the record that foreigners did not have permission to address the event. The MEPs had been invited to speak by the Singapore Dumbocratic Party (SDP) led by Ms Sue Doku, opponents of the Very Strict Paranoid Psychotics Party which has ruled the island state since 1959.

Such is the will of the ruling elite who run Singapore on a Meritocracy basis – alike Orwell’s Animal Farm – where all animals are equal but some pigs are better than others – especially the Chinese variety who are ranking members of the Ang Soon Tong triad.

It is also known for the ultra-fascist views of penultimate leader Lee Kwan Spew and its strict social controls over the diverse population - dominated by 77% ethnic Chinese with the remainder comprising of 15% Malay, 7% Indian - and 1% foreign authors imprisoned in Changi Jail.

Several members of Lee Kwan Spew’s triad-mongering family hold prominent positions in Singaporean government and high society, with Lee declaring himself Minister Mentor when son Baby God Lee became Prime Minister - to perpetuate his family’s autocratic control over the Singaporean cash-generating machine that runs on black money. Oh yes, the oldest trick in the political handbook – never relinquish power – not even for a single term.

Well, that’s Singapore for you. Their ultra-fragile sensibilities get easily upset, especially so when foreign (or domestic) critics start telling the truth and the Very Strict Paranoid Psychotics Party decide in their infinite wisdom that it’s not in the public interest to be informed they have a dodgy government staffed by triad criminals who thrive on the graft and corruption their official positions provide.

Where else would you find a Prime Minister who gives up smoking then imposes his will on the entire island republic – no smoking within 100 meters of Harry Lee.
A man who abuses his office to promote his shit-for-brains 32-year old son Lee Hsien Loony to Brigadier General – and then Prime Minister a few years later.

The Singapore justice system stands as a joke, and only a single step above Sharia Law in a backward Dark Ages shithole like Saudi Arabia when it comes to draconic regulations.
But read the body language on the streets – especially so with the youth – and sense the festering subversive resentment contained beneath the gossamer veneer of community contentment – ripe for revolution whenever the opportunity presents itself to get the tumbrels rolling.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist lobby.