Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Yet Another NATO Afghan Fubar

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A mere two days ago the moronic US Secretary of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton again committed one of her habitual errors and opened mouth prior to engaging brain when she spit the proverbial dummy while publicly condemning the slaughter of a bunch of Afghan election workers by supposed Taliban militants in country’s terror-stricken Bellend Province – insisting with her customary faulty dialectic that the security of such workers must be assured at all costs – for the sake of a (wait for it) ‘democratic future’ – further insisting with a soprano harpy screech that the ineffectual President Karzi get off his lazy arse and see to it that those miscreant terrorist types responsible are brought to justice.

Conversely the attitude from the US war-mongering administration underwent a 360 degree sea change this morning after NATO warplanes in the northern Titsup Province attacked a convoy of aid workers themselves, killing a proverbial multitude and snuffing the white flag-waving parliamentary candidate – Ghurlatun Ibn Zamel – the US’s hand-picked political stooge representing President Hamid Kami Karzai’s Graft & Corruption Party in the area.

The killing was particularly inopportune for Defence Secretary Robert Gates, who had just arrived in Afghanistan in the wake of the strike to meet with President Kami Karzai and discuss security issues pertaining to the forthcoming parliamentary elections.
Gates’ mouthpiece PA, Ms Sapphie Dildodo, immediately kicked the political spin machine into top gear, announcing to anyone gullible enough to listen that this was the first her boss had heard of civilian election campaign staff getting snuffed by yet another NATO air strike snafu - which obviously mistook the vehicle convoy for members of the Taliban Dan Gang.

While NATO chief General Billy Bob Betrayus had the blatant audacity to inform the media that the attack was a ‘precision air strike’ against a known Taliban commander, the governor of Titsup Province, Mr Bala’a il A’air, countered that Taliban Dan and his commanders are not actually reputed for travelling in unarmed 100-vehicle convoys – especially ones painted white and bearing a whopping bright red cross on the roof or the bonnet.

Taking a page from the rug-munching Rodent’s manual of criticism, President Karzi spit his own dummy at a press conference with Western media hacks, and castigated the entire US-led NATO ‘Operation Enduring Warfare’ pantomime for slaughtering more Afghan civilians that the Taliban’s mujihadeen – or the imaginary Big Al Qaeda’s Jolly Jihadi terrorists.

While Secretary Clinton reflects on her ill-timed censorship and concentrates how to disengage her foot from her big gob, President Karzi thought to apply the facility of 20/20 hindsight by ironically paraphrasing the Rodent when informing news media reporters that – “for the sake of a democratic future, those responsible for this criminal massacre of innocent civilians must be brought to justice.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.

Thought for the day: Fuck NATO and the kikesters Project for a New American Century.

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