UK Scally Calls O’Barmy a Prick

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the paranoid psychotics manning the ranks of the Department of Homeland Security states America now faces a new threat so severe that it has given President Barky O’Barmy and the FBI cause to take affirmative preventative action.

Nope, this isn’t Big Al Qaeda and his gang, or Taliban Dan and his boys either. In fact there’s not a single radical religious extremist or international criminal enterprise involved.
Apparently this threat to the American Democratic way of life and Western civilisation in general has been tracked down to a group of half-pissed teenage scallies sending mischievous emails to the Pres’ at the White House, and have come embarrassingly close to the truth by calling him a naughty name.

Reports appearing in today’s Daily Shitraker and the Impostor’s Gazette, a group of British teens led by ring-leader Luke Angel has been banned from the US for life – with their names and identity details logged with the Transportation Security Administration, and also entered on the Immigration and Naturalization Service watch list.

The group of 16-year old youths had reportedly been viewing a conspiracy theory documentary on the telly about the WTC 9/11 attacks and the antics of the hi-fiving Israelis – and WTC building 7 falling over by itself – with the help of lots of pre-planted cutter charges. Hence after sculling several cans of Old Headbanger lager and declaring what a pile of bullshit the entire Neo-Con plot was, blaming it on al Qaeda when it was obviously the manky Mossad – felt the need to vent some spleen and emailed Dubya Bush and also Pres’ Barky O’Barmy concerning the false flag operation – and called them both a pair of ‘pricks’ - a vulgarism for the male genitalia.

However, the email was intercepted by no less than the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who proceeded to contact London’s Metropolitan Police, who then sent officers to visit Luke Angel’s home in Bedford.
While the Plod Squad muttered a few of their customary “Ello,ello, ello – wot ave we ere then” utterances and took a photograph of the lad and his mates - doubtless to be stored on a vital database of dangerous terrorists – didn’t threaten or press any criminal charges.

Hmmm, yet another example of a situation being hyped beyond all rational sense in an effort to convey the Kafkaesque / Orwellian Room 101 belief that if you question or speak out against authority you’ll be treated as a radical anarchist and end up sentenced to a life of hard labour, working down Smegmadale’s Jam Butty Mines.

Doubtless O’Barmy receives a legion of death threats everyday – just from American taxpayers alone, never mind his foreign enemies – so why the fuck are the FBI wasting time, effort and money to target a semi-abusive email from a bunch of drunken yobs in the UK? The mind boggles.

The DHS and TSA besides, the US still suffers from a fatal condition caused by wide open borders, through which stream a succession of violent international drug cartels, radical Islamic terrorists with nuclear materials and bio-weapons – and a horde of Israeli Mossad furniture removers and art students. Plus we have known Nigerian terrorists without passports being helped onto planes in Holland by the U.S. State Department so they can pull a numpty false flag op’ in-flight and try to set fire to their skiddies over Detroit? Really, Detroit might well be a right shithole but does it deserve that?

Regardless of all the above, these pale in comparison to the dangers posed by a gang of email- wielding teens perched around a laptop and calling President O’Barmy a man’s penis. Thank fuck he didn’t call Mr Hope n Change a woman’s penis – or Teleprompter Barry – or the Kenyan Cuckoo – then the shit might have really hit the fan and the FBI demanded Luke and his co-conspirator’s extradition to face trial in the US and suffer decades in one of their legion of sodomite’s paradise penitentiaries – just as they are still trying to do with disabled hacker Gary McKinnon.

Thought for the day: Well, young Luke’s banned forever (a long, long time) from visiting the United States – which conveniently nixes the chance of ever getting snatched under the lop-sided US / UK extradition treaty to answer charges of insulting the African-Indonesian bloke with the forged Hawaiian birth certificate.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.