Thursday, 30 September 2010

EUSSR Outlaws Herbs for Big Pharma

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Just as the Vatican’s ruling pond scum ordered the witch hunts of the Dark and Middle Ages to eradicate the heretical hermits and old crones, those worshippers of the Tree and the Stone, so well versed in naturopathic and herbal knowledge, again we see a parallel revival of this sin.

Big Pharma is set to pull the biggest ‘criminal’ April Fool’s joke of all time in 2011 and cross the finish line first, having finally won its decades-long contest to eradicate all competition – especially so from the alternative treatments and herbal medicines community – and the gross violations of self-determination and human rights be damned.

As of the 1st April 2011 all medicinal herbs will become illegal across and throughout the EUSSR’s 27 member states when the European Directive on Traditional Herbal Medicinal Products (THMPD) is enforced.

This dystopian directive requires that all herbal preparations must be put through the same manner of processing and testing as pharmaceuticals, regardless of whether a herb has been in common daily or seasonal use since Adam and Eve got their sorry arses evicted from Eden for scrumping and non-payment of rent.

The wholly corrupt EUSSR institution, which enshrined corporatism in its constitution as a founding principle, is set to dance the jig to Big Pharma’s tune, and ignore the stark reality of the fact that just because a herb has been used safely and effectively since time immemorial it is no longer a viable reason to allow it to be grown, harvested, processed and sold without the same stringent regulations that apply to the legion of synthetic drugs and medicines that government licensing bodies approve for Big Pharma.

Hmmm, dodgy drugs sanctioned for human use even with conjured test results doctored and rigged to conceal the fact that negative side effects of these drugs on lab’ rats - both pathological and psychological – exceed those of a cocktail of cannabis, LSD and plutonium 239.

So, under this novel vetting procedure a classical herbal medicine from a non-European traditional culture passing successfully and without hindrance through the Brussels-based EUSSR’s registration scheme will become akin to shoving butter up a rabid porcupine’s arsehole with a pair of hot curling tongs.

Hence as of April 1st, it will be illegal to rub a dock leaf on a nettle sting – unless said dock leaf has been prescribed by your GP. Hmmm, one ponders on the legal status of eating your recommended five-a-day fruits and veggies as they’ve been deemed to ‘promote good health’?

So, if mass protest does not halt this travesty then it’s going to be bye-bye traditional Chinese medicine and all those healing herbs – the fruits and bounty of Gaia - for whatever ails us Mother Nature can provide a cure.

Alas, humanity has an established record of suffering from cognitive impairment where matters of life or death decision are concerned and only corrects these later through 20/20 hindsight and after much suffering.
It is a sad fact – humanity’s curious refusal to behave rationally in what seems their own best interest, and while endowed with the facility of logic and reason, prefers folly.

Conversely, just imagine the implications for freedom of choice if humanity used its numerical potential to say NO to the system and ceased to cooperate with its own enslavement.

So, if anyone’s interested enough in protecting their hallowed and historic and traditional right to herbal remedies and wants to kick this heinous THMPD legislation squarely in the arse – and too the equally-atrocious Codex Alimentarius - then e-mail or write to your local MP and MEP with the following message: “Protect nutritional supplements and nature’s herbs as foods or we will remove you from office”.

As the maxim goes: You might not be able to cure stupid but you can vote it out.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the EUSSR’s Directive on Traditional Herbal Medicinal Products - and Big Pharma - and the New World Order.

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