Thursday, 9 September 2010

UK Muslims Plan Koran Bonfire Reprisal

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In response to the plan proposed by Pastor Billy Bob Bonkers of Redneck County, Florida, to hold a Koran-burning ceremony on the 11th September to mark the anniversary of the heinous Israeli false flag attacks directed at New York’s World Trade Centre Twin Towers - and the Pentagon on 9/11/2001 - Islamic militants in Britain are planning to respond in kind – by staging a mass Bible-burning demonstration in Bradford when Pope Benny, the Mk 16 built-to-last German Ubermensch model arrives in the UK in the middle of this month as part his world-wide ‘kiddie fiddling apology’ tour.

One report, just in from the Gideon’s Society, claims their hotel-placed copies of the Bible are being pilfered en mass across Britain – an act of spiritual sabotage they believe is being undertaken by radical ranks of Muslim house maids and room cleaners working in hotel chains – and stored away ready for the ‘Bible Bonfire’ when Pope Benny touches down on the 16th September.

Meanwhile, back in the good ole US of A – the Land of the Free and all that bullshit – US Attorney General Hymie Scumberg, speaking on behalf of the O’Barmy administration, claims it’s powerless to prevent Pastor Bonkers from holding his Koran burning ritual as it neither transgresses not violates any existing federal statutes or laws – apart from those of decency and respect – and also common sense.

Saturday's 9/11 anniversary is also set to coincide with festivities for Eid al-Fitr, which marks the end of the Islamic holy month of Ramadan, a time of prayer and fasting and setting off suicide bombs for nearly a billion and a half Muslims worldwide.

This controversy with Pastor Bonkers and his Florida-based Cheesy Crust Church of Seventh Day Bigots rears its ugly head at a time when the US relationship with Islam is very much under scrutiny – especially so with the on-going frenzied debate concerning a Muslim proposal to build a mosque and Islamic ‘cultural centre’ (sic) around the corner from the Ground Zero site of the 9/11 attacks in New York.

Speaking at a State Department dinner marking the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, US Secretary of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton condemned Pastor Bonkers’ incendiary plan (sic - no pun intended) to stage the open-air burning ceremony of 2,996 Korans – a figure symbolic of the official head count of victims snuffed by the hi-fiving Israeli’s from Mossad Movers in the 9/11 WTC false flag attacks – including the imaginary 19 Al Qaeda 'Jolly Jihadi' terrorist hijackers who weren’t aboard the remote-piloted holographic plane projections.

Conversely, the disingenuous statements of government besides, they can stop Pastor Bonkers’ proposed pyrotechnic event with ease – just put the Department of Homeland Security thugs onto it, citing domestic terrorism – and an act likely to incite sectarian violence. It’s simply a matter of ministerial will.
However, truth be known, they don’t want to stop it – it’s all political posturing by Secretary Rodent Clinton and General Betrayus and Pres’ Barky O’Barmy – they want it to happen – they want a Holy War – the entire gameplan of their Zionist Jew World Order masters.

For his own part Pastor Billy Bob informed a reporter from the Crusaders Gazette “These Muslim types wanna go an’ build a mosque at Ground Zero to celebrate their perceived victory over the Western Infidels, over the Great Satan - as they refer to us because of our Capitalist system. Well fuck ‘em all an’ I don’t give a shit if they do stick one of them there licence to kill fatwas on my head.”
“This here Ramadan Dan guy what’s celebratin’ his Eid al-Fitr birthday this week an’ his buddy Big Al Qaeda – an’ their Taliban bully boys - we gotta send these guys a clear message that we can fly airplanes into tall buildings jest like they can – so watch out Mohammed Towers in Tehran an’ that new world’s tallest Burj Khalifa thingy-ma-jig in Dubai!”

As US-based Muslims are playing a tactical ‘keep our heads down’ concerning Pastor Bonkers’ crematory tribute to Moloch, their British-based counterparts led by Zeenat ibn Himar, the radical anarchist eldest son of Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer - (a Kuwaiti zillionaire whose family fortune was founded on commercial scale goat herding - and who holds the hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in the Persian Gulf region) – are planning a comparative and fitting response.

As Pastor Bonkers’ ceremony will involve the incineration of a symbolic 2,996 Korans, Mr Ibn Himar’s Jolly Jihadi Shaheed Warriors plan on burning a pile of 28,758 Bibles outside Bradford’s St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Catamites – a figure symbolic of the number of abused children around the globe who have filed charges of sexual abuse against kiddie-fiddling Catholic priests.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references - and particles of Koran and Bible ash.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby.

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