In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.
Well the Battle for Hearts & Minds might have been given up as total waste of time and effort (read ‘dead loss’) as a mere 14,000 US GI Joe combat troops pull out of Iraq and move across to a nice fresh Afghan posting to provide Taliban Dan and his gang of Jolly Jihadis with some extra target practice.
However the Battle against Bullshit in Baghdad - and hypocrisy, spin and blatant lies across Iraq continues – helped along by the ‘other’ 56,000 US troops that are remaining there – to assist the government’s inept armed forces in guarding the – er – government - from what are loosely termed ‘disaffected and marginalised’ political and militia groups such as the Ba’athists and the Shites - plus the Sunni’s and Cher’s.
So, after telling a heap of porkie pies concerning dodgy dossiers – by Duya Bush in Washington and Tony Bliar in London - to ‘justify’ (sic) the illegal invasion of Iraq – plus the seven and a half years since, spent making a total fuck of the place - just to steal someone else’s property - Operation Iraqi Fuckups goes into ‘whisper mode’ as the 14,000 grunts comprising the ranks of the 4th Stryker Brigade Combat Team piss off to pastures new to kill and maim kids of a different nationality – but the same demonised heathen religion.
Washington’s deadwood O’Barmy administration had pledged to reduce overall troops numbers to 50,000 by 31 August – which was specifically ‘yesterday’. But what are 6,000 extra between friends – especially so considering the mortality count from snipers and IED’s over the course of a week.
In fact a week when one suicide bomber with an attitude problem killed at least 60 army recruits in central Baghdad, highlighting the numpty logic of leaving behind a rear guard of 56,000 non-combatant troops.
However the Daily Shitraker claims that the gospel according to the US military Deputy Dawg Commander, General Billy Bob Conehead, speaking from his bunker in the ever-pleasant Green Zone, the 56,000 US troops still remaining might well be of the ‘non-combat’ variety – but refused to clarify if ‘non-combat’ meant ‘unarmed’ or if the troops were simply remaining to sweep up the mess they’ve made or decontaminate the radioactive horror that now constitutes the gutted city of Fallujah.
Barry Soetoro’s Defence Secretary, ‘Bent Bobby’ Gates – a man who couldn’t tell the truth even if he hasn’t a lie ready, declined to discuss whether a further 6,000 troops would be withdrawn to comply with the Kenyan cuckoo’s earlier promise, but did inform the Dover Test Gazette "During the last 18 months, over 90,000 US troops have left Iraq – and while the majority of those were in body bags it’s still a lot of troops."
So, according to one report in the Despot’s Gazette, quoting US Vice-President Jumpin’ Joe Bidet in Baghdad, the US-led Operation Enduring Fuckups is officially over – and by logical progression, obviously the occupation of Iraq too. Conversely, with 56,000 US troops still on the ground there – in whatever disingenuous fucking capacity – combatant / non-combatant – call them what you will – it’s still an occupation – by another fucking name – even if the troops are there to protect and maintain the National Graft & Corruption Party government of US muppet and career stooge, Prime Minister Nouri al Waikiki - who had the moronic audacity to proclaim “At last, my country is now independent as the US has formally ended combat operations.”
Alas, what results has this illegal invasion and ensuing war of attrition by the US Forces of Darkness wrought – apart from filling the coffers of the infidel Mammon-worshipping oil companies and the military-industrial complex? Saddam Hussein was a bit of an all-round nasty cunt – but at the end of the day, originally a US-backed stooge, and definitely no worse than some of the despots the Zionist kikesters have invested by force of arms and deception as leaders around the poverty-stricken shitholes that constitute the Third World – to maintain US hegemony and protect their commercial interests.
Further, Saddam Hussein was no worse than some of the world leaders who pushed for his ouster and the seizure of Iraq’s oilfields and the creation of a giant Mid-East military power base to terrorise the Islamic nations - such as Israel’s incumbent psychopath Binman Nutyahoo – or the moronic George W Bush – or that evil perjurious twat Tony Bliar.
Old Saddam ran a tight ship and a nice stable government – maintaining a perfect infrastructure - schools and utilities and health care. Now look at the fucking mess the Yanks have left the place in.
Ah well, at least Ahmed ‘Watch yer Pockets’ Chalabi, of dodgy dossier Curveball fame, and his crooked INC Party aren’t running the place. Thank Christ – or Allah – for small mercies.
However, the word on the streets in Iraq isn’t quite in accordance with PM Nouri al Waikiki’s pronouncement.
Mr Istimna ibn Himar, a 96-year-old goat doctor from Basra told the Manuke Khara news agency "It is all a bunch of old bollocks as you say in the West. There is no real Iraqi government – we are still ruled out of Wall Street and as long as there is oil in the ground then the US soldiers will remain in Iraq – thus it will still be occupied. “Go - we want all you Yankee fuckpigs out! Go, and take your dead bodies with you – and all this depleted uranium shit too.”
Hmmm, thank you for those heart-felt sentiments Mr ibn Himar.
Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and misaligned references.
Thought for the day: Fuck the criminal Neo-Con Zionist stooges, and the Project for a New American Century - and the New World Order.
Rusty’s Skewed News Views – Purveyors of Bespoke Satire – enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of political incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby.
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