Tuesday, 27 April 2010

OK Corral Gunfight Verdict Questioned

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the sons of Belial.

Records from an inquest into the notorious Sleazy Twat Saloon punch up, which immediately preceded – and apparently was the cause of - the 1881 shootout at the infamous OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona - have been discovered pigeonholed in a Bellend County court storeroom.

The controversial scrawled notes are a transcript of a witness statement about the firefight between a group of ‘shoot first – ask questions later’ lawmen including Wyatt Twerp - and a bunch known desperados, who were all slightly killed during the incident.

However two groups of palaeography experts brought in to consult on and verify the authenticity of the documents are now at loggerheads - with the Harvard-based camp claiming the inquest report and witness statement are all genuine and circa 1881, while the opposing camp from Princeton claim the yellowed pages, in entirety, are about as kosher as President Barky O’Barmy’s Hawaiian birth certificate.

Regardless of proven authenticity being established, since this new ‘evidence’ relating to the OK Corral shootout was discovered and became public knowledge, Ms Fellattia Clayton and Ms Chlamydia McLaury, both direct descendants of the respective slain outlaws, have initiated what some media sources are referring to as the biggest bullshit nuisance lawsuit since Razorback Palaver, the late Shah of Iran tried to sue Sayyed Ruhollah Mousavi Khomeini (aka Mr Happy) - the late Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla – for the return of his seized Iranian assets – specifically Iran.

However, while crying “Foul!” over the ensanguined outcome of the infamous gunfight, Ms Sue Fleecem, the Las Vegas-based attorney for both women, who just happen to be ‘therapists’ at the modern day Sodom’s infamous Rub n Tug Massage Salon on Scumsters Boulevard, claim their outlaw ancestors were set up and bushwhacked - and are now demanding criminal compensation - plus 129 years of accumulated interest - from the Wyatt Twerp Foundation Museum.

The gospel according to contemporary history states that on the 26th October, 1881, Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan Twerp, accompanied by Doc (call me Mary) Holliday, confronted Ike and Billy Clanton and Frank and Tom McLaury behind the OK Corral and proceeded to have a pissing contest which apparently became quite nasty – as pissing contests have a bad habit of doing – and a firefight broke out – in which the McLaury brothers and Billy Clanton were seriously killed.

The incident and subsequent investigation were covered heavily in the Twerp-controlled news media and penny dreadfuls at the time, with the gun fight entering the folklore of the Wild West which made heroes of the Twerp brothers and has been portrayed more times in Hollywood films than the Zionist kikester Holohoax.

Conversely, nearly 130 years after the shootout, it still remains unclear which party fired first - and even whether any of the outlaws were armed.
The official inquest report states the Twerps and Doc Holliday swore they were defending themselves, but the outlaw supporters of the dead men – all members of the infamous Scally Gang, claim they were set up and murdered.

The apocryphal witness document appears to include testimony by a certain Billy Bob McTwatt, who the Tombstone historian Claytus Fuctifino identified as a friend of the three dead men - and too a member of the dreaded Scally Gang.

McTwatt’s witness statement reads “The McLaury boys and old Billy Clanton got themselves bushwhacked. The Twerp brothers lied and said Doc had gone on holiday but we saw him – he was right there behind the OK Corral – hiding up on top of Grassy Knoll Hill with his Sharps 30/30 buffalo rifle sniping at our boys backs.”

What do you think? Were the Scally Gang members set up to get snuffed? Do you believe Doc Holliday was on vacation? Did he send any postcards? Was Billy Clanton the victim of an ‘assisted suicide’? Have you ever heard of an international assassin called Mr. Grassy Knoll?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies and mis-spoken references.

Thought for the day: If a bear shits on a Grassy Knoll is there a chance an assassin might tread in it and leave a footprint?

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